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Taking a shit stories


E-DubleSkilZ

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Originally posted by oner

whoa there! we got ourselves a winner!

 

yes that story is true cause if anyone hasnt figured it out it happened to me :o i wasnt sure if i should post the story or not but i figured what the hell right? alot worse stuff has been on this board

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Way back when I was in high school (in the '60s) I knew of a guy who was very smart and also a real troublemaker at school. He wasn't too big, but he was a ferocious fighter when he got pissed off. To explain what kind of guy he was, he collected butterflies and did chemistry experiments at home just to see if he could get shit to work. His parents used to give him chemistry equipment (beakers, stills, coils, etc.) as birthday and Christmas presents. Anyway, it wasn't long before he graduated from making disappearing ink and stink bombs to producing stuff like mercury fulminate or potassium perchlorate (these are both awesome dangerous explosives.)

People said that he got in trouble with the phone company for something or other (making illegal long distance phone calls or something like that) and decided he had a grudge against them. I heard a rumor that he built a giant firecracker out of a toilet paper tube inside of a piece of cardboard shipping tube full of shit that he saved, and set it off with a homemade timer in a bank of phone booths.

A five pound shit bomb--Boom!...(SPLAT.)

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remember those little tubs that your mother bathes you in when you were still young? well i took a poop and ate it myself...of course, i have no recollection of this ... my mother told me...till this day...i wonder if that's why i have that funny taste in my mouth.

 

speaking of taking a shit i have to take one in a few minutes.

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ahahahahahahah swif you ate your own poop....

 

when i was about 4 or 5 i was taking a bath in the tub with my younger brother, who was like 2....anyways, he took a poop in the water and we sat in the tub for like 10 minutes with the turd before my mom came back into the room to check on us

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  • 1 month later...

True story from my friend we call INDE 500...

 

I intoduce him to this girl i had already boned. So he tells her to come over. They start fuckin. He then hits it doggystyle. Next thing he knows she shits on his dick on accident. Like sorry i didnt mean to. LOL... we made fun of him for days after that..

 

And her name was poopsy from then on..

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Guest SPLINTER

i once took a shit in a kmart urinal back when i was like 6 or 7. i wanted to shit real bad but there was only one toilet and there was some guy in there for like half an hour and i kept telling him to hurry up but he kept telling me to shut up so i kept leaving and coming back. i expected this big football player looking guy to be taking a half our shit so i was scared. it finally got to where i couldnt hold it so i shit in the urinal and wiped my ass with the paper towels. when the guy was about to step out the stall i hid behind the trashcan (ashamed of my actions) only to witness a midget exiting the stall. im not sure why but it makes me laguh to think he prolly shit half his body wieght if he was inthere so long.

 

at the same kmart probably a year later i need to take a piss but the urinal didnt work confused: so i had to wait till the guy finished cleaning the toilet. once he came out i saw that is was the same guy that always kicked me out of the store (just an escort to the front of the store) when i would play with all the toys in the store (i was poor, couldnt afford to take em home) so he yells "you better no dirty it, it took me long enuff to clean it!" so preceeded to take my revenge for the sadness he caused in the past and pissed on everything and anything. it felt good.:

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Originally posted by SPLINTER

he yells "you better no dirty it, it took me long enuff to clean it!" so preceeded to take my revenge for the sadness he caused in the past and pissed on everything and anything. it felt good.:

:lol:

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Guest uncle-boy
Originally posted by WhenOne

so after this closet piss did he come out of the closet?

ah hahahaa ha... sigh, sorry

 

he was out side the closet pissing into the closet. well, apparantly it was more of a "tinkle"....

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  • 2 months later...

