cherriemagik Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 oh my god im fucking dying here, this shit is fucking hysterical keep it coming... ahahhaahhahahahahaha specially el mamerro's...thought it was cockroach but it was a happy little shit aaaah fucking hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-DubleSkilZ Posted March 14, 2002 Author Share Posted March 14, 2002 i remember like in 93-94 fate from msk took a shit at a yard and wipped it all over these dudes pieces he didnt like. or that was the story that was going around. anyone ever have explosive diahrhea. Like when it hurts real bad. U run to the bathroom and by the time your pants drop it just explodes.Ive heard u can hit walls with this stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High Priest Posted March 19, 2002 Share Posted March 19, 2002 Originally posted by TonySuprano i remember like in 93-94 fate from msk took a shit at a yard and wipped it all over these dudes pieces he didnt like. or that was the story that was going around. anyone ever have explosive diahrhea. Like when it hurts real bad. U run to the bathroom and by the time your pants drop it just explodes.Ive heard u can hit walls with this stuff Im pretty sure the fate things true, garf from msk's younger brother told me about that shit happening..heh. As far as explosive diarhhea ive battled this beast a many a times south of the border... and never won. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted March 19, 2002 Share Posted March 19, 2002 hahaha...these are fuckin hilarious... This one time me and aor(rip) went out painting and were cruisin around dc and shit on 95 just lookin around and he mentions that he has to shit, so im all lookin for a place to pull off and let him shit and we pull in this seven eleven off 95 and he goes in there and the guy wont let him use the shitter, i guess it was only for employees, so he comes back out and is like, gimme a min, he runs around back, comes back like three minautes later with this old donut box and is like get in the car, turns around and just throws the box at the window, shit spewed out of it on to the windows..like huge turds splattered all over.. i couldnt believe my eyes....i dont think i have ever laughed that hard..i dont think the owner even noticed too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REGULATOR Posted March 19, 2002 Share Posted March 19, 2002 one day a little chinese friend of mine comes over to my house to chill, and decides he needs to take a shit. so he goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later he walks up to me hella quietly and is like "yo man, i clogged your fuckin tiolet" i hand him some shish kabob sticks and tell him to try and make it un clogged. the original intention of the shish kabob sticks was to slice up the shit into little peices and make it go down the tiolet easier. well he misunderstands and fishes out the big ass turd, and puts it into a plastic bag. he then walks around the house with his bag of shit, and its dripping over my floor, i tell him to take it outside and dump it on the street. as hes walking out the door my mom spots him and asks him whats in the bag. my friend bluntly replies "its a present" and proceeds to take it outside were he dumps on the seat of a BMW motorcycle. when my mom later found out that he was carrying his poop outside she nearly passed out. another story- one day im riding the bus down a main street, just looking out the window for tags and shit, and as the bus drives by the post office, there is a nicely dresssed middle aged black women, pants rolled down her ankles, crouching and straight taking a shit on the side of the post office. i could see the turds hitting the ground. it was pretty weird...SF is fucked up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REGULATOR Posted March 19, 2002 Share Posted March 19, 2002 Re: Old story... copy/paste . After 3 hours cleaning her shit she left still embarrased without watching the end of the movie, and thinking about it, it was the perfect opportunity to bust out an "It's alright, babe, don't you worry about it" deal and hit that azzum. Ugh, so wack, so wack. Beer, El Mamerro [/b] beer- dont worry babe, (start to hug her and give her the idea you want to hit it) chick- (almost in tears) im so embarrassed, im not in the mood right now beer- how could you be embarrased when you have these (grab her titties, pull her pants down, and go to work) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tow up from tha flow up ! Posted March 19, 2002 Share Posted March 19, 2002 My brother convinced me to eat a dog turd when I was like 5. He told me it was magical and would taste like anything I wanted it to. :D I don't even really remember the turd being that gross but he blackmailed me with it for like a year, threatening to tell people I ate dog poo if I didn't get him a glass of kool-aid or some shit. grrr. That sucked. A friend of mine boinked this girl and she shit all over him. They weren't even doing it in the butt or anything.. Just normal sex, and she pooped. Like not even runny shit.. she just laid out a big ol turd. Then she was like "do you smell that?" and he was like "uuugh.. what is that?" and he turned on the lights. He said he went soft and she started acting pissed off at him so he tried to make some light out of the situation by saying "I told my friends I wanted to fuck the shit out of you, but I never imagined it would've turned out like this!" and she just got up and left without saying anything. haha how's that for awkward silence? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REGULATOR Posted March 19, 2002 Share Posted March 19, 2002 Originally posted by towUP My brother convinced me to eat a dog turd when I was like 5. He told me it was magical and would taste like anything I wanted it to. :D I don't even really remember the turd being that gross but he blackmailed me with it for like a year, threatening to tell people I ate dog poo if I didn't get him a glass of kool-aid or some shit. grrr. That sucked. A friend of mine boinked this girl and she shit all over him. They weren't even doing it in the butt or anything.. Just normal sex, and she pooped. Like not even runny shit.. she just laid out a big ol turd. Then she was like "do you smell that?" and he was like "uuugh.. what is that?" and he turned on the lights. He said he went soft and she started acting pissed off at him so he tried to make some light out of the situation by saying "I told my friends I wanted to fuck the shit out of you, but I never imagined it would've turned out like this!" and she just got up and left without saying anything. haha how's that for awkward silence? hahahaha you ate shit....hahahahaha..but god damn, i could be fuckin the finest girl in the world, but if she lays the magic egg when we are banding, its over Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GorbortOrman Posted March 19, 2002 Share Posted March 19, 2002 I live a few blocks away from this skatepark which is pretty popular. One day this homeless dude that romes the area in a wheel chair decided to dump his colostomy bags right thwre everyone skates. It was so sick. It was diarhea and there was 3 huge pies of it just chillin. It stunk so bad it was nasty as fuck. Another time, some friends and I took a trip to seattle. We were at the bellevue mall and we all went into the bathroom. there was 4 of us. One of my friends stayed outside and the 3 of us went in. We started filling up the sinks with hot water and pouring handsome in the sinks to make mass amounts of bubbles whole one of my friends were in one of the stalls taking a shit. We were laughing the wholetime. after we were done being in the bathroom and causing ruckus we were all leaving and my friend that was taking a shit in the bathroom told us to look down, there lying on rhe floor was one of the nastiest shits i have ever seen, it was 3 different colors, all sectioned. right as the 3 of us were walking out of the bathroom, this secuirty guy walks and we were stilll laughing and we watched him come back out of the bathroom, immdeiatly getting on his radio for more security. These guys followed us arounf the whole mall for like an hour and we still racked shit. fun times... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REGULATOR Posted March 23, 2002 Share Posted March 23, 2002 haha naw it was the post office on geary and fillmore....you do see alot of crazy disgusting shit in SF...in that geso article he said that you always see people fuckin in Sf...like as in homeless man fuckin 20 dollar crack hoe behind SOMA dumpster fuckin though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dukeofyork Posted March 23, 2002 Share Posted March 23, 2002 allllll riiiiiiiiiight.... a thread i can bless. one of my friends when he goes bombin, used to get a queasy stomach and would always be takin a shit right before he busted his outline. hence his selfproclaimed nickname....roofpoops. this other kid when i was in college lived on my floor. he was pledging a fraternity. kid got so trashed at a party that he had to puke. he went upstairs and couldnt make up his mind as to which was more important, puking or shitting. in the midst of his struggle he lost consciousness. laying on the floor, he puked and shit all over himself, but most demeaning was that he rolled around and got shit ON HIS FUCKING FOREHEAD. hence why we called him shithead. and his pledge class president called up my roommates radio show and told everyone in the city. i hated shithead anyway. fucker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-DubleSkilZ Posted March 26, 2002 Author Share Posted March 26, 2002 Bump Bump More Stories Please rotflmao lol all that shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest willy.wonka Posted March 26, 2002 Share Posted March 26, 2002 Originally posted by towUP My brother convinced me to eat a dog turd when I was like 5. He told me it was magical and would taste like anything I wanted it to. :D she just laid out a big ol turd. Then she was like "do you smell that?" and he was like "uuugh.. what is that?" and he turned on the lights. He said he went soft and she started acting pissed off at