Das Beard

I have had a beard for about 5 years. The curse of the 5:00 shadow is why I grew mine in the first place. If I shaved right now I would have a 5:00 shadow by lunch tomorrow. It's a blessing and a curse. The longest I've let it go is 6 months without trimming the length and it was touching my chest. Made me look like a well dressed homeless man. But the ladies do indeed love it. I even got a bearded lady tattoo on my arm with "mom" underneith to fuck with peoples. (mum says she hates it but secretly loves it) At it's most luxurious that rowdy beast would hold 4 animal crackers in it no problem. As soon as you tried to stash that 5th one in there they would all fall out. I'm trying to get the nerve up to go for the one year monster. We shall see.

Negative Ghostrider, I'm a fat alcoholic asshole that likes stupid shitty dumb jokes. I couldn't get one leg in some skinny jeans. Sorry for fucking up your percentages. I may or may not have googled TPWF. Hint: I did.

Q- Why do elephants have flat feet? A- From jumping out of trees. Q- Why do hippos have flat noses? A- Because they aren't so good at jumping out of trees. I like bullshit jokes. That grass joke is all about the delivery. You gotta sell it hard but it's so worth it.

Q- What's green and has wheels? A- Grass, I lied about the wheels.

[ATTACH]162482.vB[/ATTACH] I made the same sticker 1000 times. I work at a print shop so I fuck around as much as possible. Not the same as you guys though cause I can't really draw worth a shit. Pillz definatly has his shit together though. Looks awesome dude.

[ATTACH]162481.vB[/ATTACH]