Re: Dear ________, - no homo
Dear Ex-Roomate,
I really enjoyed the ungodly amounts of porno mags and dvds you supplied the crib with. I also hate your homeboy you used to bring over and would crash on the couch like he owned the fucking living room. He made my couch smell like ass and dorritos. So it made it extra hard to get any play on my couch for the sole fact that I hated dirtying up my bed sheets so I would like to bang on my couch but couldn't because your lard ass homeboy would either be on it farting on it and or eating nacho and ranch flavored dorritos and getting crumbs all over that shit. And when we all would get drunk and have parties he was the most obnoxios fuck ever and would usually puke on the carpet and or try to make to the bathroom only to miss the toilet entirely. which I might add paid 350 dollars for the couch. And the fat fuck brought over his toothbrush and other toiletries like he would stay for days at a time. And you remeber when I was finally fed up with his shit and told him to bounce but not with out utilizing your porn mags in the bathroom and blowing a load onto his tooth brush. So fuck him. He took a piece of me with him when he left and brushe his teeth.
Love Always,
Malin