him so he tried to make some light out of the situation by saying "I told my friends I wanted to fuck the shit out of you, but I never imagined it would've turned out like this!" and she just got up and left without saying anything. haha how's that for awkward silence? hahahahaha best story i have ever heard.... honey?..do you smell that? uuuuugh,what is that? "psycho music kicks in" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppa.k Posted March 26, 2002 Share Posted March 26, 2002 this buddy of mine has a serious shit fetish so i'll let you in on a few stories... he loves shitting in public places and loves the peoples reactions to it even more.. he was about 11 years old and it was his brothers birthday. he proceeds to shit on a plate, molds it and covers it with chocolate icing. he invites his bro up into his bedroom closet cuz he doesn't want to let his mom know whats goin on, and bring a knife and fork. happy birthday bro, i made you a cake dig in!! he didn't quite wait long enough because it was still a little too soft and stanky so when his bro brought it up to his mouth to grab a bite he could smell it. his mom was pissed because she had to throw out an entire place setting.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppa.k Posted March 26, 2002 Share Posted March 26, 2002 there used to be this kid in the area everyone picked on and my buddy terrorized him and his entire family with shit. we went camping one weekend and brought this stuttering kid with us. just when everyone is at the peak of wastedness, and stuttering chris is passed out, my buddy takes the dudes hat, takes a huge dump in it and proceeds to put it back on his head backwards over his face. he wakes up gasping for air, because he's got a log blocking his breathing paths, jumps up and starts taking all his clothes off. what he didn't realize was that when he was doing so, he was rubbing all the shit all over his body. so now he's naked and covered in shit and just takes off. we didn't see him again till we were back in the city. it ended up that a cop picked him up on a backroad all nekid and covered. he took him back to the station, cleaned him up, gave him some prison garb and sent him home on a bus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BROWNer Posted March 26, 2002 Share Posted March 26, 2002 wow, bigpoppa with a lesson in scarring someone for life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppa.k Posted March 26, 2002 Share Posted March 26, 2002 so we're on our way back from work one night.. we're catching the subway home, and recka turns to my buddy and says "Yo *****, I'll give you a buck if you hop down on the tracks and drop one".. buddy looks around, evaluates the situation, turns to me and asks if i'm in. "sure, i'll throw in a buck too". so he looks around for another couple seconds, some a couple breathing excersises and says "yeah alright". there's probably about 30 people on the platform, and we were at the front, with what appeared to be no trains coming yet. he hops down on the tracks, drops his pants, squats.. and then we hear the train. we start yelling at him to get his ass in gear (no pun indended), and we see the lights. the train busts into the station just as he's pulling up his pants. train is blowin his horn like mad now so he bolts into the tunnel where he can just walk back up onto the platform. me and recka are laughing histericaly at this point. people on the platform are just freaked right out at this point, so we get the hell to the escalator and get the fuck outta there. we get up on to street level and he turns to us and says "gimme my 2 bucks i need a hot dog", with a sly smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jah Posted March 27, 2002 Share Posted March 27, 2002 my friend took a shit in the ice chest at a hotel once Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eager Salamander Posted March 27, 2002 Share Posted March 27, 2002 sittin in rush hour traffic sweatin and shit,,, gettin dizzy cuz you wanna shit so bad and having to hold it.... then the waddle to the damn mcdonalds on some pokin out turtles heads..... sucks dick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-DubleSkilZ Posted April 5, 2002 Author Share Posted April 5, 2002 Nah the worst is when your sitting in your car..and u feel it in your stomach. Like those pains when u know its some diahrhea.. Then u feel like your guuna burst when u run into a bathroom and it just shoots everywhere. I have this half hour rule if im drunk the night before. The next day as soon as i eat..I Shit within a half an hour. Usually sooner. So i try to stay near a bathroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SHELLTOES Posted April 5, 2002 Share Posted April 5, 2002 HERES A COUPLE TAME ONES COMPARED TO THE REST...... 1.I WAS LITTLE AND MY SIS WAS STILL IN DIAPERS, MY MOTHER YELLS SHELLTOES! IWAS LIKE WHAT? MY LITTLE SISTER HAD A LEGO IN HER SHIT. "I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE YOUR TOYS AROUND". 