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your feet are too big....ROB

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, May 21, 2004.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    Free Will Astrology
    horoscopes for week of May 20, 2004

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    Wabi-sabi is your guiding principle this week, Aries. It's a Japanese term for a kind of beauty that's imperfect, transitory, and incomplete. In his book Wabi-Sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets and Philosophers, Leonard Koren says wabi-sabi differs from the Western notion that beauty resides in things that are "monumental, spectacular, and enduring." It's about "the minor and the hidden, the tentative and the ephemeral: things so subtle and evanescent they are almost invisible at first glance." Be calmly eager for these small wonders, Aries. Let wabi-sabi be a magic spell that opens up the secret joys concealed within the passing moments of your everyday routine.



    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    If you've gone to college in the U.S., you've taken the SAT, a standardized test administered to high school students. Is it an accurate measure of intelligence? In a recent analysis, the Princeton Review determined that if the great Taurus writer, William Shakespeare, had submitted his "All the world's a stage" speech for the essay section of the SAT, he would have flunked. Its language is too colorful. I suspect that you, too, may soon be judged or evaluated by one-dimensional minds, Taurus. Don't take it personally. They're simply not able to recognize and accommodate a soul as weighty as yours. Take their off-kilter response as a sign that you need to work harder to situate yourself in environments that fully appreciate you.


    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    I love my regular hikes to the top of idyllic Mohawk Hill. Green hills cascade in every direction. Horses graze in a nearby pasture. Red-tailed hawks soar overhead. But there is one blight: a gray metal storage structure surrounded by barbed-wire fence. At the climax of my ascent today, I rejoiced to find that this monstrosity had been improved. Artistic vandals had paid a visit, covering it with bright graffiti. The yellow, blue, and red designs were mostly indecipherable except for one patch that clearly said "Test Your Strength." That brings me to the point of this week's horoscope, Gemini. Your assignment is to carry out a legal version of what the vandals did: Bring dynamic, interesting disruption to a sterile, ugly scene, thereby testing your strength.


    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    Your symbol for the next four weeks will be the Great Wall of China. Centuries ago, it was a 4,000-mile-long defense system. In that respect, it was an apt metaphor for the formidable barriers you've built around yourself. But the modern version of the Great Wall is only one-third the size it once was, having been reduced over the centuries by people appropriating its stones for new building projects. This reduced state, I hope, is an apt metaphor for the way you'll be dismantling your defense mechanisms between now and June 20.


    Leo (July 23-August 22)

    "I knew that my God was bigger than his," bragged U.S. Army Lt. General William G. Boykin as he derided a Somalian guerrilla leader. "I knew that my God was a real God, and his was an idol." I can't vouch for the accuracy of Boykin's assertion, but I do know this, Leo: According to my analysis of the cosmic omens, your Supreme Being really is stronger, sweeter, and sexier than everyone else's Supreme Beings, at least temporarily. Frankly, your God could kick all the other Gods' asses. I don't advise you to sic Him on anyone, though -- not even on the jerks who seem to deserve it. There'd be hell to pay later if you did. On the other hand, if you and your God show extra mercy and generosity in the coming weeks, you will accrue tremendous karmic credit, which you'll be able to harvest beginning in August.



    Virgo (August 23-September 22)

    Can you wait a while to receive your vindication, recognition, and reward? I hope so. If you insist on your prize immediately, it will be unfinished, like a garland made of flowers that were picked before they bloomed. If you're patient, on the other hand, fate will be able to fashion you a riper and more useful blessing. Do you need further motivation, Virgo? Here's some. One of the weak spots in your mastery of the game of life has been a lack of good timing, but lately you've been getting better at sensing the arrival of the perfect moment. Let this growing skill grow a little more.


    Libra (September 23-October 22)

    I don't want to encourage you to be a lazy, crazy, hazy drifter who careens from chance encounter to chance encounter without any specific intention in mind . . . but I do want to invite you to be an adventure-chasing, dream-intoxicated, passion-awakening wanderer who glides from experiment to experiment armed with the goal of opening your mind as far as it can safely go. Head in the direction of the best smells and most intriguing mysteries, Libra.


    Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

    Your fresh dilemma is actually a twisted old predicament in disguise. It's a bit prettier than it was the last time you saw it, but just as knotty. Please don't underestimate it. If you imagine you can force it to disappear overnight, you'll make bumbling decisions and awkward moves. If, on the other hand, you assume you'll need steady, prolonged effort, you will attract excellent luck and unexpected help. Be a humble warrior motivated not by hatred for the problem but by love for yourself.



    Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

    Let's talk about repression and suppression. When you repress a difficult feeling or thought, you drive it so deeply into your unconscious mind that you forget about it. In effect, you hide it from yourself out of fear. And yet because this exiled material is of crucial importance, it refuses to remain buried. It ultimately re-emerges in disguise, often as an addiction or obsession, sometimes as an illness. Suppression, on the other hand, is a healthier mechanism. It involves you moving the problematic feeling or thought away from the center of your attention, but remaining aware of it. You're not motivated by fear, but by the intention to deal with the challenge at a time of your choosing. In the coming week, Sagittarius, you'll have to decide between repression and suppression. I hope you'll pick the latter.


    Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

    Professional handicappers say the odds are a billion-to-1 that any particular person will ultimately achieve sainthood, but a mere 70,000-to-1 that someone will be possessed by Satan. According to my reading of the cosmic signs, however, those figures won't apply to you Capricorns in the coming weeks. I estimate that the odds of you flirting with diabolical forces will be 900 million-to-1, while the odds are 5-to-1 that you will perform services and bestow blessings that qualify you for sainthood. Are you ready to explore the frontiers of ingenious, over-the-top benevolence? Goodness is your superpower.



    Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

    In his book Weird Ideas That Work, business consultant Robert Sutton advises companies to have as much commitment to creativity as to stability. That's why, in his opinion, they should hire a few free thinkers who enjoy bucking the status quo and are willing to fight for their unique ideas. I think everyone would benefit from heeding that advice; we all need people in our lives who regularly push us to question our assumptions. You Aquarians especially need this influence right now. Do you know any good troublemakers you can call on to get your dogmas disrupted? If not, find one.



    Pisces (February 19-March 20)

    It has taken eight centuries, but the Dutch people have added 3,000 square miles to their country. They accomplished this feat not through the conquest of neighboring nations but by building dikes and moving great amounts of water, gradually transforming parts of the sea into livable land. Their dogged effort is a good metaphor for the work I propose for you, Pisces. Think of your unconscious mind as the sea and your conscious mind as the land. Can you imagine what it would entail for you to turn some of those watery depths into solid ground where you can take a stand? Can you imagine the satisfaction of becoming fully aware of feelings and dreams and desires that are now hidden from your view?
     
  2. slave_one

    slave_one Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 4, 2003 Messages: 2,745 Likes Received: 2
    Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

    Let's talk about repression and suppression. When you repress a difficult feeling or thought, you drive it so deeply into your unconscious mind that you forget about it. In effect, you hide it from yourself out of fear. And yet because this exiled material is of crucial importance, it refuses to remain buried. It ultimately re-emerges in disguise, often as an addiction or obsession, sometimes as an illness. Suppression, on the other hand, is a healthier mechanism. It involves you moving the problematic feeling or thought away from the center of your attention, but remaining aware of it. You're not motivated by fear, but by the intention to deal with the challenge at a time of your choosing. In the coming week, Sagittarius, you'll have to decide between repression and suppression. I hope you'll pick the latter.
    __________________________

    too weird man...exactly what i'm going thru right now...
     
  3. »§ÜGÅR«

    »§ÜGÅR« Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 16, 2003 Messages: 1,519 Likes Received: 0
    i think my horoscope is telling me to quit another job and find a better one. :idea:

    ...or maybe it's just telling me to kill my co-workers.
     
  4. Devilush

    Devilush 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 1, 2001 Messages: 17,035 Likes Received: 2
    steady prolonged effort??? eeeek. i've been working on this predicament for a such a long time as it is. ::frustrated::
     
  5. D3N53one

    D3N53one Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 13, 2002 Messages: 1,484 Likes Received: 0
    where is my short cuts?...
     
  6. Devilush

    Devilush 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 1, 2001 Messages: 17,035 Likes Received: 2
    email me. now. now now. now.

    press the button down there. [sexual comment block on]
     
  7. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 23, 2002 Messages: 22,277 Likes Received: 117

    My God is SO HUGE.
     
  8. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    -------------------++--------OnionScope

    Aries: (March 21—April 19)
    Your insistence that no one can possibly know how you feel right now will only point out how pathetic it is to be dumped by three bearded ladies in a row.

    Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
    It will be difficult to explain why you thought the guard dogs would make an exception for you.

    Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
    There is indeed a secret to happiness in life, but you mustn't assume that it's the kind of secret that would make you happier if you knew it.

    Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
    Even the people who love you most call you cold and unapproachable, but that's the price you pay for being the north face of the Eiger.

    Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
    You've never been the type of person who can be bound by society's silly rules, which is why they use all those silly ropes and chains.

    Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
    The weather will be fairly nice this Saturday, but trust us, that won't be what they'll be talking about in the news.


    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    The black widow spider does not have the most powerful venom of any spider in the world, but it's still going to do quite a number on your legs.

    Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
    Once again, your alma mater refuses to honor your achievements, instead toasting some guy who won something called the Pulitzer Prize.

    Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
    They say there's nothing new under the sun, so it'll come as no surprise when this week turns out to be exactly like the third week of July 1997.

    Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
    You'll be ridiculed by your fellow citizens for merely standing on the street corner and shouting at the top of your lungs that the world is evil.

    Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
    Not everyone finds the kind of love they want. Then again, so far, no one has had to settle for you, either.

    Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
    Your confusing the Spanish words "abogado" and "bodega" will lead to your having the worst legal counsel in Mexico next week.
     
  9. DETO

    DETO 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,316 Likes Received: 138
    my GOD can kick your god's ass!
     
  10. EyeforAnEYE

    EyeforAnEYE Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 29, 2003 Messages: 4,199 Likes Received: 3
    :cry2: I gave them everything they asked for
     
  11. DETO

    DETO 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,316 Likes Received: 138
    DLush, you got mail!
     
  12. bigpoppa.k

    bigpoppa.k Elite Member

    Joined: May 2, 2001 Messages: 3,151 Likes Received: 17
    all you other gods better watch the fuck out!
     
  13. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest


    american choppers black widow bike

    [​IMG]
     
  14. Devilush

    Devilush 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 1, 2001 Messages: 17,035 Likes Received: 2
    i didnt get it.

    [email protected]
     
  15. Fondles

    Fondles Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 31, 2001 Messages: 7,858 Likes Received: 24
    crazy. i have a presentation coming up and if all goes well i could land an awesome contract with a huge company. and this horoscope pretty much summed up what i need to do to accomplish getting the contract.
     
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