E-DubleSkilZ Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 I dont know about you guys but i find taking a shit stories funny as hell. 1. i got a friend known as the poopin bandit becuase he goes in public places. One time he went in the sink at carls jr. He went in came out like 1 minute later and said go into the bathroom. We couldnt believe he did it. We were like what if someone walked in? He said i was going to act like a retard and pretend i didnt know what i was doing. 2. I was at the beach and i went to the bathroom. the same dude walks in , goes in the handicapped bathroom and takes a dump on the floor. 3. One time I was at a yard and i just ate mcdonalds which i never eat. I was like fuck i gotta shit. i went into the bushes took a lime green slimy shit and wipped with my t-shirt. never ate mcy d's again. 4. Way back from vegas we were driving and i was all hungover. this time i ate jack in the crack. there was mad traffic on that road in the middle of nowhere. i was like fuck u guys gotta pull over. i went outside and under this overpass with sand and someplace like none goes. i took a shit that came out bright orange and slimy as hell and whipped with the napkins. it felt kinda good with the cool breeze going under my ass. the poop was so sick i made my friends get out of the car and look at it and we got it on video. anyone else got any stories. i gota go take a shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocalfr8tr Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 Brush with Reptiles i was in krabbi thailand, and i was staying in a bungalow by a river. there was a shit load of wildlife all around our room. so, i was sitting there shittin, trying to kill all the mosquitos who were feverously attacking my ankles and neck, when a huge lizard comes walking across the floor. he squeezed in through a gap in the wall and floor. and actually ran his tail over my foot. i was trippin! he was blue,red,sage green, and yellow. i saw him the next day, but this time he was just chillin on the wall. he was also mostly blue and gray, on this day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kr430n5_666 Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 i drank OK Soda once and it resulted in me shitting and throwing up at the same time at 3:30 in the morning. since i was so young and i was at my cousins house, i didnt know what to do....so i just left the puke all over the floor. when i finally woke up again, everyone was awake and the puke was gone. no one said a word to me. i dont know if they know i did it or not but i felt great. its nice when that shit happens and you never hear about it ever. WHOOPS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fr8lover Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 poopin and wiping with leaves, pooping while drunk in other peoples yards, friends pooping in urinals...all in a day in the life...haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Mang Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 i had a huge bowl of lucky charms one day in one of those tupperware bowls. i'm not used to drinking milk since i hardly ever do, so i got an upset stomach and had green colored diharrea. it was gnarly. magically delicious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kr430n5_666 Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 ^i know what you are saying^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fr8lover Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 i had solid green poop 4 times in a matter of two weeks a couple months ago...what an experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 I'm still on novolexin (an antibiotic) which causes great gasses and nasty shits. It's like I'm farting out poo shrapnel. The bowels rumble... then all goes still... than BLAMO! here comes one now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tue skinny Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 me and my friend ate some pizza in the city. and where skating around for awhile. then we rode the bus hoime. as we were waiting for a ride we kept skating. all the sudden both of us had to take a big shit. dont ask me why but we did. there was an india resturant right nxt to where we were skating, we went in and there was only one stall. i took a shit in the urinal and my friend in the stal. people walked in too wich is the wierd part. we had a line waiting for ten minutes there were like 5 people waiting adn complaing. another time i was walking the tracks with a friend and we came acrros this building with some alleys i had to take a shit so i took one in the corner and had no toilet paper so i took off my sock and wiped iwth that and left the sock there of coure and wrote on the wall. tue skinnys shit and pointed down to it. good times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-DubleSkilZ Posted March 12, 2002 Author Share Posted March 12, 2002 man thats some funny shit. yo i forgot a couple stories i went to egypt and when u come into egypt they give u a piece of paper with all the rules of the country on it so u know what to do and what not to do. I put that in my pocket and i was there like a day or two and then i had to shit really bad. i went into our 5$ a day shack we had and noticed no toilet paper. I look around and guess what. Yup, all i had was that piece of paper with the rules on it. I literally wipped my ass with the rules of the country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-DubleSkilZ Posted March 12, 2002 Author Share Posted March 12, 2002 then when i came back from egypt into isreal me and my friend had to take a bus ride like 1-2 hrs back to the spot. While we were waiting for the bus we both ran into the bathroom. Which u have to give the lady 5 shekles for toilet paper everytime u gotta shit. So we both got diarhea and then went back to wait fot the bus. Then we had to go again, gave the lady 5 sheckles again. We went like 3 or 4 times and had to give the lady money for toilet paper everytime. When i got back to the spot after a grueling bus ride i was shitting and throwing up for like 2 days straight. Dont eat the hotdogs in isreal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 eating a full bag of oreos makes for interesting shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teister Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 once when i was little I went camping