tenyearsdrunk

awesome photo.

Merry Christmas OG ELSER!!!!!!!

i get lucky here................cause i totally believe in the G O D......... have my own religon to. Fat Cap for Jesus....cause Jesus was dope yo...a carpenter that hung out with thieves and prositiutes and was said to of walked on water and turn water to wine and sacrificed his life in the belief that we can have a better way to live after all our choices in this life are made....so i catch fat cap tags for him cause i think he would smile.. mushy nerdy emo aside....... i am going to aa. my new sponsor is a recovered heroin addict. believe it or not they (i kick it with a few) say kicking alchohol is pretty fucking hard-which feels good to hear and you gotta respect people that have kicked h) also, im in sf....we HAVE THE BEST MEETINGS EVER!!! i would seriously recommend moving here just for the meetings and jobs and weather and art and women and geography oh....and the 40 or so pot clubs....pretty awesome. besides that...i found two new jobs and am starting two diffrent companys in the meantime. got a beautiful rednose pitt puppy and Cherokee and Black Goddess that loves my stupid ass...still havent figured that one out. so anyway....specifically because of this thread and people in my life that care about me want me to stop drinking....im trying meetings again. thanks homies.

the one i went to....... no bullshit the dude has a pentagram and 666 and devil horns tatted on his skull. Ralphy! im going to a meeting for you homie. dammnit........why you gotta be all on point and shit. one love.

Half n Half... dealing with the loss of your Father is with out a doubt one of the hardest milestones in life. God Bless You and Your Family. IRON CHEF- thanks for calling bullshit...but heres why meetings dont work for me. im socially crippled in certain environments....i work well in some but not in others. if i wasnt drinking i prefer subway tunnels and freight yards and decaying urban places in general. this is good. the last meeting i went to was AWESOME AS FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was boys night out in a parking garage all men and the dude in charge or whatev had a pentagram 666 and horns tatted on his school. the old school classic car driving doc wearing dickies and suspenders was making jokes about havin to suck his dick AFTER you had do pushups till you couldnt if you were new to the group, got a six in blade pulled on him by some old school lookin HA dude. all in all awesome. went with a old friend. BUT>................... i couldnt smoke weed around a bunch of cigs and i dont smoke unless i drink...everyone one was eating junk food and drinking coffee and drinking soda....i dont. it was cool....found a couple dope sponsors...dude i met works at a death penalty prison doing appeals.... why it didnt work? i tried to go to a meeting the next night...i had to take the bus...which i hate doing unless im buzzed....then walk and i couldnt find it and all in all.......... this was the 5th or 6th time over 5 citys ive tried. i have the upmost respect for people that can solve this problem with meetings and wished it worked for me. in perspective....i dont do drugs, eat junk food, excercise alot and hustle legit. im just a alchoholic trynna stay out of prison and live a legit life. to be honest? come on now...im way past my earlobes in two decades of cancer exposure chemical shit (smoking since i was 12) was a house painter for seven years and my bodys wrecked in my mid 30s. couldnt walk all summer and walking and drinking is my drug of choice. plus im italian irish. alchoholism is a national pastime and normal there. fuck america for making it all fucked up for alchoholics... illegal wars...drug wars..war on crime...high incarceration rates. theres a reason i drink. but i can function and i dont give a fuck if i destroy my body two decades early. as long as i dont drive and dont fight. worst i do is act loud and write on shit. so thats why i dont go to meetings. but i like drinking more than i like humans as a species. i prefer homies and lovers and pitts. just me. and ive made progress the last year on finding that balance...but i got a WAYYYYYYY to go. one love! happy holidays.

Half n Half... dealing with the loss of your Father is with out a doubt one of the hardest milestones in life. God Bless You and Your Family. IRON CHEF-

thank you all contributors for the honesty on dealing with alchoholism. i struggle every day to not drink, but im an asshole if i dont and i have been drinking for twenty years. i regret every stupid thing i have done. as i said i stay inner city. so i generally watch for shit and dirty needles before i take a step...but i tried the twelve and i dont have the energy to donate for having an attention span and giving a fuck. so i dont go cause i cant give back. seriously......i would be a heroin addict. easy. but i grew up next to war. so i know that the chances i have for jobs and education and making a diference in the world are more than the rest. that being said. im chemically imbalanced in the brain. its not a lot of fun. watch the real worlds news? al jazeera bbc? i give a fuck. but all the posts here helped me alot. thank you very much. stay up.

i totally fucking lied. i ate ice cream and am smoking new ports.

Thanks Ralphy. That means alot. I stay inner city. I see alot of crack heroin on the streets...coke and molly for rich kids. people here drink so much when i walk out my door i have three liqour stores and 3 bars on the block. so i have gone sqaure to detox. or trying anyway. i got a lorazipam script adovan or whatev...but i was eating 6 with a forty to get to sleep. so i eat heavy butter and smoke hash to sleep. dont take any pills...not even advil and dont eat sugar and quit smoking. but im really in to software design. i have been blessed with some real OGs showin me how not to fuck up and set me straight on the reality of how cold the world is. its a harsh time in the world. Egypt? come on now. we are all pussy ass bitches in the us compared to Egyptians overthrowing their goverment for the second time. anyway. i drink way to much and im a better person sober. but who am i to judge...the heroin habit sounds nice...but im trynna be a sqaure. its cool as long as you have razor sharp edges. Respect. Its a hard road...

hi. im an alchoholic. im comforted that im not hooked on coke meth an china....but after over twenty years of abuse of malt liqour and whiskey....i have come to the conlusion im a way better person sober. i looked at the way i started drinking and why i drink. im debating on why and what my addiction does to me. but i dont really give a fuck and like i said...i get my fix at the corner store and can get through....but 40s have ruined ALOT for me. that being the deal....i still have a lot. but hey yo...i got crack riots human shit and violence when i step out my door and i dont pop pills and come from five generations of alchoholics. i tried meetings. but i hate people and am anti social. embracing negative violent lifestyles and self destructive behavior goes great with with whiskey fortys blunts and coke...come down with some L and a bit of H and call it a good day. im smart enough to know better.......and i know how alchoholics die. its about as bad as heroin. but at least its legal if you need the fix...but you can always fall off...its trying to stay on thats hard right? ps.......heavy amounts of medical food and hash help. ALOT.

what i will never get is hood beef when its hood on hood. life like fillmore beef, valley beef.......... yo. you fools are blocks apart and you want to kill eachother. same with you fucking nerds that take writing on walls so serious. for real you mostly white ass niggas. we all write our names on shit. i write for political justice, and got nice hands, know how to pull a clean rack, maintain a good hustle, pull a fly woman, show respect, and all that. in the words of Living Legends, most here "talk amongst them selfes like a bunch of bitches with dicks" imo.

all you niggas is gay.

as in the software company? or that super sweet grandma from the movie matrix? cause i like the super sweet grandma from the matrix cause shes all gangster in the matrix but she makes really good cookies and carries candy in her purse. and thats how real grandmas do it yo.

still image all day. fuck computer graphics past star wars 77

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZLWX7HtwFM

**URKLE

like dodge intrepid....or dog epic. im drunk earl....what should i do?

come meet me.

hows things in lil tel aviv Theo?

oakland pd gets as much as sac la fresno stockton modesto and sd. NONE.

i got things to think bout so ask me what im a think bout and i a may think and think or not. ask me if i give a fuck cause i dont.

ask me if i give a fuck.