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grimcreeper13

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    DETROIT GRAFFITI

    in Brick Slayers

    Posted

    the harshest reality of life, and one that applies so directly to graffiti, is that real writers and people really do keep the company of their peers, and that they know the difference between peers and fans/talkers.

     

    bump LDs, BRZM, and BTUF

    Anxiety/Panic Attacks

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    spent 15 minutes trying to login just to comment on this thread.

     

    in 2006 my life had taken a pretty bad turn. i was doing alot of ecstacy (nowadays kids try to say that shits "pure" and called "molly" :rolleyes:). at that point i was smoking a fuckload of weed and drinking in excess blah blah. anyways, i ended up ingesting some bad pills, and a wave of anxiety hit me within 30 minutes.

     

    up to this point in my life, i had never known the sheer terror of being scared for no apparent reason at all. i suspected this was a result of the amphetamines, a "bad trip" for lack of a better description, and tried to reassure myself that i would come down and everything would work itself out.

     

    it didnt. i spent the majority of the next week suffering from the most savage bout of insomnia i have ever sxperienced to date. i definitely wasnt still high, something in my brain just snapped. i was stressed financially and in a shitty relationship at the time, and im sure that didnt help. whatever the reason, i fuckin lost it.

     

    i went complete hermit mode for about two weeks. this wasnt just a regular "panic attack", as ive had some of those since and have managed to learn to deal/conquer them. this was an every waking moment terror, coupled with an excessive accelerated heart rate and such a constant nauseous feeling, i couldnt eat.

     

    i lost 15 pounds, thought i was going to die, the whole nine. i didnt leave my apartment. i felt miserable and scared, fearing that i was going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life. i lost my sex drive completely, which for a 21 year old male scared me even more. my first initial thought when i woke up every morning was "is it gone?", and then a wave of anxiety would hit me and continue all day long. i stopped smoking weed, drinking, definitely no more pills, nothing worked. i couldnt even watch violent movies or play video games, thinking that this would somehow trigger more feelings of fear.

     

    finally, after about a month, i had had enough. i went to the hospital thinking i was going to have to commit myself (this did nothing to alleviate my anxiety), and ended up talking to a psychiatrist. he prescribed me paxil and ativan, giving me a huge warning about the addictiveness of the ativan (which made me even more nervous). basically anything negative that "could" potentially happen in my life in this period my mind would almost instantaneously convice itself that it "would" happen, and more anxiety would ensue.

     

    after taking the prescription pills for an extended period of time, i came to the conclusion that the side effects were absolutely horrendous and they did absolutely nothing for me, except further kill my sex drive, and make me feel like i was some sort of mental case. i decided they were of no benefit (for me) and took steps to wean myself off of them. i must stress this though. if any of you are reading this and are experiencing similar feelings as myself (ie the prescription pills arent fucking working, youre sick of the side effects, and you want off) DO NOT JUST STOP TAKING THEM. as was stated earlier, anxiety and depression go hand in hand, and the prescriptions you will most likely be given (at least for depression) will most likely be SSRI's which are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. just immediately stopping taking these can lead to severe suicidal thoughts and even more depression, so consult with your physician if you are already on a prescription and want to get off. i was told it takes weeks to safely get off SSRI's, usually 2 weeks of full dosage, 2 weeks of half dosage, 2 weeks of quarter dosage, and then nothing, but im sure this could vary from individual to individual.

     

    i was hopeless. this neurosis was beginning to affect every part of my daily life. out of desperation, i went and saw a psychologist, BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE. i was given about 3 months of pretty intense therapy. i was provided alot of paperwork and research surrounding anxiety and depression, coping mechanisms and strategies, and ALOT of support. it could be different depending on where youre from, and the type of health care systems your country employs, but this was very pricey at the time, and im sure it hasnt changed in 5+ years. however, it was worth it for me, and talking to someone who is knowledgeable and non judgemental was very benefical. therapists are like women, you gotta find the right one.

     

    i cant begin to provide you with exactly i was given in terms of information and strategies, but i will sum up some things that helped me out greatly when i had anxiety attacks after treatment:

     

    1) realise that the panic attack itself isnt going to kill you. just this single thought alone begins to alleviate some of the fear associated with this. thats always my first step.

     

    2) rate your fear. put a number on it from one to ten when youre having an attack. if youre having a 7, you can bring up past attacks that you rated that were worse and begin to calm yourself down. say to yourself "ok, im freaking out right now, but at least it isnt as bad as last time..."

     

    3) count to 10. fuck it, count to 20. 100 even. sometimes concentrating on something other than your panic attacks (even for a moment) can bring the fear level down. you'd be surprised how effective this is in some cases.

     

    4) if youre experiencing lengthy bouts of paranoia and anxiety and feel nauseous, eat fruit. drink water. a healthy body promotes a healthy mind.

     

    5) sometimes weed works, sometimes it doesnt. ive got a love/hate relationship with marijuana and paranoia. sometimes it cures it, sometimes it causes it for me. find out what works for you. also, depending on where youre at in your life, the effectiveness of weed to cure your anxiety may differ.

     

    6) do your own research and realise you arent alone.

     

    7) exercise!!!

     

    ive pretty much beat anxiety as a whole, but it took in total about a year. thats not to say that i dont still get minor panic attacks, but ive learned to deal with them, and honestly when you find something that works for you in terms of calming yourself down, theyre not such a huge deal.

     

    hopefully this helps someone out.

     

    have a good day yall.

     

    **i want to stress that im not knocking prescription pills as a whole, im saying they didnt work for me. by all means, if you feel like this is a viable solution to your problem, give them a try. just make sure youre responsible with them, or you may just be adding to your problems.

     

    ***be careful with drinking. drinking absolutely killed my anxiety. it worked wonders. i drank myself to bed many nights to kill the neurosis and insomnia. however it was a bandaid solution, and being an alcoholic is arguably worse than being a nervous wreck.

     

    im out.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    This is literally my story exactly ha. almost to a T. Im also overcoming it a little bit at a time and i know that im nearing stability. I feel in control now and it controls my life much less now..

     

    i agree that it comes with the territory. I think as artists and specifically graffiti artists were all searching for something whether we want to admit that to ourselves or not.

     

    Thanks for the insight and I hope anyone else that reads this will feel some relief as well in seeing that people have overcome it to an extent they didnt think possible. Im sure most of you can relate that there was atleast 2 or 3 months where i felt like i would much rather die than live in this dizzying state.

    Anxiety/Panic Attacks

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    unfortunately weed is what broke the flood gates initially. i had never had a panic attack until smoking, and then they just never went away hah. needless to say its not a remedy for me specifically but thats good that it helps somebody haha

    Anxiety/Panic Attacks

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    I'm in my early 20s and have been dealing with bad anxiety/panic attacks for about 6 months now. They started this summer and despite seeing the doctor and being prescribed medications I'm just really not about all it for many reasons. I've changed my lifestyle nearly tenfold... I dont eat sugar, no alcohol, no drugs, only drink water and soy milk etc. It seems to have helped and I can control the panic attacks so its not quite as intense as it was initially but fuck...anyone who's experienced it knows how big of a factor it becomes in everything you do...

     

    i suppose im just creating this thread because im sure its something a lot of you guys deal with also...

     

    anyone ovecome it? without meds?

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