normally my response to this type of stress is, "go write on stuff" but with your recent stretch of luck, maybe you shouldnt be doing stupid things you can get locked up for... especially if your drunk.
Also, if YOU have a kid on the way, drastic measures are out man, dont even entertain that thought. Call up shorty, tell her you need to get your head right, and try to figure stuff out one step at a time like INJURY said.
Dont worry about your homeys chick either, its fucked up, but to be honest... you seem like you have enough on your own plate to worry about.
In conclusion: