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Zack Morris

Kitty Porn

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Guest uncle-boy
Originally posted by platapie

what da fuck.

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Guest serpent of the light

that was fucking gay as aids.

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Guest NoamChomsky

swish balls on yo face son

 

 

16OIAPNOAM(16 Ounces In A Pound Noam)

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holy shit! the furniture porn sites letters section has be laughing my ass off :lol:

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letter...

 

You call this erotic? I have much better looking barely legal chairs than you and I'm a professional photographer and I'm fixing to make my own damn chair porn and put your ass out of business. I already have investment bankers standing in line at my exclusive live furniture performances and I know where to get some badass spam mail software and 100,000 e-mail addresses for only $49.99 so you can just kiss your amateurish little attempt at a chair porn website goodbye.

 

 

 

Dear Netizen,

 

Thank you for your interest in the Furniture Porn web site (http://www.furnitureporn.com). We here at Furniture Porn are proud to serve the debased needs and bestial lusts of the World Wide Web community. We hope to continue to serve those needs into the new millennium.

 

You have expressed interest in: threatening our livelihood.

 

Thank you for your interest. We here at Furniture Porn support the capitalist principles of free market competition that make America great! Your superior resources and finances would seem to give you a clear advantage over our web site. However, we would like to point out that you do not have our extensive connections with the world of organized crime. They seem quite determined to keep a monopoly on the highly profitable world of furniture pornography. While we at Furniture Porn support the principle of competition, we have no use for its actual application. We would ask that you please reconsider your actions or you will soon receive visits from our "business associates." Very unpleasant visits.

 

Once again, thank you for your interest and we hope you will continue to enjoy Furniture Porn in the future.

 

Sincerely,

The Furniture Porn Webmaster

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another letter...

 

how come all the furniture is labeled as gay teenage sluts. I dont apperciate u naming furniture thats "fucking" after gay teen sluts. i find it offensive . even though im not gay that could hurt teens feelings cause were not all gay sluty chairs!!!!

 

 

 

Dear Netizen,

 

Thank you for your interest in the Furniture Porn web site (http://www.furnitureporn.com). We here at Furniture Porn are proud to serve the debased needs and bestial lusts of the World Wide Web community. We hope to continue to serve those needs into the new millennium.

 

You have asked: how come all the furniture is labeled as gay teenage sluts?

 

Thank you for your interest. Please rest assured that only one of our four pictorials is homosexual. The other three pictorials are strictly heterosexual. Neither is it our intention to single out homosexual furniture as being particularly "slutty." I think you will find our heterosexual furniture just as wanton and sleazy as the homosexual furniture.

 

Further, we especially do not wish to insult homosexual furniture or the homosexual furniture community by tarring them all with the same "slut" brush. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most pieces of homosexual furniture are fine, upstanding members of their community. It is only those three homosexual chairs in the pictorial in question that are sluts, and their sluttish behavior is more than amply illustrated by the many hot, hot photos of them getting their freak on, in a very hot and sluttish manner. It is coincidence really that they are all teens, as well.

 

We take your criticism to heart, though, and promise that we will add a future pictorial depicting a loving, caring, strictly monogamous consenting adult homosexual furniture couple gently pleasuring each other as equals.

 

Once again, thank you for your interest and we hope you will continue to enjoy Furniture Porn in the future.

 

Sincerely,

The Furniture Porn Webmaster

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