Friends suck

 

Well i was spending a night at a friends house, and i had to poop. So i go take a shit.. (they knew i was gonna) and im in there for a good 5 mins.. and my friends bathroom doesnt have a lock, so im in there right?, and my friend just got a Video Camra, so him and another kid decide to barge in and video tape me shitting.. and they even got my penis on tape.. (they were shocked it was bigger then they expected) the worst/ best part of it was like a week later when they showed the video tape to a bunch of girls that we go to school with.. and they all the girls sat on me to hold me down (fun fun)... and they all saw my penis :D

 

go me go me

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Oh yeah another one

 

My friend likes to fuck around with his neighbor, we call him "papa fruits" right. SO my friend gets the idea for me to shit in a bag, and throw it into his garden. So i shit in a bag (dam that was hard) and my friend hurled it into his garden.. when he found it he threw it back and it landed in my friends pool.. funn

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so i used to work at Old country buffet like 3 years ago, one day i get the shits and i need to drop a good one, so i go into the handicapped stall cuz it's the only one available, the lock on this thing is terrible, that's when i hear the whole fucking little leage football team run into the bathroom, 5 fucking kids hit the stall door, and since it was the handicapped stall, the door is a mile away from the john, and break it open, i try to cover myself from these 8 year old delinquents, when one of them yells "this guys taking a shit", they all start to laugh and run out to tell the whole world, the whole night i stayed in the back, when i told my boss, he laughed at me.

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Guest sagging tit

Re: Oh yeah another one

 

Originally posted by •nakone•

My friend likes to fuck around with his neighbor, we call him "papa fruits" right. SO my friend gets the idea for me to shit in a bag, and throw it into his garden. So i shit in a bag (dam that was hard) and my friend hurled it into his garden.. when he found it he threw it back and it landed in my friends pool.. funn

what a shitty story! if it can even be called that..ughhh, just nasty

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my friend has this crazy neighbor who on on meth and collects garbage(sully). one day sully wanders into my friends backyard and picks up his naked three year old brother and starts walking off. after his mom called the cops, my friend took a shit on the hood of his car, then spraypainted "twat" along both sides.

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Originally posted by VANDALISTIKO

so i used to work at Old country buffet like 3 years ago, one day i get the shits and i need to drop a good one, so i go into the handicapped stall cuz it's the only one available, the lock on this thing is terrible, that's when i hear the whole fucking little leage football team run into the bathroom, 5 fucking kids hit the stall door, and since it was the handicapped stall, the door is a mile away from the john, and break it open, i try to cover myself from these 8 year old delinquents, when one of them yells "this guys taking a shit", they all start to laugh and run out to tell the whole world, the whole night i stayed in the back, when i told my boss, he laughed at me.

 

 

LOL - thats pretty funny - Id be bright red in the face

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food lion confusion!

 

ok i got a new one that happened just the other day... me and my friends were at food lion getting food and suplies for the warped tour the other day when all of a sudden i got that feeling that i had to shit BAD! so im like "oh shit! be right back!" so i kinda power walk to the nearest employee (powerwalking cause thats the fastest way to walk and hold your butt cheeks together at the same time) so im like "dude wheres your bathroom?" and he explains that there isnt a public restroom in the store only an employee one in the back, but he said i could use it. so he gives me directions to the bathroom, the whole time sweating and getting dizzy cause i cant hold it anymore, so i get the directions and power walk through these doors to get to the back and im in a labrynth or stockrooms and shit, but i still cant find the bathroom. so im determined there is no bathroom cause i checked every door, so i walk in this freezer thing and just let go, the whole time kinda leaning on the door so no one walks in on me. so its cold as shit and im taking a shit in a freezer in food lion and what do ya know? NO t.p. so i search my possabilities either a piece of meat laying on on of the shelfs or the door handle. i chose the door handle. so after doing all this i open the door with this metal rod thing and jet the fuck out of the store and hid in my friends car. he came out to his car with all this food and was just like "where did you go man?" i was like "forgot my wallet in the car" i never heard from it again... SMOOTH CRIMINAL!

~peace~

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i was at a party one time

hell drunk

took a dump forgot to lock the door

then this girl walked in and was like haha woooppss!

then she was like thats dirty n got in this big argument with her torking bout shits

my best argument was like, thats dirty ? so u dont shit ? its fukn natural u dumb whore

 

in the end we started making out :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

www.ratemypoo.com :p

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  • 3 years later...

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