vinyl junkie Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680/overview.gif'> this is amazing... "This site is dedicated to exposing the REAL Number One Public Health Problem in America today: Masturbation. If you have come here looking for Jokes or Humor about Masturbation, then you have come to the wrong place! But if you have come to be Educated on the Straight Facts about the EVILS of Masturbation, then Welcome!" good gosh, a possible link between masturbation and the assault on america?!?! i haven't laughed like this in days... americans for purity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pistol Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Revolt Against the Facist Government, Masterbate for Freedom. Power to the People. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest blood as ink Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 haha..wow...that's a handfull...or maybe not.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pistol Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Warning signs that your child is Masturbating! We at Americans For Purity hope that you never have to deal with the tragic heartbreak of a child who Masturbates. But the sad fact is, Masturbation is rampant among today's youth. The first step towards dealing with a problem is to recognize that the problem exists. Here are some of the most common warning signs that your child may be Masturbating. 4. Does your child listen to "Rock And Roll" music? If a teenager has rebelled against God far enough to listen to the Devil's music, then he or she has almost certainly rebelled enough to try Masturbation. What about rap music? 5. Are there semen stains on your son's bed sheets or underwear? There's only one way they could have gotten there! Line up all of your sons at least twice a day for a family Prayer Meeting and Underwear Check! yeah right come check my underwear mom... 7. Does your child wear fashionable clothing or hairstyles? If your child can't resist the peer pressure to look a certain way, he or she probably can't resist the peer pressure to Masturbate, either. i guess only slobs don't masturbate. But all the cool kids are doing it 8. Does your child look guilty or deny Masturbating? Very few teenagers will openly admit to Masturbating! :rolleyes: 9. Have you caught your child Masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down holding his erect penis, he's probably Masturbating. :eek: Probably Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinyl junkie Posted April 19, 2002 Author Share Posted April 19, 2002 Originally posted by Pistol 9. Have you caught your child Masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down holding his erect penis, he's probably Masturbating. :eek: Probably hahahahaha!!!!! ain't this place great? :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_grim540 Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 God hates it when men waste sperm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wilt Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 7. Does your child wear fashionable clothing or hairstyles? If your child can't resist the peer pressure to look a certain way, he or she probably can't resist the peer pressure to Masturbate, either. "c'mon man!whip it out and rub it!everyones fuckin doing it bro...if you dont masturbate right now...then we're just gonna stop talking to you" these people live in an alternate fucking reality...i would hate to be the child of anyone who has anything to do with that website..anti masturbation sites are the gateway to idiocracy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
23578 Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Man if it didn't go all numb, and then start hurting, i'd masturbate 24/7. Masturbation is not a crime, yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Zero Tolerance! Zero Tolerance has been a rallying cry in the War On Drugs, and is a policy that should be enacted immediately in the War On Masturbation! Any amount of Masturbation is too much! Any person caught touching his or her genitals without a solid, medically-approved reason should be imprisoned in a boot camp. We will teach our children that God did not give us genitals for entertainment. :lol: bah hahahahaaa thats great! masturbation boot camp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnes 37 Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 shit that reminds me gotta tug it tonight mmm any good porn sites? ha ha ha ha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pistol Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 http://www.pornsubmit.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 I have a "Gateway" computer... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Originally posted by Smart I have a "Gateway" computer... did masturbation lead you to buy it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Mang Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 pistol brought up some very disturbing points form the site. i'm sorry but that is just completely totalitarian christian shit. that is why i hate religion in genral. if i had parents like that i swear to god i would kill them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mental invalid Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Myth: There are bigger problems than Masturbation, like drugs and AIDS. Reality: Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! Masturbation costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month! half that figure is due to yours truly....i mean come on, eight hours ina fucking cubicle, peeping the hot girls thread...well you get the point... funny shit.