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RobotEars

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Everything posted by RobotEars

  1. RobotEars

    advertisement glory

    Smash. Wait can I beez In the wrong thread?
  2. RobotEars

    charlie sheen

    I wanna live 'right' with my concious type late-night party peepz but this shit just resonates so hard with me. Canz I do teh wrongz>
  3. RobotEars

    SMASH OR TRASH?

    Reconsidering... Body is a smash, pathetic xmas tree and paltry presents under it make my dick soft. Gentile moves.
  4. RobotEars

    SMASH OR TRASH?

    Wife if the boobz arent deflated. They are most likely completely degassed. Smash anyway. keep current wife.
  5. RobotEars

    SMASH OR TRASH?

    bangs are kinda annoying, body is NOT. Smashorzz.
  6. RobotEars

    SMASH OR TRASH?

    Yeah the one on the right on the floor seems like she could get smashorz
  7. RobotEars

    A realistic solution to a realistic situation.

    CO-fuckin-sign x10 squillion ignore my previous post. Thank you Mr.Chupacabra for succinct accurate reporting. The props shall be delivered promptly.
  8. RobotEars

    A realistic solution to a realistic situation.

    It can go two ways. You say, 'Pardon, Ive seen you here before and was wondering if i might sit with you?' What happens: If you're attractive, she says yes and begins to tease her hair, talk about her body/whatever to bring attention to her nice features. If you are NOT attractive, she'll scowl at you, tell her friends you are a creep and avoid you from then til death. Girls WILL admit this is what goes on ALL DAY. The same joke out of two guys mouths, one average or less, the other above average looking, who you think is goin to be the 'funny' one? Solution if you are unattractive: Acquire cocaine. Share cocaine with said girl. Receive pussy. Post pics in Smash or Trash. Side note, let girls see you with other girls. It deffo will up your cred with them. Theyll be thinking 'well if she is fuckin with him, there must be something good goin on there.' Ive seen it happen, dudes getting ZERO love from ladies, but once one girl says 'oh hes fine honey' then theyll all jump on board. Serious.
  9. RobotEars

    True Life: Im a Juggalo

    HOLY. FUCK. This picture says A LOT.
  10. RobotEars

    shameful/awesome sex story souperthread.

    Here's another one... So I'd been fucking with the straight fish scale. The few peeps Id really talk to about it would have their stories of good shit and how mine couldnt be THAT good. Well it was. I had just started partying again (after a few years of being 'good') and was at a (shitty) pacewon show. Im doin some lil bullets of raw and drinking but not goin too crazy... Show is over and we decide to head to another bar. Peeps are driving but im on my Dee-bo-esqe crusty old schwinn. As Im pedaling down a slow dark street I check my phone for txts etc. Not paying attention I SLAM into a black tahoe/yukon/whatevs and completely CRUSH my pubic bone and man-package into the 'steer tube' of the bike. FUCK! I was dying. I was SO numb from the raw I didn't really know how bad it was. Im hurting for sure but the pain has got to be reaalllly diminished fom the snort. So I keep going to the next bar and need to piss. When I get into the bathroom I realised how blasted I really was. Fuckin torn flesh and blood (but no permanent damage) Im a bit freaked as I try a lil first aid on my junk in a yuppie bar sink (LOLZ). Ok motherfucker WHERES THE SEX STORY? Well I get home (3am or whatevs) and I show my girl what happened and shes all concerned and shit but also MAD HORNY (she'd been partying with snort too) so she does a line off my dick and we start fucking. you would think with the crazy torn skin I wouldnt get hard or she would have been put off by the grusomeness of it. WRONG. Im allright in the man-package dept, but that night my shit was so swollen and super hard that the girlie (who is pretty reserved and not freaky/vocal/adventurous) couldn't help but to go off about how it was bigger/harder/whatevs. Yes I have fucked on snort about a thousand times, this shit was different. Yes, I do have a small scar on my shit now... Cliffnotes: I did coke. I crushed my penis on a steel bicycle. I fucked a girl while I had an unusually large (for me) erection. Conclusion=Chicks Like scars, Chicks like penis, CHICKS REALLY LIKE PENIS SCARS. Sorry for all the penis mental imagery. NH!!
  11. RobotEars

    shameful/awesome sex story souperthread.

    Not super shameful but deffo on some mythbusters storybrah. Im about 18. My gf, a good friend, and his gf go camping way up in the woods. We drive up to a campsite way up in forest, not a huge backpacking type trip, anyway.... We drink, eat pills, smoke tron, and not much happens that night. The next morning however... Girlie and I are smashing right out in the open on a layed out sleeping bag. Im goin pretty hard, alcohol and pills still got me alil numb down there nawlmean? During said smashing I look over and see my friends had walked into our campsite to see if we were up yet. Obviously they see us naked and having smashorz so they dip. My gf didn't see them and we never really broke stride. Well I guess I wasn't really paying attention but when we finished we noticed that girl had started her period. Blood on me, sleeping bag, her, whatevs though no real big deal just first time that had happened to me up to that time. So we get up and decide we'll go get our friends and see whats up with today after we pack up our stuff. I honestly can't now remember why the four of us walked back over to my campsite after we were packed up and shit but there we were no more than 10 minutes after I had finished and there was a fairly huge BEAR sniffing IN THE EXACT SPOT WE SMASHED AT. If we had taken just a little longer that story might have ended a lot differently. My friends knew why the bear was there but my gf didnt know they knew so it was a akward kinda denial of 'oh hmmmm why is he doing that?' while the two who saw did know exactly why... we slowly and quietly backed away w/o the bear seeing us and dipped to the car. Cliffnotes: I smashed in woods. Got period blood all over. Almost got eaten by a bear. Mythbuster conclusion: YES. Bears do smell and investigate period blood.
  12. RobotEars

    Don't do it in the park.

    Apparently dude isn't hip to blackbyrds..
  13. RobotEars

    "I HATE IT WHEN" - THREAD

    Wifey and I go to the movies. We sit in the theater completely alone. I go hit the bathroom during the previews. Upon my return theres another couple sitting DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF US. Not a few rows up or off to the side but RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. /coolstorybrahfirstpostwonerz
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