2. MY BUDDY SHIT IN A BAG AND THREW IT ON MY OLD NEIGHBOR'S ROOF. WE FELT BAD AND TRIED TO GET IT DOWN, HE SAW US AND TRIED TO HELP. HE WAS SAYING THANX FOR GETTING THE BAG DOWN. WE GOT THE BAG OUT OF HIS SIGHT BEFORE HE COULD SMELL IT.HE NEVER KNEW IT WAS US. NOT AS GOOD AS THE REST BUT WAS FUNNY TO ME. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~KRYLON2~ Posted April 5, 2002 Share Posted April 5, 2002 i was at a party and some one was in the washroom....so i juss went in there parents closet and wiped it on a tie it was funny as fuck becuz the kid called everyone that went and asked who mite have done it because his mom found it....and i didnt wipe with a tie it was his moms wedding dress but it these long stripes of fabric that felt like a neck tie.....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-DubleSkilZ Posted April 10, 2002 Author Share Posted April 10, 2002 i hate when people are disrespectful at parties. Unless its someones house u dont like. My friend called me after her party and said someone stole the TV. Im like how the fuck did someone steal your tv w/o anyone seing. There were alot of freaken people there and no one saw? thats why i never had parties Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 Almost shit myself in school. I got a mild cause of food poisoning on monday from something in the cafateria and all day I felt like I was going to die running to the bathroom every period to throw up and shit. My mom was working so I had no one to sign me out of school I was stuck there till the end of the day. So it's around 7th period and my stomach is about to exploid It hurt so much the only think that helped was standing up and if I stood up it felt like it was all gonna come out. I ask for the Pass, "No, you use it too much." "It's an emergency." "No." "How about the nurse's pass?" "She's not here today." "Fuck." so I had to hold it the rest of the day, My friend drove me home and We beat the shit out of his 85 cutty whipping around corners so I wouldn't shit in his car. I finally get home and run to the bathroom, drop trou and let it loose. It was a huge fart, it was literally one straight fart for 4 minutes. No shit, it was one of this biggest down sets of my life. I still didn't feel better or shit for the rest of the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REGULATOR Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 Originally posted by ~KRYLON2~ i was at a party and some one was in the washroom....so i juss went in there parents closet and wiped it on a tie it was funny as fuck becuz the kid called everyone that went and asked who mite have done it because his mom found it....and i didnt wipe with a tie it was his moms wedding dress but it these long stripes of fabric that felt like a neck tie.....lol hahahahahah thats fuckin hillarious...i cant imagine the look on her face when she opens the closet, theres a turd on the floor and shit all over her wedding dress hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colour Posted April 11, 2002 Share Posted April 11, 2002 took a shit and like normal i always take a peek after every log. this one turd came out in the shape of a perfectly half pealed banana, only it was brown. it look like it had the same texture of a banana also. this happened when i was a kid... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swif1 Posted April 13, 2002 Share Posted April 13, 2002 last week. i took a shit and my logs were dry (i guess) so when i wiped my arse there was nothing to wipe...except for the lint. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiteboy 516 Posted April 13, 2002 Share Posted April 13, 2002 ON HIS MOMS WEDDING DRESS?? THE KID INVITESs YOU TO HIS PARTY AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO YOU FUCKIN COCKSUCKER BECAUSE YOU THINK YOUR FUNnY?? + Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted April 13, 2002 Share Posted April 13, 2002 umm okay this happen to a uhh friend of mine yea... so my friends truck breaks down so he has to get a rental car he goes to a party and meets a really hot girl he decideds to blow the party and take the chick back to the back seat of the rental, things are going good nakedness occurs and they start fucking like wild dogs. a bit later he tells her hes gonna finish soon she acknowledges the fact and they keep going at it, he tells her again that hes gonna finish in like 2 seconds... just as he is about to cum she shoves something up his ass, he screams in pain as he cums and at the same time shits all over the back seat, i guess if something is up your ass when you cum you instantly shit, well anyways he is freaked out and runs back into the house to clean up, he comes out about 3 minutes later to find the chick rubbing her face in his shit, he proceeds to yell at the chick while she is face deep in his shit, then she runs off down the street shit on face never to be seen by him again note: if he ever does see her again hes gonna yell at that bitch till her ears bleed :heated: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oner Posted April 13, 2002 Share Posted April 13, 2002 whoa there! we got ourselves a winner! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.