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest -MOE LESTER- Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 HAHAHA WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKIN IDIOTS!!! SOMEONE PLEASE SHOOT THEM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bodice_ripper Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Don't knock masturbation. it's sex with someone I love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadawhat Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Is he for real? "At 3:30 this morning I received a frightening phone call from United States Attorney General John Ashcroft. He informed me that CIA analysts examining documents in Osama Bin-Laden's bombed-out Fortress of Evil had discovered papers that revealed that the "Americans For Purity Hatemail Pages" were being secretly exploited and manipulated by MOSLEM TERRORISTS to send each other coded messages to DESTROY THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! "For the love of God, Al!" He cried, his voice cracking with emotion, "you MUST take the Hatemail pages down immediately!" Mr. Ashcroft said his analysts had determined that the following e-mail, which formerly appeared on our "Hatemail" page, was actually a SECRET CODE: "lol ur gay lol u suck lol i masterbate lol im masterbating rite now lol limp bizkit rules" When agents translated the above e-mail using the code key found in the Al Qaeda den, it revealed the following chilling message, intended for a terrorist mole somewhere in the U.S.: "Hey, Abdul, how's the poisoned Easter Candy plot going? Allah rules!" Well, of course, everything I do is for the love of God (duh!), so I have removed the Hatemail Pages from my site for now. They will return in the future in a non-terrorist-friendly format." Ummmmm, Ok. I now think this site is a fraud. So I am not a bad person! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bodice_ripper Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Originally posted by nomadawhat Ummmmm, Ok. I now think this site is a fraud. So I am not a bad person! Only NOW you thinks its a fraud?!? a similar, but more amusing piss-take page is www.godhatesfigs.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 8. Does your child look guilty or deny Masturbating? Very few teenagers will openly admit to Masturbating! It's like a witch hunt. "We throw you off the cliff, if you fly you're a witch, if you don't, then you have an honarable christian death." Could you imagine a parent as psycho as that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Fuck, I'm in trouble then...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Look Ma, No Hands !! My friend, if you ever had any doubt that Masturbation, Violence and Liberalism are the inseparable causes of the current Assault on America, the e-mails below will change your mind One Hundred Percent! MASTURBATION EQUALS VIOLENCE! How can any honest person believe otherwise in the face of the overwhelming evidence presented here? The one thing that the authors of these messages have in common, other than the fact that they are all seething powderkegs of homicidal fury, is that they all MASTURBATE! LIBERALISM EQUALS VIOLENCE! Note well the Liberal political philosophies parroted by so many of these diatribes! This proves more than ever that ALL Liberal political movements, including Feminism, Communism, Nazism, Vegetarianism, the Democratic Party and the current "Peace" movement, are nothing but violent death cults fueled by the evil hatred that comes from Chronic Masturbation! Can anything be more chilling than a warning that you are on a list of victims to be "killed by people with open minds and accepting personalities?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aederone Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Originally posted by Pistol 7. Does your child wear fashionable clothing or hairstyles? If your child can't resist the peer pressure to look a certain way, he or she probably can't resist the peer pressure to Masturbate, either. it's true.....they made me join a gang...now i can't get out... i'm sick of slangin...:( ...please.....please send help.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 ANYONE whose hair is too long, who listens to Linkin Park or Creed, or who wears baggy "Rave" pants, is in danger of turning into a mass-murdering, genocidal lunatic AT ANY MINUTE! yep... large pants lead to masturbation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bodice_ripper Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Originally posted by --zeSto-- ANYONE , who listens to Linkin Park or Creed.... Yeah, I call these guys wankers too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mental invalid Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 easy on the large pants fool...;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 Practically all music CDs, tapes or MP3 files in your child's possession must be destroyed, especially if they are by pornographic "Rap" artists such as Garth Brooks, Britney Spears or 'NSync. What? Garth Brooks raps? Yee Haw ! this is the funniest site EVER!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 http://free.freespeech.org/shockingtruth/m...erchandise.html HAHAHAHAHAHA ... it's terrible ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest blood as ink Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 http://free.freespeech.org/shockingtruth/cream2.jpg'> "AM10: Vaginal juices detection cream - £9.99 - apply to hands, underwear or cucumbers to detect traces of vaginal juices - cream will turn purple if it comes into contact with vaginal juices" hahahaha classic.the cucumber thing is great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest blood as ink Posted April 19, 2002 Share Posted April 19, 2002 damn zesto that site is screwy...is it real? here's another quote from there site: "* No goths, atheists, intellectuals, homosexuals or Jews are allowed to enter our premisses." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.