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Everything posted by Smart

  1. Smart

    Peter Gunn

    Not the theme song you bag of dorks... the rest of the show music!
  2. Smart

    Peter Gunn

    you guys watch this? Mostly I'm asking about the music though....
  3. Smart


    RIP, godspeed my naked emporer!
  4. is that one of those TV chefs? I hate those guys too... and Mormons.
  5. Also, how my cookies keep getting burned on the bottom, it's only 8 minutes at 350 WTF? and, AND... and, The way Taco Bell and McDxs keep making up foreign sounding words for their products.
  6. The Cleveland Show. This fart stuff isn't gonna get a renewal and that's a shame because I can do a pretty solid Cleveland Jr. ... uh... hold on a sec...
  7. I can't belive that you even gave him a thraed...
  8. I just wanna stop and say FUCK YOU JOHN GRUDEN! And the new OT rule, I'm for it but post season only? WTF? How about regular season only so the playoffs still demand top form instead of a rebate in OT. Grrrrr football.
  9. Aw, yer not supposed to point it out, I was gonna make a 'phat tso' joke... and then I was gonna ramble about kung-fu theatre on the UHF channel Sunday at noon... Oh, and as long as we're in the region, Hey North Korea, FUCK YOU, on the real!
  10. well, I wasn't gonna mention it but a few months ago I was in court for some nothing but ON TOP OF THAT... I was just minding my business, waiting my turn and playing with the pencils on the bench when dude up front said: "I swear your Honor, it was more thnan I could bear!" I just reflexively shouted out: "BEARS ARE WHALES!" and I caught an extra charge plus $85 on top of what I was there for. So... don't.
  11. since I decided to 'boycott' reading a while ago I have atockpiled 68 titles... so, I got summer covered, mostly...
  12. Smart


    WTF? How do you NOT know about MK Ultra?! Seriously, Casek is probably spinning in his grave and setting his bed on fire, while AoD is probably masterbating and thinking of white supremacy slogans (and spinning in his grave)... This is hundred year old news.
  13. I drink at home and we have a healthy 'private party' scene. FUCK 'the public'!
  14. Yeah, so... do it now, we'll wait. Now tell us about how you were late because of stupid daylight savings time. I'll start with a story from when I was 13. We were supposed to be at a softball game and 'pageant' at 10am. We were late but, of course there was a cushion and my mother had something cooking or someshit so we were already a half hour behind... so, as you guessed from the title we blew it and missed the softball, which was nearly heartcrushing for me but... OK, the game was finished, they announced the 'Kudzu Queen' and the party adjourned to a private residence. Venison was prepared en masse and it was AWESOME! First time I'd eaten that, yummmy. This didn't stop me from noticing my friend Richard stole a six pack and ducked around a corner. I was still feasting on Bambi's mother when I noticed the unmistakeable smell of weed from the area where he had dipped out to, and while I enjoyed the venison, I knew what I liked so... I got there too late, I literally saw Richard drop and smash a miniscule roach.... so I did the logical thing... I smacked him. WTF? I asked how he could gyp me like that but, being as we'd never smoked together, and he was a few years older than me... I had to accept his 'I didn't know' argument. I demanded 'satisfaction' and he gave me the 2 beers left from what he stole. Then he went and stole another joint while I stole another 6 pack and we met back up. and THAT was the first time I got drunk. Of course, that was back when the time change coincided with the equinox...
  15. Yeah, "wells" are what you get when you order 'RUM and coke' or 'VODAK and cranberry' or 'GIN and whatever the fuck mutes the taste of hotdogs' or a 'Screwdriver'. The next step up are 'calls'... that's when you name a brand of liquor. Such as "Captain and Coke" (UGH!) or 'Stoly screwdriver' or 'Beefeater and tonic' (the ONLY acceptable Gin with it's only acceptable mixer)... etc. These 'calls' can often but, many times do not, cross over into the realm of 'Top Shelf' brands which represent the best the bar has to offer. *A note: If you drink top shelf stuff, STFU, it's NOT a badge of honor or sign of taste, you're in a BAR! Show me your private stock (a case or two deep) and THEN you can rattle on for hours about the subtlety of Jameson or some such related crap, however, it has been my experience that the people who stockpile the best shit don't spend much time in bars.
  16. I haven't been in a bar in 3 or 4 years... Don't miss it but with the economy and some recent offers I might be right back in there, I'll let you know when it becomes apparent. At home I usually just stock Cuervo.
  17. They call her the 'Hamburglar' because she got meat in her pants.
  18. I heard from an eyewitness that the perps put up a big 10ft plywood sign that obstructed the surveilance crew's line of sight. The sign reportedly read "YOINK!" Police are on the look out for this man:
  19. OK, so, if, just IF, you run out of the free lil waynes, do we get to get big waynes instead or do we get a raincheck or something?
  20. OK, here's how I call round one: mostly over. Bronze goes to Soup for an mIRC joke. Silver to ICB. and,no suprise this time, Gold to Mercer. I'll tell you what did it, Mercer got the coconuts, the helmet aspect AND the absract reference. He tied it up in a bow. SO UP YO CAPTION GAME YAAALL! Anyway, round 2 ->
  21. Yeah, that's a winner there Mercer... unless someone can come up with better in the quickness then you win this round and we need another random picture.
  22. alls I know is that it never says the words 'climate change' in the BIBLE so y'all can gone to hell, whatever.
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