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Cup-O-Pizza

Crazy wacky kids jokes!!

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Here are some horrible jokes I've made up over the years:

 

Q: What do you need to have a really good art collection?

 

A: Monet! (you have to rub your thumb and pointer finger together when you say it)

 

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I was talking to this guy at Circuit City and he was taking a CD player back for a refund. I asked him why and he said "Dude, i'm taking it back because every single SONY CD player is wack yo. None of them work right".

 

I said "That's just a sterotype".

 

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Do you know why my uncle got kicked out of the Armed Forces?

 

He lost both of his arms.

 

Then he was a foot soldier in the Army until he lost both his legs.

 

He was disgraced. He said he would have kicked himself out, but he...didnt have any legs.

 

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Q:What do you call a fruit that's afraid to get married without permission?

 

A: A Can't-Elope

 

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Q: What do you call a 100,000,000 Watt Lightbulb on the sun?

 

A: A bright idea

 

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Q: What does Dracula get in the morning at a bed and breakfast?

 

A: Neck-fest-in-bed

 

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(these next 2 are horrible)

 

Q: Was Jesus better known for his sense of humor, or being the king of the Jews?

A: Both. He was always JewKing.

 

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Q: How do dogs talk to each other long distance?

 

A: The telebone.

 

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Hey lets make like a priest and get the hell out of here.

 

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So yeah. I decided to make a "Worst Jokes of All Time" book. Any submissions would be greatly appreciated.

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Guest bug

what did the fish say when he hit the concrete wall?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dam!

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whats the last thing to go thru a fly's mind as it hits the windshield?

 

 

his ASS!

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these are all brilliant.

 

i didnt make these up but theyre right up my alley.

 

What do you call a dear with no eyes?

 

I have No-Eye-Deer

 

what do you call a deer with no eyes or LEGS?

 

Still no-eye-deer

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why is dracula a vegeterian?

because he keeps away from stakes.

 

Why are lollipops bad at boxing?

Because they always get licked.

 

What do you call a grahm craker that robs banks?

a safe cracker.

 

How do you turn a tomato into squash?

throw it up in the air and it comes down SQUASH!

 

and, the worst one ever...

 

Who was the Greek conquerer who loved fruits?

 

Alexander the Grape.

 

:lol:... :( no

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Guest sneak

what do u call a dinosaur with one eye??

 

do-u-think-he-saw-us

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Guest THEdude

LOL

 

 

the best

 

 

(NO APPLAUSE NEEDED):)

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Guest sneak

^^wtf u ona bout? whose joke? mine? ahaha

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what's the definition of embarassment?

 

 

 

 

 

 

running at a wall with a hard on and breaking your nose first

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Q. What is long, tubular and holds semen?

 

 

 

 

 

A. a submarine

 

 

 

 

Q. What was the only known lesbian dinosaurs name?

 

 

 

 

A. lickalotapuss

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Q: Why do jews have Big Noses?

 

A: Cuz the Air is Free!

 

 

 

 

 

...I got nothing against jews, but i thought that shit was pretty funny....

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haha, jew jokes.

 

how do you know you're at a jew's house....?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

there's toilet paper on the clothes line :lol:

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a sandwhich walks into a bar and the bar tender says "sorry we dont serve food here"

 

 

a man walks into a bar with a giraffe and ties it to a table while ordering a drink, the bartender says "hey you cant leave that lyin there" the man replies "no its not a lion its a giraffe.

 

 

boodoom chshhh!

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Originally posted by wiseguy

whats brown and sticky?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a stick!

 

HAHAHA :):)

 

Ah man this shit is funny, it's like those fuckin pop cicles with jokes on the stick, or Laffy Taffy I guess.

 

This one doesn't make too much sense, but it's the oldest joke I know:

 

What did the acorn say when he grew up?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...GEOMETRY!

haha

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k well my friend told me this joke and i laughed alot! so i thot u guys might find this sorta funny altho it makes fun of "special" people. but newas here it is

 

 

Q. Whats better then winning gold at the special olympics?

 

A. Not being retarded!!

 

 

And im sorry if that offense neone, i dont mine 2 be mean! I just find it sorta funny!

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Originally posted by soccer

Q. Whats better then winning gold at the special olympics?

 

A. Not being retarded!!

 

Your friend took his joke from one of the most widely distributed pictures ever to be posted on web-forums.

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