Fugazi Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 Have you ever sat down and really thought about life, and about your life? I do it all the time, and it makes me depressed. I'm soon to be 20, and it seems like the best is already behind me. I'll finish college (hopefully), marry (hopefully), get a job (hopefully), and then what is there? With a family and a job, I'll lost most "real" friendships, having little or no time to associate with friends outside the work place. It blows my mind to have my parents being in their mid 50's. I can't say things between us have been the best, but I can't imagine what life will be like when they're gone. Memories fade I suppose. For better? I'm not sure. As hard as the pain of losing a close friend or family member is, maybe it's a good pain. It lets us know that we had something real. But eventually the pain fades, and what are you left with? A few fond memories perhaps. No, I don't think about killing myself, I don't think that's the right answer for anyone. I don't want prozac or any anti-depressants. Is that any way to live? Taking a drug that hides your true emotions and feelings? It's like putting on a blind fold. Life is painful, but it's beautiful as well. Anyways, I just thought I'd share how I feel, see if anyone else can understand me. It feels like life goes so fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 just live life antidepressants only fuck you up worse suicide ran through my head more when i was on them life is definately fast im always trying to catch up i just live day to day now its the only logical solution i can think of i dont want to get married marriage will kill my soul ill save it for when im old and dont have much soul left for the bitch to steal live life and have fun because it will soon be over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinyl junkie Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 Originally posted by Fugazi With a family and a job, I'll lost most "real" friendships, having little or no time to associate with friends outside the work place. i have more thoughts on this if yer interested, but at the moment: why get a job where you have to sacrifice yer life? at the moment i work at a place that i was at all the time anyway... get a job you enjoy, or atleast with people you enjoy... i can never understand why people get these jobs filing papers and typing and shit all day... yeah, it may promise financial security, but you spend years and years of your life doing something you really don't enjoy... get a job y0ou enjoy, and put your life before your work... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ODW Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 life is great. but it is crazy to think about everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted April 11, 2002 Author Share Posted April 11, 2002 Re: Re: Life? Originally posted by vinyl junkie i have more thoughts on this if yer interested, but at the moment: why get a job where you have to sacrifice yer life? at the moment i work at a place that i was at all the time anyway... get a job you enjoy, or atleast with people you enjoy... i can never understand why people get these jobs filing papers and typing and shit all day... yeah, it may promise financial security, but you spend years and years of your life doing something you really don't enjoy... get a job y0ou enjoy, and put your life before your work... I definately agree with you on this. That's the main reason I'm going to college, is so I'll have the option to do what I want, and pursue my interests when I "step out" in the real world. Peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 Originally posted by vinyl junkie get a job you enjoy, or atleast with people you enjoy... i can never understand why people get these jobs filing papers and typing and shit all day... yeah, it may promise financial security, but you spend years and years of your life doing something you really don't enjoy... get a job y0ou enjoy, and put your life before your work... indeedy! i have a job i love, and i know it will be around for a long time to come but if it isnt ...who cares? im not married i dont support anyone i live the way i want and i must tell you it is bliss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted April 11, 2002 Author Share Posted April 11, 2002 Thanks for your feedback... I appreciate hearing everyone's thoughts and comments. I think my main problem is that I live in the past. I think I may need to see a counselor or something eventually. Sometimes I just sit back and think about when I was a kid... and like Christmas time with my parents and relatives. Times that will never again be. Nothing can bring them back. I had a dream a few weeks ago. I was at my old house where I haven't lived in years. My dad was in the backyard, god he looked so young, like I remember him when I was a kid, and he was smiling, like he was expecting me. I broke down in tears. He gave me a hug as I was crying and said to me, "It's alright, your mother and I are growing old, it's part of life." I don't know. I can't think about this shit anymore tonight. I'm going to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted April 11, 2002 Author Share Posted April 11, 2002 I guess to sum it up: I'm not afraid of dying. But I'm terrified about losing those that I love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinyl junkie Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 absolutely when... plus, you've got the added bonus of being in a job that you can keep doing until yer all old and decrepit... and fugazi- good move... i'm a little manic depressive, and the depression lasts much longer than the mania, so i totally understand what yer saying... i spent a lot of time worrying about what i would do for a living... there's the stuff i like to do, that's really unreliable as far as money goes, and there's the stuff i hate that will keep me rich forever... finally i had a friend who's a good deal older than me say: "fuck it... do what you like. we live in america, do you know how hard it is to starve here?" i've never worried about it since. even if i get old living in a tiny little apartment, eating 10 cent ramen, atleast i'll be happy... and as far as the food thing goes (it was kinda said as a joke...) after doing doing a little traveling, and a lot of couch-surfing, i know this is true too... :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinyl junkie Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 didn't see yer post under when, fugazi... i had never had anyone i really knew die until a few years ago, then in the last year or two i've had about 15 friends and family die... it sucked, but you learn to deal... really... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 death isnt a pretty picture but hey whata ya gonna do? its a part of life everyone does sooner or later ive had a few friends die due to suicide or other things and for the time it was sad but if you dwell on it it just makes things worse and trust me vinyljunkie i will be doing my job i do right now until i die or get all my limbs cut off in a freak accident Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest unoprimero Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 depression bites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A Fire Inside Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 Originally posted by Fugazi It feels like life goes so fast. I think my main problem is that I live in the past. I can feel where you're coming from... Life does go by way too fast, and it get's difficult to enjoy it when job's and the such get in the way. I used to live in the past a lot, and I still do (not as much now though..i guess.) Anyways, I was thinking just the other day how "good" my life was. I work, when I'm not working I'm painting, and when I'm not painting I'm usually with a good friend. Of course at all time's, things COULD be better, but I'm not one to complain about my situation, because I know I have it good. It's a nice routine I've fallen into the past couple months. My Mother keeps bringing up college and getting a job that will lead somewhere instead of my dead end job. I'm not a fan of change, or new situations, so I suppose that's my main reason for not going to college yet (if ever.) I think I'm straying away from the subject so I'll stop... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tofu Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 You need to give your heart to Jesus. If you do, when you leave this world you will be rewarded with eternal paradise with him in Heaven. Riiiiiiiiiiight. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stoney Blaze Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 Originally posted by Tofu You need to give your heart to Jesus. If you do, when you leave this world you will be rewarded with eternal paradise with him in Heaven. Riiiiiiiiiiight. :rolleyes: As an atheist I can relate to the philosophy of Christ through reason rather than a religious aspect. Ultimately the practice of such philosophy becomes religious, which makes me rethink my position on the existance of a supreme reason or God. If you read the book thouroughly, you'll find that Christ's main intent was to create heaven on earth so you will not be left unsatisfied or traumatized during life or death. It's a highly intelligent excersize in psychology which considers the truth of our mortality. The 'Bagavad Gita' states: 70)A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires can alone acheive peace, and not the man who strives to satisfy such desires. 71) A person who has given up all desires for sense gratification, who lives free from desires, who has given up all sense of proprietership and is devoid of the false ego--he alone can attain real peace. To sum it up... Boredom IS peace. Enjoy it and create something positive to eleviate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suburbian bum Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 But is peace happyness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stoney Blaze Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 Happiness is not an exstacy. It is the absence of sorrows and anxieties. 66) One who is not connected with the Supreme Conciousness can have neither transcendental intelligence nor a steady mind, without which there is no possibility of peace. And how can there be any happiness without peace? -The Bagavad Gita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKINMASTR Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 first of all you need to lighten up!!!!!You cant control everything and everything changes so dwelling in it is pretty useless.....being depressed is a growing up thing at the age of 20 you are becoming aware of what matters to you and if you put negative energy into it thats all you'll get.It's not easy to think and do postive about so many bad things but you need to keep that head up and stay up or you'll be waisting or only chance at living it up.....just think whats your alternative besides life....just my thoughts peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REGULATOR Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 what are you talking about.....LIFE FUCKIN SUCKS im 16, i never go out, i cant live my life to the fullest, i lost ALL my parents trust, im not very bright, i dont have many friends, im weak. each day for me is painful, i go to school and sit back and watch as all these fuckin lucky ass kids get to have fun and be fuckin teenagers, i watch people become something, i watch people who have their life set, their priorities set, more than i could ever ask for.....yes, i do contemplate suicide, and if there was an easy way to kill myself, i would. 90% of all this pain and depression falls on my parents shoulders....i try to explain to them that my life is depressing, they dont realize shit and think the only thing i should worry about is my school and that friends, fun, and being social are not important. fuck life, and fuck all you lucky happy people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
