having a bad day?

[jah]

i cant help but laugh.

 

 

THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY.... check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of

forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased

male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his

back, flippers, and facemask.

A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from

massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive

identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a

fully-clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the

coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to

control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of

helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean

and emptied at the site of the forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the

Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket

300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

_________________________________________________________________

Still think you're having a bad day?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the

kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped

into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along

as it burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and

bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an

ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down

the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to

her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right

the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the

spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the

shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into

the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his

business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband

screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers

blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again

phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they

asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They

started laughing so hard, one slipped, tipping the stretcher and dumping

the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

________________________________________________________________

Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil

spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most

expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid

cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a

killer whale ate them both.

________________________________________________________________

Still think you are having a bad day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,

almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist

towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly

current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in

two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his

Walkman.

________________________________________________________________

STILL think you're having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending

pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand

pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.

The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.

_____________________________________________________________

What?! STILL having a bad day??

Iraqi terrorist Kay Fanjet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It

came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the

bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

________________________________________________________________

There now, feeling better?????????

[Pistol]

Urban Legends.

On the discovery channel or something they proved how wach of these could not possible be true.

[evilistic]

true or not its still funny as hell

[DETO]

I GOT INTO A FIGHT AT MCDONALDS TODAY

I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE MY GIRLFRIEND IS CHEATING ON ME

SHE THREW THE RING I BOUGHT HER FOR X-MAS AT ME ($4,200.00)

SHE DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN I CALL HER

MY EX WANT'S ME TO GET BACK WITH HER AND MOVE WITH HER

I HAVE A BROKEN WRIST

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[iCEBERG]

Originally posted by DETO

I GOT INTO A FIGHT AT MCDONALDS TODAY

I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE MY GIRLFRIEND IS CHEATING ON ME

SHE THREW THE RING I BOUGHT HER FOR X-MAS AT ME ($4,200.00)

SHE DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN I CALL HER

MY EX WANT'S ME TO GET BACK WITH HER AND MOVE WITH HER

I HAVE A BROKEN WRIST

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

 

you bought your girl a 42 hundred dollar ring? :lol:

 

atleast she didnt run away with it (thats what i woulda done)

 

now theres two lessons to be learnt

 

1) fuck the bitch, what i mean by that is you already fucked the bitch so fuck the bitch

 

and number 2. dont ever, ever in your life by another female a peice of jewelry, a fucking car, a go ped or a goddamn bop-it. her love shouldnt cost a thing ask j-lo

[Guest willy.wonka]

thanks for cheerin me up....i needed it.