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Guest Canadiano

Winston Churchill's Wit

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Guest Canadiano

So apparently he would drink a lot and sleep in the parliamentary meetings. One day, the guy next to him wakes him up and tells him that his "sentry post is open" (fly is down). Churchill says,

"Well, is the sentry alert and standing at attention? Or is he sleeping on the sandbags."

 

 

Another time, he is at a party of some sort, and a woman comes to Sir Winston and tells him that he is drunk in a bitchy manner. Says Churchill,

"I'm drunk, and you're ugly. Tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you will still be ugly."

 

 

told to me by a friend, who heard these from his boss.

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Originally said by Winston Churchill

"I'm drunk, and you're ugly. Tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you will still be ugly."

 

haha. I likes.

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Guest NATO

i remember hearing some woman said to him "if you were my husband i would put poison in your tea" he replied "if you were my wife i'd drink it"

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Guest --zeSto--

"Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash."

 

ouch!

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that guy was a classic drunk....

 

the way to make the perfect martini according to winston churchill: "fill your glass with gin and glance at a bottle of vermouth across the room"

 

i can think of a few bartenders who could use that advice....sorry fucks

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Guest --zeSto--

I think it's a good idea to at least touch the vermooth bottle to the shaker.

It makes a nice 'kling' sound and announces to the room that it's ready to rock.

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Guest sneak
Originally posted by NATO

i remember hearing some woman said to him "if you were my husband i would put poison in your tea" he replied "if you were my wife i'd drink it"

 

ahahahahahaha the best one yet...

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Originally posted by --zeSto--

I think it's a good idea to at least touch the vermooth bottle to the shaker.

It makes a nice 'kling' sound and announces to the room that it's ready to rock.

 

hahha, well vermouth is a given....the point is to keep it dry though, very, very dry....

 

these assholes on this 3 to 1 ratio garbage are clueless....

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Guest --zeSto--

yes... shaking bruises the liquor.

 

BUT... the average 'shaker' is also a strainer, which is essential to a nice martini.

the ice is on my wrist, not in my drink!

 

I like a bit of a dirty matrini some times,

but if the fucker just pours in olive brine

from the bottle, I'll be sending it back.

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i never realised what a witty old chap sir winston was...apart from liking a drink or 10, he suffered from depression, which he called his 'black dog', when he was bad he would think about throwing himself under trains and shit like that, but fuck that, he did a pretty good job for a depressive alcoholic...hmmm, maybe a good biography to read, want to hear more of his wit

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Churchill is dozing in a train carriage. A woman enters and sits across from him. She notices his flies are undone. 'Sir!' she exclaims, 'Your penis is sticking out!'

 

Churchill starts awake, gives the woman a cold stare, looks down for a moment then meets her gaze again. 'Madam, you flatter yourself. It is merely hanging out.'

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Guest angry xbox

you missed his best and most wisest qoute of all the ages kids...

 

"those who are willing to give up a little bit of freedom for a little bit of security in return will soon find they have niether."

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Guest Canadiano

^^ hey, that's not witty, it's just smart.

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Guest angry xbox

its everything and id bet hed shit if he was still alive and saw the world today

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