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ZeroCool

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    TEAM ALPO

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    Re: TEAM ALCO

     

    Ohhh tonight my friends batch of beer is done so theres got to be massive beer drinkin and maybe pictures if I can ever get ash to fuckin send them to me.

    Fuck This Shit Thread - no homo

    in Channel Zero

    Posted

    Re: Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit The Shit Thread

     

    My Friday Night



     

    Got to gayward at about 3:00pm. Did nothing till about 7pm. Had two beers and I was out the door to take my girl out shopping. I spent and hour and a half inside a store deciding whether or not I wanted this pimpin yellow shirt with Buddha on it. I didn't buy it cause I just liked it I didnt love it. My girl drops me back off at the house around 9. I start drinkin.... heavily. Sailor Jerry spiced rum and washed it down with st paulis. It was a disgusting mix. It tasted like ass and not that "I would suck a fart out of Jessica Alba" type ass but rather the "addict thats addicted to crack and meds" type.

     

    Killed a 5th and a 12ver between me and some weird dude that lives here. Then the next hour was spent on analyzing the song Madness by del. I basically realized the song is awesome because the rap gives a lot of tension and build up. The break is this serene release no/homo. After that I started tellin stories of how I got jumped in that house, who what where when I fucked certain broads, and how I love to paint girls nails. You know guy shit. It started to get old so I needed to sober up a bit. I needed to head to a bar to drink and shoot some pool. What else helps you sober up more than fast food and a couple of rails of blow. I didnt know what made me feel worse but Id put my money on the two Jack in the Box tacos, a steak and cheese ciabatta, and bacon cheddar potato wedges. I took a shit this morning and couldnt even identify what else I put in my body last night.

     

    So anyways I get to this bar that used to be a gay bar but it totally revamped itself to being a hangout for a lot of ghetto motherfuckers. Luckily I had my ghetto camouflage on to help blend in. I notice I only talk with heavy slang in real life when people around me are ignorant. It helps the communication. I ordered a jack and coke and slammed it. I then tried to dance with some ghetto mexican bird and I'm not saying I asked and she declined I'm saying I'm flip and you show me a mexican that cant dance and I'll show you a fillipino. This bar started to get old soon after my display of retardation on the dance floor.

     

    I start walking to another bar catching miniscule tags that probably a handful of junkies and little faggot backpacker kids are going to see. I arrive at destination number 2 which is behind the best sushi bar in the city. Too bad it was already 12am though. They need to make an all night sushi bar/bowling alley. Anyways I get into the bar and it's a much older crowd. Pretty much 35 and up. I ordered a Jameson with a coke back. I slammed it down. No hopeful prospects so onward to the pool table where a big samoan looked like he was runnin things. His friends all looked like they came from that movie "Once were warriors." I layed down my 50 cents to let them know "the hurricane" was about to wipe up. I started shooting some of the worst pool of my life due to seeing tripple. What was awesome was that my bad playing made him even worse. So we're now in a dead heat at the 8ball and dude and his friends look pretty pissed since I was drunk and semi talkin shit during the pool game. I hit it and scratched on purpose cause I wasn't trying to get my ass beat by a bunch of islanders that are known for being NFL draft picks. I ordered another jameson with a coke back and fled.

     

    On the shaky drive home I put the handsfree device on and made a barrage of calls to certain females in about 5 min. The two that acutally showed up I call my last resorts. Ok now I'm seriously fucked up and I just want dome-piece but a combination of blow, fast food, liquor, and hard dick are preventing me from making good decisions. I pick the uglier of the two which is about a two tops and threw her upstairs. Oh no talkin, no games and sitting around wondering what the fuck was about to happen. She knew and I knew why the fuck I called them up and what they were there for. I told bitch to undress quickly cause I just need to get my rocks off and babydoll could leave right after. So it started out with mad dome and since I didn't care about the ugly bitch that I was tagging the hand went up on the back of the head and I'm pushin for that deep throat like its going out of style. Babydoll gags and I think it's cute. I make my way to the closet and grab a condom. Thank god my sister bought a bunch and left it in my room. I saddle up and rocked her shit for an extremely long 12 min. I'm just trying to bust and shit not impress a bitch. It turns out that all those chemicals in your body won't allow you to bust so I ripped the condom off and went back to dome for another 15 min. Nothing happened and this was starting to get old. So I make up some bullshit story about how I got to wake up early tomorrow and shes gotta get the fuck out. She leaves disappointed but I'm the one going to bed even more disappointed. I take solace in eating the rest of them cheddar wedges and I was off to dreamland where I did bust but with Adrianna Lima while some other bitch fed me jelly donuts.

     

     

    This story brought to you by alcohol and bad judgment. Go team Alco.

     

    A little bonus for reading this. The song madness by Del.

    http://www.mediafire.com/?00jddyjy2tn

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