Right, it seems that a story I told long ago was misinterpreted, and now I need to come on here and "clear my name" as it were.
I have never stood up in court to give evidence against anyone, nor would I. I have however claimed victims of crime, unsuccessfully.
When I was roughly 19 I got king hit outside a Canberra night club breaking my jaw.
After which I was told about a " Victims of Crime" compensation scheme where there didn't need to be a conviction ( the police were not involved at any time ) all I needed to do was front up at a certain law firm with medical records and I could come in to a few K in cash.
Piss weak?? Perhaps, but seeing as I was eating my meals through a straw at the time and unable to work as a result there of, the prospect of taking some of the governments money ( without snitching ) was a pretty attractive one.
Unfortunately for me at the very same time as I made my claim the law changed ( as you could image plenty of people were trying to rort it ) and I didn't see a cent. Sad face...
Here's a fun fact kids: If you do have the misfortune of having your jaw broken by a stranger in the street, find and take as much ecstacy as possible, this will completely numb the effected area and allow you to continue with your night as planned, then you can pop down the hospital in the morning to have your mouth wired shut.
As you were.
