Riot, if you haven't heard of Al-Anon check it out, may be helpful.
I am learning some amazing things in this CAADAC program....
Pharmacology/Physiology of Addiction
There are so many things pointing in the direction of alcoholism and addiction being genetic.
A bunch of neuroscience seems to suggest that our brains actually do function differently than a "normie". In those regards, we have created neurological pathways in our brains that have essentially programmed drugs and alcohol into our wiring. The good thing is that behavioral modifications and other therapy etc allow us to recreate the neurological paths that we have established, essentially re-wiring our brains.
In fact the prefrontal cortex of the brain of many addicts/alcoholics shows damage, this area of the brain is responsible for our self monitoring, social thinking, abstract thought and moral behavior etc. The process of attending meetings (involving social interaction) and "working the steps" (involving abstract thought and moral behavior) may strengthen the prefrontal cortex and help with abstinence .
^^^That stuff comes from a book written by Doctors, nothing to do with AA