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boogie hands

HANDS/INVALID IN 2004!!!

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do to the suggestions of a certain Mental Invalid i have indeed decided to run for election in '04 with, yes, you guessed it....Mental Invalid as my running mate. during this time i will breifly go over my veiws on the major issues affecting our country, after which i will feild questions and then be whisked away to my strech hummer for a afternoon of hennessy and victoria secret models.

 

THE ENVIROMENT- gas powered vehicles will be a thing of the past. i will impose new guidelines for the automobile industry with an emphasis on alternative power sources. in the spirit of enviromentaly safe transportation i will also ban SUVs....that is excluding the escalade and the hummer which are mandatory for optimal balling.

 

HEALTH CARE- i plan on following the route of our northern brothers and providing free health care for our nation. there will be no tax increase due to the amout of money that will be saved by using alternative power sources.

 

EDUCATION- teachers will be paid more, sports players will be paid less. really...what are the sports players going to say? theyre going to find a new job? sure...ive got an opening in my janitorial staff that would be perfect for you....

 

INCLIMATE WEATHER ON BARBEQUE DATES- this will be outlawed completly. a good barbeque takes careful planning, marinating the meat, renting the keg, etc. etc. and it is completly unacceptable for it to rain on the date of a scheduled barbeque. i fully realize that this could have some impact on farming which is why i have set aside rain date through out the year to keep mother nature "regular" while still providing dissapointment free cookouts.

 

SHOES- i have planned to impose a 1 million dollar penalty on any shoe company found responsible for the manufacturing of shoes that in anyway resemble space boots. in addition i will require reebok to manufacture the reebok classic in 8 different color combinations.

 

other less important issues....

 

FLAVORED BEER- the consumtion of flavored or "iced" beer will now be a class A felony, in addition all males found guiltly of this act will be required to get breast implants and only wear baby tees with the words "i have no taste or class....please slap me for being a complete pussy".

 

TOILET PAPER- all manufactuers of toilet paper will now be required to stay at a 2 ply minimum and the words "toilet paper" on the packaging will be replaced with the words "shit tickets" because its funny.

 

i (and my running mate if he feels inclined) will now take questions from the press....

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Guest 455

haha.....fuck,you should run for the election.....you got 1(one) vote.

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

I was gonna say "Count me in!!", but then I noticed that the penalty on flavored beer was considered a "less important" issue. I'm not endorsing leadership with such faulty priorities. Beer,

 

El Mamerro

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Guest --zeSto--

word beer,

 

it should go like this....

 

Beer, tax cuts, the national debt, Strippers, Health Care, Shit Tickets, Defence come last.

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

No, it should go like this:

 

Beer,

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who is your opponent?

 

is there someone running against you, or do u win by default.

 

and i like flavored malt liquor/beer drinks so i don't know if i support that one.....

 

can we add, no crying babies on airplanes??

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Originally posted by ubejinxed

who is your opponent?

 

is there someone running against you, or do u win by default.

 

and i like flavored malt liquor/beer drinks so i don't know if i support that one.....

 

can we add, no crying babies on airplanes??

 

or anywhere??;)

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Originally posted by ubejinxed

who is your opponent?

 

is there someone running against you, or do u win by default.

 

and i like flavored malt liquor/beer drinks so i don't know if i support that one.....

 

can we add, no crying babies on airplanes??

 

i win by default...im boogie hands goddammit

 

you can drink flavored beer if you are a girl...its still a bit more sexy to have a nice pint of amstel though

 

no crying babies in exchange for a fifth of bombay saphire and a night at the strip club on you....

 

 

 

 

and zesto...your fucking crazy if you think shit tickets after the national debt...no way...not during my term

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Guest --zeSto--
Originally posted by ubejinxed

and i like flavored malt liquor/beer drinks so i don't know if i support that one.....

 

you missed the 'all males' part. You can drink whatever you want.

It's the men who are forbidden to consume "Spiced Apple - Berry Vodka Coolers"

 

and mamerro... did you get that flick last night ?

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p.s.- calling the president a dildo will not be permitted and the assumption will be made that you are indeed a drinker of flavored beer.....

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Guest --zeSto--

WORD!!

 

peace at last! the 49th parallel will only be guarded against panty raids!

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what is the hands/invalid stand point on the usage of the word ish and people typing with internet ebonics and alternating caps?

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need a HAND, well we need your vote.....

 

HANDS downs the man for the job....

 

we are the sound of one HAND clapping....

 

HANDS across america.....

 

believe it or not the HAND is better than the BUSH....

 

 

these are only slogans off the top of my head.....be ready for more....

 

 

im so gonna kick cheney's ass in the debate, then pour water on his pace maker....

 

our platform will be one of common sense....plain and simple....boogie ofcourse will run the show, and i will be on the sunday tv circuit hanging with my man tim russart on meet the press promoting HANDS and common sense.....

 

awesome........mom is gonna be proud.........

 

please understand that in order for this to work we will need a strong campaign team, so please send us your applications.....

 

HAND IN HAND IN 2004

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Guest --zeSto--

ZaCk mOrRiS iS tAlKiNg pUrE ISH !!!

 

 

just jokes bro... those guys should have to go to jail for fronting to hard.

(oops.. I said fronting. oh well... diplomatic immuntiy)

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Guest --zeSto--

and Rob for everyone ?

 

(speak of which.... )

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zesto-im appointing you enforcer of the "fruity/iced drink consumption by males" ban

 

ubejinxed-of course you can be an intern...ill warn you though i get a little randy after a few drinks...

 

deto-yes, for the posting of sexy females with large glasses of beer you can indeed be senator

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good question zack...

 

our stance i believe is quite simple, except for the occasional WTF or LOL, you will catch a bitch slap upside your head and if you continue type in ebonics or radical internet language I will personally send my 4th grade teacher to your house and she will teach you english grammar all over again...stay in school dipshits

 

i have no patience for that shit, to watch people completely butcher a language as well as type in incomplete thoughts....wonk saggin

 

 

next.......

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