Poop Man Bob Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 http://www.nj.com/living/ledger/index.ssf?...98605153877.xml Saturday, April 27, 2002 BY PETER GENOVESE Star-Ledger Staff Every day for the past five years -- with a handful of exceptions -- Mike Uris has called the Domino's on Main Street in Ramsey, where he lives, and orders the same thing. Medium pizza, four Diet Cokes. You want to hear the specials, Mr. Uris? No, he'll politely say, I really don't. Do the cheesy math -- in five years, Uris, a retired advertising director, has eaten nearly 2,000 eight-slice pizzas. Six slices for lunch, at 11:15 a.m.; one slice for dinner, at 6 p.m., and one slice, plus all the crusts, for his late night snack, around 11. The dinner and snack slices he eats cold; he doesn't own a microwave, but wouldn't heat the slices up even if he did. Four Diet Cokes come with every order -- two for lunch, one for dinner, one for the late night snack. Always delivered; he's never even been in the Domino's. Asked if most people would call him, well, cuckoo, Uris smiled. "I probably am," he said. "I don't find excessive sanity a virtue." Every few months, Uris, who never eats breakfast, will actually eat something other than pizza. A week ago, he had dinner at a Ridgewood restaurant with his 24-year-old son, Adam. "Broiled salmon with mashed potatoes and carrots," Uris recalled. "And the treasure of treasures, a piece of cherry pie and a glass of milk." Maybe deep down, he's an old-fashioned guy. How did all this begin? How does one decide to devote his life to pizza? Five years ago, when he was living in Ridgewood, Uris had the sudden urge for a medium plain pizza from Domino's. He can't explain it; the feeling came over him like, well, a pound of dough (which, with 4.2 ounces of sauce and five ounces of cheese, make up the average 12-inch medium Domino's pizza). "They deliver," he said, trying to explain his obsession. "For the past five years, I've dealt with a number of (Domino's employees). They are without exception the nicest bunch of people I've ever dealt with." In 30-plus years in the ad business, he dealt with some not-so-nice people. He spent an "awful three years" at one New York ad agency. "I had a supervisor who was an a ----, and I said so," he explained. "I was fired the next day." He met his future wife, Lynn, on a photo shoot; married 15 years, they divorced in 1990. They have one son, Adam; Uris has two stepdaughters, Jessica and Amanda. Uris goes to his ex-wife's for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. Pizza is nowhere to be found. Uris -- 5 foot 10, 210 pounds -- lives in a tidy, neat apartment, apart from the rumpled bed where at 11:15 every morning he plunks his pizza and two cans of Diet Coke. A leather couch in the shape of a giant baseball glove and an oversize lamp with a neck as long as a giraffe's adorn the living room. Ten empty pizza boxes sit on a kitchen counter; Karen, his cleaning woman, tosses them in the recycling bin outside. Uris' passion for pizza calls to mind the single-track diet of Jared Fogle, the guy on the Subway ads who went from 425 pounds to 190 eating practically nothing but Subway subs. But Fogle did it for just one year; Uris has been on the "Domino's Diet" for five. He said his cholesterol is "high-ish," although he doesn't remember the number, but said it's not anything he needs to take medicine for. Get the door, it's Domino's? Uris got the door the other day and nothing happened. It was stuck. Outside stood Jennifer Faust, one of the regular delivery persons, with a medium ground beef and pineapple (he changes toppings every few months). Would the streak be broken? Would Mike Uris survive a day without pizza? Fortunately, after several hard shoves, the door gave. Uris handed over his check (he never pays cash because he doesn't like leaving a lot of money around), Faust handed over the pizza and Uris headed to his kitchen, where he popped the pizza, as usual, into the refrigerator for several minutes. "It takes off the heat," he explained. "Otherwise I'd burn my mouth." Then the Yankees fan and movie buff (two of his all-time favorites: "Casablanca" and "Hoosiers") retired, as usual, to his bedroom, where, stretched out on his bed, TV tuned to "NYPD Blue," Uris dug into the same lunch/dinner, and beverage, he's had the past five years. "They sent me four (regular) Cokes one day last year," he said. "I still have them." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abortron Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 "I don't find excessive sanity a virtue." brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 erm........riiiittttteeee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NATO Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 how can you survive on pizza and coke alone?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr. frink one Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 every month or so I order a pizza and I eat it all and then the box sits there and the smell is there when I wake up and I feel all greesy.... that is so sad.. and gross... all i can think of is cheap mozzarella in his veins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 Is that supposed to be healthy or something?