with my dad and my brother. They went for a walk somewhere and I had to poop real bad all of a sudden and I couldn't find the men's bathroom and all there was was a women's. I couldn't go in there so I tried to hold it and then I went running looking for my dad. Before I found him though, the shit just popped out, and i had this big old turd in my pants. I had to throw out the whole underwear like a diaper. I was hella embarassed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanity Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 when i was an infant, i at my own, because i thought it was chocolate. when i was in like 2nd grade, i'd wipe it all over the stall walls at school, and not wash my hands just to fuck w/ people. in like 6th grade, i was at the public library, and it closed early that day, so i had to wait outside for 2 hours in the winter.. i went in one of those sand buckets and wiped w/ snow... i then got a ride home w/ a total stranger and stunk up her car hella. 2 years ago, i was walkinbg down the main strip of this city, and i thoughyt i had to fart... turned out as a bit more.... i walked into some restraunt and took off my undies, wiped.. and left commando. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest L.RonHubbard Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 one time when i was in eight grade this kid danny who was and still is a loco motherfucker took a shit in a clear plastic cup at taco bell and then hurled the contents all over this one scrawny kid who everyone used to pick on. the other day i took a huge foot and a half long shit, and the crazy part of the story is that it had a feathery tail!! After a night of heavy drinkin(lotsa steel reserve) we came home to my parents crib and all passed out. One of my friends however didnt make it into the house, he took two steps out of the car and passed out on the driveway. He woke up the next morning with my dad shouting at him to go home, but instead of going home he wandered over to my next door neighbors house in a drunken stupor and rang the doorbell. When the dude answered the door he asked if Joe was home. Joe is the kid whose house we were partyin at the night before , and my neighbor obviously confused at this question, sent my drunken friend away with no hope. When the dude closed the door my boy took a few steps away from the porch and took a giant shit that remained there for quite sometime. Later on when questioned as to why he asked for Joe and my neighbors house, my friend replied "I thought Joe would be nice to me" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest L.RonHubbard Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 I got like 30 of these kinda stories involving extreme dumping and the like, but heres another favorite one night we got completely out of hand while drinking at this preppy kids house. The kid whose house it was retreated to his bedroom for some secret goings on with and underage girl, and us scrubs, jealous that we were gettin none player hated to the maximum. We made helmets out of the loaves of bread on the counter, threw subway subs with southwestern sauce into the ceiling fan, pissed in his dog's bowl and on the floor, and two of my friends took shits in the house plants at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Police Chief Wiggum* Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 man one time i was with my friend cruising, we picked up his brother who sat in the back of the van which was a rental. This fool was lookin crazy, like on crack or some shit. Me and my friend were both pretty fucked up, so we didnt smell shit. We dropped the fool off at his crib then went to return the van at the rental place. The rental guy was with us to check the van, then we opened up the hatch to the back of the van. It was the most disgusting shit i had ever seen. It was mostly brown, but man there was red blood looking liquid all up in it, and chunks of yellowish orange shit mixed up in it. And this wasn't like a single piece, it was like 8 small smushy, pudding like shit. Man me my friend and the rental guy were staring at it for like 10mins. The rental guy had like veins popping out of his head, and my friend like a bitch goes, "yo ****** i told you to clean that mess you made," I was like what the fuck!?!?!? Then the rental guy starts cussing us out in like arabic, or hindu or some shit. Man that fool was mad pissed, he was yelling in his apu accent, "you fucking shit my car" "you shit on seat, ollah help us all" I was like damn nigga its just shit. But yeah, fool charged us $25 extra. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-DubleSkilZ Posted March 13, 2002 Author Share Posted March 13, 2002 ****G**** that made me laugh my ass off. But how did u not know it was back there. i would of smelled it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 Old story... copy/paste My toilet has the awful habit of completely spewing out its contents whenever it gets slightly clogged, mainly because my little brother shits fucking watermelons. So me and this girl are watching a movie at my place, lights out, all chill and whatnot, and she stops the movie to go to the bathroom. So I'm all chill, having no idea my little bro dropped a Lincoln log in there a few hours earlier. I hear the toilet flush, she comes back and cuddles next to me, and I hit Play. About ten minutes afterwards, I notice something black and small crawling in front of the TV. I thought it was a cockroach so I get up to go step on it... but then I realize it's been carried around by a moving puddle of water. I turn the lights on, only to realize the entire living room, hallway and dining room are COMPLETELY flooded, and that what I had thought was a cockroach was indeed a happy little piece of shit. Furthermore, similar pieces of shit were ALL over the place, getting under the sofa and slipping under doors. The best part was that all that shit belonged to the girl, and she was beyond embarrased. She helped me clean the mess up on the verge of bursting in tears, and I understand her cause I was SO pissed... not at her but the whole fucking wackness of the situation. After 3 hours cleaning her shit she left still embarrased without watching the end of the movie, and thinking about it, it was the perfect opportunity to bust out an "It's alright, babe, don't you worry about it" deal and hit that azzum. Ugh, so wack, so wack. Beer, El Mamerro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Soul_On_Ice Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 A friend of mine was drunk at a bar & picked up a chick that was also drunk. They ended up going back to her place. When they got back they started messin around, clothes started coming off etc. The chick got up to go to the bathroom to freshen up, while she was in the bathroom my friend had to release some gaseous fumes. unfortunately while he was lettin out his gas a little more came out. So now he is standing in this girls room naked with a log on her rug. He quickly rolls up the rug, puts it under his arm & grabs his clothes with the other. At that moment the girl walks out of the bathroom so he takes off out the front door. Would you rather be known as the guy who stole some girls rug or the guy who took a shit on some girls rug? