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Harvey Wallbanger

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Everything posted by Harvey Wallbanger

  1. Steal the spark plugs out of their van, and trade them for termites.
  2. Throw the little porcelain thing from a spark plug at their lead singer.
  3. Pretty badass, Pistola. How bad was the smell? I ran over a gigantic buck once doing about 75 in a civic. I was surprised we even made it over the thing. Same type of situation, the Tahoe ahead of me went over it and by the time I saw it, I couldn't stop and there was a car to my right, jersey barrier to the left. Fucked up the bumper, muffler, alignment, and my neck. And when we got out of the car it was the worst shit I'd smelled in quite some time. Fucking bloody fur everywhere too.
  4. I work with a lot of glues/ epoxies, and this is the only stuff I could imagine putting on a toilet seat without it looking like piss (or jizz). And it wouldn't be that strong. Even if the seat looked clean, though, I honestly could not imagine a situation where I would consider sitting on a wal mart toilet without at least a wipedown.
  5. It's funny seeing that the same people who are always talking about how "if you don't beat your kids, they'll never learn anything and they'll grow up to be pussies" suddenly are all "OMG you can't do that to a kid WTF police?!?!" This is the third time the cops had been called to deal with this kid. In the same school district as fucking Columbine. Yeah, the teachers should have been able to handle it themselves (I don't care if you're a 100 pound, 5 foot nothing female-- that kid is not going to hurt you by throwing a chair) but those cops probably realized that this kid was learning that he could get away with extremely violent outbursts at school, and they put a stop to that shit. I'll bet that kid learned a lesson that he didn't get the first two times when they "talked him down".
  6. Man, you're lucky you "no homo"-ed that sentence. Taking showers is so fucking faggy.
  7. I honestly couldn't give less of a shit which person I've never met is sucking the dick of another guy I've never met. I'll probably still tune in next March.
  8. I recall it. "The Move" refers to that thing where you are barely going to make it to the toilet, so as you you make your approach, you start to drop your pants, turn around, and bend at the waist all at once. I'm pretty sure the guy in the story erupted somewhere in the middle of the move, so sprayed shit over the entire stall and toilet. It was definitely a great story.
  9. Kid should be psyched. That was probably the best tasting energy drink he was going to find.
  10. Camarada on 115th and 1st ave has a great old school hip hop/funk/latin night on Wednesdays. Good pulled pork sandwiches, platanos, sangria, and lots of non-hipster girls. Williamsburg is worth checking out for a day or so. Lots of bars, shops, restaurants, and graffiti to check out. Beyond that, it can get pretty irritating over there. Brooklyn Bowl can be cool, though kind of expensive. Walk across the Brooklyn bridge for sure, unless it's really cold and windy. Don't get hit by a biker. This is much easier to do on a weekday than a weekend. When you get to the Brooklyn side, check out the view from the promenade. The Met, MoMA, Museum of Natural History, the Transit Museum, the New Museum, Guggenheim... all rad. 5 Guys Burgers And Fries is a pretty good spot for relatively cheap food. Crif Dogs too. Walk around SoHo on a warm day, and you will likely hurt your neck checking out the wimminz. Same for Meatpacking District. Check out the Highline park while you're over there. Doughnut Plant Donuts. Smith Street Tattoo, and South Brooklyn Pizza around the corner. Joe's Pizza. Good Life Cafe in the East Village. It's probably also worth wandering around that area, checking out St Mark's, all the people skating in Tompkins Square park, and having a bunch of crusty punks ask you to buy them cupcakes and H. It kind of almost still feels like New York over there. There's also an amazing burger at the spot next door to Niagara (blanking on their name, but it's on avenue A right by 7th, between Niagara and the grocery store.) *It's called Black Market, and man are those fucking burgers good! The Vintage Video Game store on 6th and Bowery is fucking nuts, if you're into that sort of thing. I almost bought a Tetris watch the other day. Wear good kicks; we walk more than anyone, and whenever I have guests, they're always complaining about their feet by day two.
  11. Really? An "old news" and a Rick Roll? What is this, 2007?
  12. And that's why you don't put money in your mouth.
  13. Yeah, it's not like we're being a bunch of jealous haters just because dude made himself rich. It's funny when embarassing/ shitty things happen to people who act like assholes. If some fat girl knocked out John C Reilly or Woody Harrelson, I wouldn't be pumped about it though.
  14. I'm not normally one for "celebrity" gossip, but I hope this story gets some legs. I used to like Bam alright when you would only see him in skate videos, but as soon as he became famous outside of those circles, it became pretty apparent that he's a total asshole and now it's really fun to picture a girl punching him the fuck out.
  15. Full story here Short version: some dude said something "rude" to Bam Margera, so he responded by calling a girl in the dude's group a beached whale. Dude swung on Bam, knocked him down, and then the girl punched him in the face for a 7 minute KO! Oh, and she maybe then stole his faggy bracelet. I can't believe this hasn't been posted yet. Or, if it has, let me know, and I'll delete the old thread about it and tell everyone to go fuck themselves.
  16. We need more details here. Is this some kind of earthquake/tsunami/nuclear disaster, everyone get the fuck out of town now or die type of situation? 'Cuz if so, I have a backpack full of food, water, and essentials two feet from the front door, ready to go. I'll just grab that and I'm good. But if it's more of a "hey we're going on a roadtrip, leave in 5 minutes" kind of thing, I'm going to say laptop, camera, headphones, rain shell, and a scribe. I'll find clean clothes, paint, and toiletries on the road if I need them.
  17. Really, Jersey Girls? The Umbrella Song again? Fuck this, I'm out.
  18. Fffffuuuuuuuuuu... After a lot of big talk and expert planning, I'm sitting in a fucking Karaoke bar near NYU drinking Guinness (bottle, not even tap) and listening to a gang of white girls in plastic hats sing Baby Got Back. FML
  19. I was smart this year, and stayed out until 3 AM drinking Guinness and smoking green last night. Now I get to just relax today. It's like doing your taxes before the 15th, and getting to avoid the rush.
  20. I like my neighbors, but I'm not even going to risk getting shot over my own fucking television, let alone theirs.
  21. Hmmm... might also be a good time to go fix up some shit at a spot that turned out to be much darker than anticipated a couple of months ago.
  22. Got a link for this? I think dudes have been doing alright for a while now, but they should be pulling in Damian Hirst type cake. I've met very few artists (graffiti or otherwise) who are as humble and deserving as the twins.
  23. Nice stuff! Best of luck in the venture. I'd be interested to see some of the non-horror works as well...
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