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kissmyass#1 Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 i found somebody who loves pizza more than me........:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Mang Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 yes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grandmaster Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 very interesting indeed i quit junk food but i still love pizza pizza expresssssssssssssss whoop whoop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wilt Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 thats gross..dominos is such cheaply made pizza..i used to work there and i also worked at a gourmet pizza parlor...i must say dominos gets the thumbs down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Morris Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 I thaught I was a lazy bastard...atleast I will try and eat something a litle different everyday, and try to make it myself. What a lazy old fucker. this old man will be me in 40 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKUMBALUCKAH Posted April 28, 2002 Share Posted April 28, 2002 Seems like an ad for D****** Pizza if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xdyingfetusx Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 shit if he ate all that pizza..i wonder what his shit looks like :love2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest platapie Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 how much porno do you think he watches? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taco bell bomber Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 i live about 20 min from him..cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DEE38 Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 i love vegiterian pizza with artachoke hearts on them!!! my homeboy is crazy when it comes to pizza. he's like this tall skiny giant standing 6'7" weighing 215 or something... and he orderes a large hawaiian pizza from dominos and a 6 pack of coke, and cinnamon sticks, and eats it all. its so dayum sexy, why , i have no idea... but it's great entertainment. the most i've ever ate was 3 pieces off my medium pizza............ we tried to battle. i of course, lost.. like a damn little bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iris Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 it's "artichoke" dee and my favorite since i was a little kid when he had anoughh $ to actually order out pizza we got a large dominos with blakc olives on it. it's still one of my favorites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High Priest Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 uh...yea... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fr8burner Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 to bad he orders form the worst pizza place around.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hava_nagila Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 yeah i worked at a dominoes pizza. its total crap. blondies! oh and only in america, or THE WHORE OF BABYLON as i like to euphamize, could someone live like this guy. truly sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 dominoes and pizzahut suck ass i cant stand looking at puddle of grease on the bottom of the box when i order from these two i prefer papa johns or little ceasars sausage, bacon, olives, pineapple :yum: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el barto Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 my complaint with papa johns is that i like the pepperoni on the outside so it gets crispy, oohhhh i love that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pistol Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 This is my life except for the diet cokes. Coke Classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 Originally posted by Pistol This is my life except for the diet cokes. Coke Classic diet coke is for pussies, plus would you rather save 5 calories or get cancer... come on now people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el barto Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 coke is wayyyyyyy better than pepsi, fuck pepsi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 Originally posted by el barto coke is wayyyyyyy better than pepsi, fuck pepsi i prefer cactus cooler to anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
23578 Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 yes, pizza, the ultimate food. got alot of b vitamins, and alot of carbos, protien, and a ton of fat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stoney Blaze Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 I get my pies from Mama & Papa's real Italian Pizzeria down the block. Delivered with a six of beer. I prefer the nieghborhood joints to the franchises. http://www.freephoto-i.net/users/Stoney_Blaze/sadie-11.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pistol Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 Rio's Pizza in Pico Rivera, Montebello, and Monterey Park. One is a few blocks away. min. 1-2 per week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HESHIANDET Posted April 29, 2002 Share Posted April 29, 2002 heres the thing, i used to live in that guys general area, and the caliber of the local pizza there is outstanding. that guy is a fucking momo for eating dominos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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