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A Fire Inside

Funny things at work.

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"Hi honey, how was your day?"

Fine.

"Anything interesting happen at work?"

 

Weeelllll, I was stocking shelves when a man came up and asked me for one of my empty boxes. Of course I have no need for it anymore, so I gave it to him. He then tell's me he's going to "chop up my kid's and put them in here." While saying this he makes motions with his hands. Then he realizes what he said (I guess) and says, "No no, I'm just joking..I'm a lover. A lover of all people, especially women!" In which he start's making a humping motion while smiling and then walks away.

 

 

 

Any interesting people come into your work and say/do odd things?

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Guest SerialRapisT

Yo

 

I once had a person at my work say they were a psychic and told me all these things about my life that only I knew about... that was freaky but kewl cause she wasnt one of those future ones that tell ya when your goin ta die... or she didnt want to disappoint me with the fact that I am goin ta live past 80 :D

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shit i work at a star bucks so i just spend the day melting cups with the steamers.... shit is like abstract art or somethin, the wierdest person i ever saw was a GIANT retard that just started throwing money at me for no reason then got a drink of water from the pitchers on the condement bar and left..... other than that i get grade a florida fresh graves that come in.... such a boring job....

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Guest NoamChomsky

Where to begin...

 

At an old workplace of mine,there was this guy who came 3 times a week to eat.He always bought the most expensive food and he always had new shopping bags full of expensive art books(new ones every time).He looked homeless and he only dressed in clothes with the superman logo on them,from head to toe.I talked to him a couple of times he came off as mentally retarded but i saw his ID one time when he was paying by check and his picture showed a very dapper man with a suit on and neat hair and very alert eyes.I guess he broke down or he was on some Howard Hughes type shit.

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Guest ctrl+alt+del

i need a job, any suggestions? i have no skills and no employment history and if you hire me, i will most likely steal company supplies.

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Guest NoamChomsky

We may have a position for you...Ever thought about being the president.

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Guest ctrl+alt+del
Originally posted by NoamChomsky

We may have a position for you...Ever thought about being the president.

 

 

hahahahaha that was very good. ill see if my daddy will fill out an application for me, and then talk to some of his old friends that can get me in.

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Guest NoamChomsky

The dude is not home/I took your rug mr.lebowski/i guess we can close the book on that one/Is everything a fuckin travesty with you man?/Yes we can go to In and Out Burger/

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i used to work at mcdonalds , where all kinds of freaks came in , including this one guy who would always ask for a coffee , and swear to god that one of the managers who wasnt there said that its free last time he was in , we gave him the old FU and banned him , we had power trips .

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Guest willy.wonka

the morning after 2001 new years....

 

i worked in a mall in vegas...this little midget comes in all stoned and stoked...he was luaghin and i had big hair and we got along well..i threw him a shaka (known to dumbasses as the "hangloose/kawabunga hand sign" or the deaf peoples "Y") and he was even more stoked!!we were luaghin some more and basically chillin..coolest weeman i had ever met...then this tall beautiful big boobed nice ass blonde comes in and takes him by the hand...he motioned to me that that was his girl and how lucky he is to have her....that tripped me out...i was happy for him.he was happy that i was happy....damn that guy was cool.

 

other places i would hop over the counter with a knife sharpener tellin the punk, "who tried to make me look like your regular ARBY'S fool by swingin at me for not givin him free fries, COME ON!COME ON! i chased many people out of my arby's...fuck,i was a hero!!

even my manager was cool with it...

when she found out that i was smokin weed in the back room...

her:"you're smokin weed back here?!"

me:"i do it all the time."

workin a etto arbys job in the ghetto...besides the work and annoying people comin in...its pretty fun.

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Re: the morning after 2001 new years....

 

Originally posted by willy.wonka

i worked in a mall in vegas...this little midget comes in all stoned and stoked

 

if you start a story like that it has to be good.

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Guest willy.wonka

little midget stoned and stoked

 

Originally posted by Samsara

 

if you start a story like that it has to be good.

believe me...it was better tale than i could tell....just a cool fuckin weeman...stoned and stoked...as was i.

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I had a customer fart in one of the refrigeration tanks at work and tell me that he was doing us a favor by "feeding" the plants...

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being a bike messenger, i get to see plenty of interesting crackheads. they all want to come kick with us, and carry their conversations with us or themselves. i think crackheads and freaks are attracted to us. we would see them up the block, then all of a sudden they are there with us. it gets old really fast.

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This is off the subject but any guesses to what Velveeta is made of? Im eating some that has to be at least 2 yeas old and its still fresh..

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um i dunno. i laughed when this buff kid, jeremy told me, "eh brahh this weekend i fucked 8 bitches!" while flexing his muscles and trying to fake a newyork accent. I fuckin hate that kid. other than that my work isnt that funny. i draw for a living. so umm yeah. whiteout and ink. and sex. anal sex. with latina women.

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i have 2 jobs... at the first(at a club): an underage kid trying to leave his 40 as collateral (we don't allow any alcohol in the club)... when we wouldn't give it back he tried to take it back by force... he got a good old fashioned ass-kicking...

seeing people start fights with people they obviously can't take... that's always amusing...

watching people get really drunk and vomit on them selves, or, the one really entertaining time, watching them get really drunk and then vomit on their girlfriend while they're making out, and then still making out...

 

job 2 (tattoo shop): watching people pass out/vomit/piss/shit... these people suck.

gluing quarters to the sidewalk and watching the bums try to pick them up... also playing the poo-dollar game...

seeing the bgg, buff, varsity jock make fun of his girlfriend because she's complaining that the tattoo hurts, and then when he get's tattooed he passes out and pisses himself, then when he wakes up, he stands up, takes two steps, and his legs give out, he falls again, into his own urine puddle, and cracks his head open, and has to be picked up in an ambulance...

 

good times :lol:

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i think my shop makes up the interesting/entertaining part of our little business complex cause were always up to something.

- peeing in the neighbors airconditioner

- fruit golfing

- having random cholos do 3wheel donuts in the parking lot

- shooting the dumpster with potato guns

- dragging people on crates by cars around the parking lot

- getting piss drunk and wandering around bugging people

 

fun fun

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