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O.K. EVERYONE STAY CALM, PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD. WE CAN ALL MAKE IT OUT OF THIS ALIVE IF YOU JUST CO-OPERATE. I KNOW YOU DIDNT MEEN TO HURT ANYBODY, AND I KNOW YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO DO THIS TO SUPPORT YOUR FAMILY. I'M SORRY THAT SOCIETY AS A WHOLE HAS LET YOU DOWN, BUT I WONT. C'MON WE'RE BUDDIES. YOU KNOW I WOULDNT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU. I'VE PUT MY NECK OUT FOR YOU AGAIN AND I CANT LET IT GO WRONG THIS TIME OR WE'LL BOTH BE DEAD(WELL THEY WILL SHOOT YOU, MY CAREER WILL JUST BE OVER). LOOK I KNOW WHY YOU REQUESTED TO SPEAK WITH ME, BUT MAN LOOK, YOU HAVE TO REALIZE THAT INGRID AND I WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. I NEVER MEANT TO STEAL HER FROM YOU, BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES...ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER ETC...ETC... AND I KNOW THAT THAT WAS WHAT YOU WANTED TO NAME YOUR KIDS.BUT LOOK AT IT AS A COMPLIMENT, WE JUST LOVED THE NAMES YOU HAD BEEN SAYING FOR THE PAST TWENTY YEARS, AND WE JUST WENT WITH THEM. I'M SORRY, WE NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU. THE ONE THING I REALY DONT UNDERSTAND IS WHY YOU ARE STANDING IN THIS CONVENIENCE SHOP, HOLDING PEOPLE HOSTAGE, AND WEARING THAT POSSUM COSTUME ALL BECAUSE HERRS®© STOPPED MAKING SALT AND VINIGAR CHIPPS. YA KNOW THER ARE LIKE MASS AMOUNTS OF THE PRODUCT IN A WAREHOUSE IN SOUTHERN OHIO, WE COULD GO THERE TOGETHER, AND GET THEM ALL FOR OURSELVES...YEAH WAIT A MINUTE...NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY. YOU TAKE ONE OF THE HOSTAGES INTO THE BATHROOM WITH YOU, EXCHANGE CLOTHES WITH HIM, AND JUST AS YOU ARE BOTH EXITING THE BATHROOM, HAND HIM YOUR GUN, RUN LIKE HELL AND START SCREAMING "THANK YOU LORD FOR LETTING ME GO, THANK YOU FOR SAVING THIS INNOCENT MAN!). UNDOUBTABLY HE WILL START CHASING YOU, AND YELLING INCOHEARENTLY, AND WITH A BIT OF LUCK START SHOOTING, IN WITCH CASE THE POLICE WILL "FIRE AT WILL, SHOOT TO KILL". HE WILL DIE NOT BEING ABLE TO POINT OUT THE REAL PERPATRATOR,K LEAVING YOU TO WALK THE STREETS AS A FREE MAN. AND IN JUST A FEW SHORT DAYS WE WILL PROCEED TO OHIO AND PULL THE LARGEST POTATO CHIP HEIGHST IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. OUR FELLOW COUNTRYMEN WILL HAIL US AS THE MOST IMPORTANT PATRIOTS OF MODERN TIMES, AND THEY WILL SHOWER US WITH ICED TEA AND BEER TO DRINK WITH OUR NEW FOUND SALTY, BITTER SPOILS OF CONQUEST.......
THREEE CHEERS FOR THE S&V LIBORATORS THEY WILL EXCLAIM.
HIP, HIP, HOORAY! HIP, HIP, HOORAY! HIP, HIP, HOORAY!
THANK YOU KIND SIRS THEY WILL SAY AS FRIED POTATO TREATS ADORNED WITH THE FINEST SALTS AND THE PUREST OF VINIGARS FALL FROM THE SKY'S.
LONG LIVE THE LIBERATION, LONG LIVE THE UNITED STATES OF THESE BEAUTIFUL AMERICAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF OUR HOMES, FAMILYS, PETS, AND FANCY CARS.
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