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  1. IT’S OFFICIAL! AUSTRALIA’S WORST GRAFFITI WRITERS. An extraordinary plea has gone out to the graffiti writers in Australia’s tidy towns. Buck up or get your cans confiscated by real writers! It seems that in country Australia graffiti writers are too busy sleeping or baking Sunday pies to bother putting up a tag or do a nice little throw up fill in. All the def styles have been left to over worked writers in the big smoke and they’re not happy. “It’s a fucking disgrace” says one writer who wanted to be named. “Here I am out every night doing run-ups, bombing everything [not in a British Arab way], racking paint and spitting on train platforms and these lazy pricks are most likely sitting in their town squares sniffing glue or other cheap solvents”. It seems that we’re not the only ones who have noticed the lack of action in our country communities. A look at the towns on the ‘KEEP AUSTRALIA BEAUTIFIL ‘Tidy Town List’ reads like an offence sheet for our under performing country cousins. 1991 Mt Tyson QLD. 1992 Mount Gambier S.A. 1993 Forbes N.S.W. 1994 Lucindale S.A. 1995 Naracoorte S.A. 1996 Kiama N.S.W. 1997 Stanley TAS. 1998 Denmark W.A. 1999 Goolwa S.A. 2000 Batchelor N.T. 2001 Horsham VIC. 2002 Soldier’s Point, Salamander Bay, NSW 2003 Wyalkatchem W.A. 2004 Port Vincent S.A. plus the Inaugural Dame Phyllis Frost Award for "Outstanding Achievement" to Port Vincent Tidy Towns 2005 Mount Gambier S.A. Perhaps the most alarming fact about this list is the mention of Mt.Gambier twice. “Mate, I felt like vomiting when someone read that to me. I’m slugging me guts out everyday, trying to keep the national Graffiti quota up and these lazy bastards are having a cheap fucking holiday. Well I say go to Bali or some shit. Nobody’s sleeping on my watch. No way duckie.” Says a close insider. AKTIFMAG/OZHIPHOP were able to wake a lazy country bumpkin writer from his hibernation to get this comment “Hello…no he’s not home…what?…who is it?…AKTIFMAG/OZHIPHOP?….oh shit…wait, the cows are mooing…Tidy Town…sorry mate I’m just having a cat nap at the moment…wait a second can ya?…[A FEW MINUTES LATER] Look mate, ever since Schapelle Corby was in trouble it’s been dodgy breaking the law. I mean the world’s changing mate. Look at Big Brother TV show…all there was on it this year were tits and fanny, yet nobody watched” Real writers not the dole bludging bum sniffing country ones have been planning to take action for some time now “We’ve just waiting for the cricket to finish, then they’re fucked” It’s believed that they have issued an ultimatum to Australia’s country towns. ‘Either go out and do some tags by Sunday lunch time or we’re coming to steal your paint!’ Melbourne Graffiti writer ‘Debut’ had the last word on the subject “If I’m not bombing, I’m thinking about it. These guys are thinking of other shit obviously...like harvests”. Judging by these warnings it seems the draught is going to be the last thing on farmer’s minds this summer. EXTREMELY IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO GRAFFITI CREWS!!! You can ‘dis’ another crew by entering their area in a tidy town competition. EXAMPLE- just say a fictional crew such as ‘TSF’ was from a fictional area like ‘Montmorency’ [insert whatever area or crew name] and your crew had beef with them such as [NAME DELETED FOR LEGAL REASONS]. All you have to do to make them look wak is enter their area in a ‘Tidy Town’ competition. How hard would a crew like TSF look if their town were the tidiest in Australia? The days of settling beef with your fists are over. The pen is mightier than the sword. Simply go to this link http://www.kesab.asn.au/tidytowns/ and download the entry form, then fill out a rival crews area and send it to KEEP AUSTRALIA BEAUTIFUL. Then sit back and watch them get embarrassed. What do you think all the hard nuts would do if Dandenong or Redfern were named Tidy Towns? They would have a shit fit and then be forced to dance in the pretty flowers in their street. Go on make your rivals’ turf a Tidy Town today. ‘TAGGING LIKE A KING’ THE MOVIE PREMIERE- THIS WEEK. STAY TUNED TO http://www.aktifmag.com or http://www.ozhiphop.com FOR DETAILS.
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