lord help me

Checking in. Shit, it's been quite some time. The last couple of years have been tough. I started taking a xanax once a week for a conference call at work, within a year i was taking them everyday. Thought i would throw in opiates for a little fun too and bam! right back to where i was in late 2007 after almost 4 years sober. I stopped going to meetings, and doing all the things others suggested i do and my sobriety took a backseat. I had to go out of state to detox because no treatment center in my state would detox me from the amount of methadone i was on ( had to get to 30-40 mgs, no way in hell i could taper down to a dose that low.) The detox was by far the hardest and longest i have ever gone through. My 50 days in Central Michigan are a blur now, but coming off a high dose daily methadone, klonopin, and ambien habit was a living nightmare. I'll spare the war stories. I'm grateful to have my wife back, my job still intact, and most importantly my health. The PAWS are still in full affect, but I'm grateful to be able to finally now to get a full nights sleep after almost 8 months. On the 16th, i will be 8 months clean and sober thanks to AA/NA and for that I'm truly grateful. RIP UGENE.

Rip Sean. The man maxed out what any human being could possibly do from the outside. He could pull out your chair from underneath you as you were sitting down and you would be laughing. Taking every single uni paint pen at Texas art supply...so many stories, share em if you got em.

last couple of records played.. Arroganta Agitatorer Tranquilizer-first flexi 7" from 84' The Sexual first flexi 7" Varaus- 1/2 LP youtube right now: carole king- so far away

I got sober in Houston, did the whole treatment center tour many times a round. if your serious about it, try the Right Step off montrose and alabama...all super good people. The Mens Center off main st. is the real deal though. at least hit up a meeting there..skid row no fucking around recovery. Its been a few years since ive lived there, theres a shitload of places though. give me a pm, ill try to get on here more than once every two months..

APV FIELD! guy to the right with buttons on the hat looks like Stu. 1996-2000 lots of good shows there...Suppression, Godstomper, Gleet, Rapport...help me out here? nothing better than punk rock on hot summer Houston day with the skyline right behind you.

a few in a row... NY Niggers- just like Dresden '45 Stretch Marks-Professional punks Corpsicles-big doings White Cross- no straightedge

verb/rifle noise mote forever josh. ac crew, those hooligans moved to atlantic city.

It's easy to GET sober, its hard to STAY sober. It took me 4 years of really trying to get that one year sober. It was always a piece of cake going through the physical wd's for a week or so...the month or two afterwards with the mental wd's always got me. I couldn't take the anxiety, lack of motivation, depression, and cravings that came in that time. I was so uncomfortable in my own skin, i would usually cave. I'm coming up on 3 years this October...getting through that first year motivates me to never want to get back in that place again. crackalackin: ramble all you want man!

all in good time. shouldnt be pushing you that much, somebody will eventually want what you have. might take years to get somebody through the twelve steps... the man who took me through had 12 years, and i was the first one who got through all twelve. this guy was active as fuck too. keep doing what your doing and the time will come.

RIP Josh. Its been well over 3 years since I saw him last, but I can still picture his giant smile riding bikes through downtown with 86 and Nike. Life changes, we find our purpose in life, move cities..that's still no excuse not to drop a line here and there. may peace be with you all.

I have known poor souls that were drinking 250-300 mgs of done' a day. lifers that will never get off the stuff, been going to the clinic for 25, 30 years. 100 mgs is a normal, steady dose for MMT. 2 years clean/sober and i can still feel the PAWS from methadone. best of luck bub

ink & Dagger tshirt colorado state flag mesh hat J Crew baggy comfy jeans new balance 996 havent seen one of these threads in years.

sorry dude, been super busy of late. havent checked this site for a minute... also, other shows of possible interest. ecoli and migrane-june 1st at blast-o-mat. leatherface-may 19th-marquis theater. still have not made it to a fucken show here yet...Leatherface will be the first. that Total Abuse LP goes hard..got lucky and ordered from PPM and got one on white vinyl.

Bastard Noise..July 11th at Rhino, dude.

liking that Howie silver, junk funk billboard, and mote.

^^^ sick as always... Nazi Dust- 7" on youth attack. HIV-demo tape from 05. (early sex/vid) white load- s/t 7"

yup. FR, that cup must of felt nice, like a ride to the moon..taking a little break is well worth it. i tried one of these drinks energy drinks in the area i just moved up to recently called Spike..talk about a jittery mess..ill stick to rockstars or red bulls.

YES!!! these dudes predicted the future..flying planes into buildings and shit. awesome 80s texas punk rock....

MR.C with the Pigeon Religion earlier! Phoenix sleaze, straight up. picked up some shit yesterday from this record store waxtracks in Denver..one for sure standout: MORPHEME- 7" ( had the demo, the 7" on Prank is alot cleaner..thought these dudes were from japan when i first saw em, but there from the EB.

you see he called his pops at 2:30 am sunday morning with chills running up and down him and said "pops, i have a feeling im gonna kick a game winning field goal in todays game..i just know it...from about 42 yards out im gonna kick that fucker right thru" off by 2 yards with a 40 yarder. NOLA for the win in Miami.

monday, monday records spinning on the needle. HUSKER DU-LANDSPEED RECORD 12" SELVHENTER-7" RICHARD RAMAREZ-START AGAIN NECROS- 7"

Nice pictures PB! glad you got there safely.

this guy always has good advice...i like it. for somebody that really isnt into AA ;) ......

FLIPPER-Ever WIPERS- doom town MY BLOODY VALENTINE-this is your bloody valentine LP. some lecture cd on fear by Paul H.

hows it coming along? today is my last day of work before my move so im planning on packing, throwing stuff away starting tomorrow. gives me a good 3 days to do the stuff i need to before jetting.