The only way to do Octoberfest is to go opening day, go early to reserve a spot at a table in the Hofbrauhaus tent, the only tent worth a damn.
When they tap the first keg, all hell breaks loose. (I hope you do not mind naked male Aussies chugging beer)
Do NOT wear underwear... boys or girls... actually, please do and learn a tough lesson.
And remember kids... everybody gets lucky... unless you are a worthless piece of shit who passes out drunk on the hill behind the tent. Then'll you'll get mugged.
...aaaaaahhhhhhh, good times.