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E-DubleSkilZ

How to make Love. New Sexual Positions

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U have probably seen this but its funny as hell.

 

 

 

"How to Make Love."New Sexual Positions

 

The Teabagging: The all time classic manoeuvre of tapping your cock on a chick's forehead while she is sucking on your balls, and =uttering the timeless phrase: "Who's Your daddy?"

 

The Houdini: Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have came. When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it.

 

The Angry Dragon: Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back =of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look =like an angry dragon.=

 

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch: The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favourite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.

 

Dirty Sanchez: A time honoured event in which while laying the bone doggy-style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

 

The Donkey Punch: Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.

 

The Flaming Amazon: This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!

 

The Flying Camel:A personal favourite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.

 

The Screwnicorn: When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

 

The Zombie Mask: While getting head from your favourite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

:D

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Guest platapie

i wonder how many guys have actully tried doign these stupid things to girls? sure fire way not to score with her or anyone she nos ever again.

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Guest me IS cool

haha these are fuckin hilarious! I love: "The Flaming Amazon".... that shits too funny. So is the dirty sanchez. :P

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The Zombie Mask: While getting head from your favourite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

 

 

hahaha

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Guest willy.wonka

overdose

 

shoot your nut up her left nostril....

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The Flying Camel:A personal favourite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.

 

The Screwnicorn: When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

 

The Zombie Mask: While getting head from your favourite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

 

 

 

 

hahahahahahahahhaahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahah! those are great

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Guest ledzep

this is what you get when you combine sex and extreme sports.

 

Houdini <- sounds like fun

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i like to choke a bitch until she's about to go out.then i shove my tounge down her throat,flip her over and raw dog it to the third eye.

i also love it when they beg me not to slit their throats.....

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Originally posted by footsoldier

man shit must be crazy in oakland

 

"oakland california is the city of dope...couldn't be saved by john the pope"..too short

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the houdini is called tha david copper field in daygo an ive dun it, the bitch wasnt that happy but she got over it.i thought it was hilarious an laghued so hard i fell off the bed good shit.

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Guest blink_ATX

i laughed so hard while jackingit while shtting that i blew my load in my mouth.

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the Pepe LePue- while doing a girl in the ass pull out just as your about to cum and shoot your load up the middle of her back creating a white stripe

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Guest RaiD

hasnt this been posted 20 million times?

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Guest eessee

that book looks like it'll come in handy for my girl.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:crazy: <<< thats what she does when i get head......

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Originally posted by WHOSPANK

i like to choke a bitch until she's about to go out.then i shove my tounge down her throat,flip her over and raw dog it to the third eye.

i also love it when they beg me not to slit their throats.....

 

 

I bet the girls just LOVE when you dress up as Eminem in bed too..........................:rolleyes:

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Originally posted by bodice_ripper

 

 

I bet the girls just LOVE when you dress up as Eminem in bed too..........................:rolleyes:

 

well,do you?:yum:

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