Hall of Fame

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It’s all fun and games until you end up living in the same Wal-Mart parking lot for 6 months.

I had a friend who was super white/affluent looking that could talk his way out every time. Doesn't work so well for me, I've literally never gotten a warning and being mixed, switch my demeanor up to white as possible when I'm pulled over. My white friends almost always just get off with a warning unless it's a know revenue generating trap. Only exception I can think of was when they almost caught me red handed one time, coming out of an abandoned building between Forbes and 5th (busy area in Pittsburgh's "hill district"). Used gloves so no overspray nail color, and I still had on semi presentable work clothes from my buss boy gig so like a button up, slacks, and all black dress shoes with a non-biker/punk rock bro brown leather jacket. Painted a 3 color straight letter on the top floor, in reverse on the inside of a huge window so you could read it from outside. Came out OK but I fucked up the quote though where I was clowning someone/something, so instead of saying ha ha ha, it said "ah ah ah", and it's impossible to fix that shit. Anyway, I'm paranoid, and hid my bag inside before rolling out because something didn't feel right. We didn't know someone had called us in, so when we stepped out cops were waiting just around the corner from the exit we came out of into the ally. The homies who were behind me ran, but I wasn't in a position to having already turned the corner almost bumping into them. Cop grabs me, I look at him like "what the fuck" and somehow had him convinced I didn't know those dudes who ran, pretended I had just dipped into the alley to take a piss while waiting for the bus there, but got spooked by the dudes that came out that exit and ran. He started to believe me somewhat, then decided to go for the pat down, and I fucked up. Left a black kiwi shoe polish (a mop before krink was invented) in my jacket's inside pocket. Cop was like "Ah ha, what is this", and I just looked at him like he was retarded, and in my whitest voice said "that's shoe polish dude" and stuck out my black (dull as fuck never polished) work shoe and pointed to it. After realizing I probably had a job, the cop just assumed I was OK, gave my shit back, and let me go. I couldn't believe it.

You should hide one in a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos and play chip roulette with yourself.

This one earned both a 'Truth' AND 'LOL!' However, I can only give one reaction. "Left a black kiwi shoe polish (a mop before krink was invented) in my jacket's inside pocket." Hah, Thai police once found a bottle of Kiwi in my shirt pocket. They were not hip to it tho, just put it back in my pocket and said, OK with a hand gesture to move along

Reacted: Truth, but emphasize, "sometimes.."

Blue sports bra gets it. Pouch isn't scaring me off.

@LUGRlol no need to ruin a perfectly good pizza tonight too. This shit was so bad my girl was like “I think I’m gonna go lie down for a little bit.” That was like 3 hours ago. I hope she didn’t die from all this salt.

The rail system of holding condiments in a refrigerator door would be improved with a bottom rail or lip in the shelf.

Cuckery

Place I used to go to does Russian Roulette Pepper Bombs. Basically, an order of jalepeno poppers but one of them has been injected with one of those insane hot sauces. Went after work once and totally hoped the boss would get it but nope, it was me.

I’d fuck that fatass in the black dress without question. Wouldn’t ever tell anyone but definite smash. 10/10 as far as fattys go

@ndvThis is your chance to shine, don’t fuck this opportunity up for yourself.

Take the sunglasses off and smashola with unbroken unwavering eye contact. You’re gonna want to remember this one.

For the record I wouldn’t hit that with a bat. That’s the kinda broad that steals patio furniture and flips it when she outta pills. Scust.

Those teeth are browning in the middle, so I'm guessing that breath probably smells like an ash tray. No doubt she doesn't take very good care of herself, for sure that pussy smells like an old urinal that doesn't work anymore, but people keep pissing in it anyway. A strong 2, possibly a 3 if she's not as annoying as she looks. Smash.

I do like sour cream but at least get some Mexican food under that

This popped in my head and won't go away so here ya go.

got that Crinkle kush bubble gum in the mail the other day ago.

gotta ;pass this along to save my sanity Yea? Now, what cooler than being cool? Ice cold! I can't hear ya! I say what's, what's cooler than being cool? Ice cold! Alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright!

Alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright!

well she's already pregnant so no risk there. from memory mid pregnancy was always a good time for a good time so I'll be there

I shoulda never let y’all know what my kryptonite is.

Damn it, I clicked on it. And now it's in my head

https://railroadmodeling.net/news/locomotor-g150-arcelor-weathered-inspirations-by-esteban-lopez-martin

^ Lee "Scratch" Perry, RIP

@mr.yuckYou win some you lose some…When I was kid I made a milkshake and thought I was putting sugar in it but it was salt. That shit was trash.

I just made some butter noodles with broccoli and garlic salt. How did I fuck this up? Let me tell you. It all started when I went to salt the pasta water. I opened the wrong end of the salt container and got a firehose stream of salt into the water. It was like the amount of salt you add to water when you have a soar throat and need to gargle. The water turned cloudy. This shit is disgusting. I made so much of it.

Only thing questionable to me is that pouch in the front. If she's already prego I don't want to risk giving her unborn a black eye. If she aint prego watching her gunt rock back & forth like crashing waves would be disturbing. Trash.

If that wasn’t hot sauce, I’d be very upset right now!

Would smash thiccness on last page no question……and also the broad above could get it, appears she may be pregnant already which is a plus. Where you at @CALIgula- Team ChubbLubb

this has @mr.yuckwritten all over it

the fun roulette

I've definitely done worse smash.

We talked about this back in August. That’s Brock O’Johnbamason.

i love sour cream and would be capable of simile styles…

With a hefty deposit and "I really don't want to do this" sized bid.

And also I’m sure some other contractor showed right up to fix that lol.