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graffsurgeon Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 my boys stepfather murdered his mistress over the weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High Priest Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 I spent a night with a few friends and ate around 3 packs of gummy bears (chewed NONE of them) and drank 4 boxes of different colored food dye. Later that night i took a shit that can only be compared to the Care Bears in Fecal land. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Morris Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 i had a girl tell me about how she ate nothing but blue berry sherbet for a week and had blue poop...I found that to be entertaining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NATO Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 Re: Old story... copy/paste Originally posted by El Mamerro My toilet has the awful habit of completely spewing out its contents whenever it gets slightly clogged, mainly because my little brother shits fucking watermelons. So me and this girl are watching a movie at my place, lights out, all chill and whatnot, and she stops the movie to go to the bathroom. So I'm all chill, having no idea my little bro dropped a Lincoln log in there a few hours earlier. I hear the toilet flush, she comes back and cuddles next to me, and I hit Play. About ten minutes afterwards, I notice something black and small crawling in front of the TV. I thought it was a cockroach so I get up to go step on it... but then I realize it's been carried around by a moving puddle of water. I turn the lights on, only to realize the entire living room, hallway and dining room are COMPLETELY flooded, and that what I had thought was a cockroach was indeed a happy little piece of shit. Furthermore, similar pieces of shit were ALL over the place, getting under the sofa and slipping under doors. The best part was that all that shit belonged to the girl, and she was beyond embarrased. She helped me clean the mess up on the verge of bursting in tears, and I understand her cause I was SO pissed... not at her but the whole fucking wackness of the situation. After 3 hours cleaning her shit she left still embarrased without watching the end of the movie, and thinking about it, it was the perfect opportunity to bust out an "It's alright, babe, don't you worry about it" deal and hit that azzum. Ugh, so wack, so wack. Beer, El Mamerro i honestly would have cried if this had happened to me. you went to stamp on a 'cockroach' ha ha ha :king: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Police Chief Wiggum* Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 Originally posted by TonySuprano ****G**** that made me laugh my ass off. But how did u not know it was back there. i would of smelled it man me and my boy were mad messed up. Youd be suprised what you cant smell when you just had a couple of blunts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graffsurgeon Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 in 3rd grade i had a huge box of blue raspberry blowpops...one day i ate like 15 of them and had the worst stomach ache so i climbed on the shitter and about a minute later i puked up tons of blue gum and shit that looked like shrooms..ahhh my childhood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drutagsalot Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 Originally posted by Vanity when i was an infant, i at my own, because i thought it was chocolate. that is the fukin funyest thing i have ever heard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suburbian bum Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 bump. My sides fucking hurt, i have laughed my ass of constantly throughout this whole thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oner Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 i have a friend who also used to be my roommate before i got married. this guy had a part time job working at a movie theator, and this particular day he was stationed in the snack bar. he has some minor stomache problems, so he had one of those diahrrea attacks where you just can't hold it, and took off to the bathroom. he went in to the first stall, and just unleashed the fury. unfortunately, there was no toilet paper in the stall, so he decides to wipe w/ his underwear. now, i would imagine that most people would throw it away when they were finished, but he, being the undies fiend that he is rolled them up and stuck them in his sock. back at the snack bar, his boss comes around and, after sniffing around for a bit tells him to pour some bleach down the drain, "because it's backed up and smells like shit". then he ate it because he thought it was chocolate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aederone Posted March 13, 2002 Share Posted March 13, 2002 So now he is standing in this girls room naked with a log on her rug. He quickly rolls up the rug, puts it under his arm & grabs his clothes with the other. At that moment the girl walks out of the bathroom so he takes off out the front door. Would you rather be known as the guy who stole some girls rug or the guy who took a shit on some girls rug? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: that made my day. my friend pooed on paper in the mall bathroom and then put it in one of those pay lockers...and he just threw the key out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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