test pattern Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 Life, what a joke. Just take a walk every now and then and just find a girl that makes you happy. I love my girlfriend. She makes me forget everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest greedy mars Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 Originally posted by REGULATOR what are you talking about.....LIFE FUCKIN SUCKS im 16, i never go out, i cant live my life to the fullest, i lost ALL my parents trust, im not very bright, i dont have many friends, im weak. each day for me is painful, i go to school and sit back and watch as all these fuckin lucky ass kids get to have fun and be fuckin teenagers, i watch people become something, i watch people who have their life set, their priorities set, more than i could ever ask for.....yes, i do contemplate suicide, and if there was an easy way to kill myself, i would. 90% of all this pain and depression falls on my parents shoulders....i try to explain to them that my life is depressing, they dont realize shit and think the only thing i should worry about is my school and that friends, fun, and being social are not important. fuck life, and fuck all you lucky happy people sounds sorta like me.... fuck life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 Originally posted by Fugazi It feels like life goes so fast. be thankful to be alive...ya know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REGULATOR Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 Originally posted by test pattern Life, what a joke. Just take a walk every now and then and just find a girl that makes you happy. I love my girlfriend. She makes me forget everything. not having a girl is also something that is fuckin eating at my heart...i find myself fuckin imagining having a girl.....god damn im so depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest greedy mars Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 i havent had a girlfriend since i was 6 and had my babysitter over fuck life. i hate my life. die .. why cant i have a girlfriend... dam. life blows.fucking hit me with a car Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the shitz Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 ah life well thats something i have no experiance at except dont slip in mud during school and never be happy. my mauto never get ur hopes up or be happy so u have nothing to compare sadness too. were lucky my friend she cant even have a boyfriend today her dad read through all her emails and found out she has one out in lancaster so he banned her from the net she is not even allowed to use it at school.i started cracking up. i had to find it funny cuz we used to go out. ah what u gonna do. just laugh and laugh he once was a thug from around the world Bitch shut the fuk up ay dre give me a funky ass baseline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the shitz Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REGULATOR Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 Originally posted by greedy mars i havent had a girlfriend since i was 6 and had my babysitter over fuck life. i hate my life. die .. why cant i have a girlfriend... dam. life blows.fucking hit me with a car ahhaah i also had a girlfriend when i was 6, she was a family friend and we used to hide in the closet and bite eachother haahahhaahah, now shes 16 but we dont even look at eachother...its sorta weird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cracked Ass Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 Heh...living in the past at age 20? Feeling trapped and over and done with at age 20? Gimme a break. Although at the same time I can relate to that, I did a little of the same thing. Just keep your options open, and move in a direction YOU want. If you'd feel tied down by a family or job, don't get married, and don't get the job. Enjoy life. I have almost 10 years on you and I'm doing my thing, and people are telling me they envy being this young. Let go of the past, enjoy the present, create the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 Originally posted by REGULATOR not having a girl is also something that is fuckin eating at my heart...i find myself fuckin imagining having a girl.....god damn im so depressed. she will only make you more depressed so dont sweat it at your age i wasnt thinking about a girlfriend do what i did and just hook up with girls and the like make friendships not relationships it think it is better than having a full on relationship now that im older i have come to have a few girlfriends but its much easier cause you are more equipped in life to deal with the shit that comes with them remember girls are the root of all evil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKINMASTR Posted April 12, 2002 Share Posted April 12, 2002 Originally posted by Cracked Ass Heh...living in the past at age 20? Feeling trapped and over and done with at age 20? Gimme a break. Although at the same time I can relate to that, I did a little of the same thing. Just keep your options open, and move in a direction YOU want. If you'd feel tied down by a family or job, don't get married, and don't get the job. Enjoy life. I have almost 10 years on you and I'm doing my thing, and people are telling me they envy being this young. Let go of the past, enjoy the present, create the future. easier said then done but anything worth while takes time....right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.