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you know you're a dunk when...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by vinyl junkie, Oct 15, 2004.

  1. vinyl junkie

    vinyl junkie 12oz Elite Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    you know you're a dunk when...

    Discussion started by vinyl junkie - Oct 15, 2004

    You freak out when you wake up in your own bed.
    You have threatened to murder and marry the same person in the span of a single happy hour.
    You watch Behind the Music and think “That’s really not that much alcohol.”
    You won’t rent an apartment that doesn’t have a bar and liquor store within two blocks.
    You shake the same person’s hand five times between last call and getting booted out.
    You have never taken a drink of a non-alcoholic beverage without thinking, “Man, a splash of booze would fix this right up.”
    You’ve apologized to people you don’t remember meeting for things you don’t remember doing in places you don’t remember going.
    Bartenders call you when you’ve been absent for more than two days.
    You wake up in a strange city not knowing how you got there, and the three other guys don’t know either.
    When buying floor tile, you press your face against it to see how comfortable it would be to sleep on.
    The word “rent” loses all meaning after your fifth drink.
    Whenever someone in a suit spills your well bourbon it magically transforms into top shelf scotch on the way to the floor.
    Your bartender never has to ask, “Do you want another?”
    You spend ninety percent of your paycheck on drinking and waste the rest.
    You fell down two flights of stairs and didn’t spill a drop.
    Your roommates say good morning to you and you haven’t been to bed yet.
    You refer to your mouth as your “booze hole.”
    You give directions with liquor stores and bars as the major landmarks, i.e., "You'll pass Argonaut's Liquors on the left and Scooter's on the right, then turn right on the street between the Satire Lounge and the Lion's Lair, then continue until you see the tree that looks like a huge martini glass."

    i've been guilty of all of hese, except the one about the tile (however i have decided which bathroom to vomit in based on which one would be better for passing out in) and the falling down two flights of stairs one (it was only one flight)

    cheers...

    http://www.drunkard.com/md_youre_a_drunk.htm
     
    vinyl junkie - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
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  2. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Overtime - Replied Oct 15, 2004

    ive been drunk once, and boy what a night!
     
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  3. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

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    Weapon X - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    I, too, am guilty for much of these, but for this particular one, I am the King of. I black out when I even take a sip of the whisky. It's got a strange power over me.

    There is a whiskey convention going on in my city soon. But it's a hundred dollar admission. Unfortunately, I have to spend my money on other, less important things.



    :crap: <---what a cool smiley!
     
    Weapon X - Rank: 12oz Loyalist - Messages:
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  4. ledzep

    ledzep 12oz Junior Member

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    ledzep - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    You know your drunk when...

    you keep on saying "Imm fookin' droonk".
     
    ledzep - Rank: 12oz Junior Member - Messages:
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  5. RoboThruster

    RoboThruster 12oz Member

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    RoboThruster - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    you know your a drunk when...

    The bartender asks you if you want "the usual"
     
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  6. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

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    Dick Quickwood - Replied Oct 16, 2004


    that's also a good indicator of having an English accent
     
    Dick Quickwood - Rank: 12oz Loyalist - Messages:
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  7. ledzep

    ledzep 12oz Junior Member

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    ledzep - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    right-o
     
    ledzep - Rank: 12oz Junior Member - Messages:
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  8. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

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    Kr430n5_666 - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    Surrounded by chicks.
     
    Kr430n5_666 - Rank: Banned - Messages:
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  9. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

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    GLIK$ - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    and god knows you hate that.
     
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  10. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

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    iloveboxcars - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    another good indicator is not only do you click on this thread, knowing full well what it will contain, but you contribute to it.



    hm....
     
    iloveboxcars - Rank: 12oz Royalty - Messages:
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  11. InnerCityRebel

    InnerCityRebel 12oz Veteran Member

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    InnerCityRebel - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    when your own farts even make you leave the room.. :krunk: :spent: :yuck: :zombie:
     
    InnerCityRebel - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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  12. KING BLING

    KING BLING Guest

    KING BLING - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    I like to come up with snappy sayings while drunk such as :

    One mans piss is another mans perfume

    and

    I'm cooler than a cucumber in a polar bears paw <interchange with pussy depending on audience, I wasn't so kind>
     
  13. imported_El Mamerro - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    Fact: It's 6:55 AM, I just woke up, and I have a rum on the rocks in my hand.
     
  14. 26SidedCube

    26SidedCube 12oz Veteran Member

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    26SidedCube - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    The fucked up thing is if you did any of these on any other non-socially accepted drug it'd be considered disgusting and a tell-tale sign of being a shitty person.. but because alcohol's legal we've all rationalized ourselves in the deepest, darkest corner of Plato's cave where it's kosher to piss yourself and start fights with people you care about as long as it's under the guise of good times and big tittied blondes during the Superbowl.

    Ahhh.. America.
     
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  15. nomadawhat

    nomadawhat 12oz Veteran Member

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    nomadawhat - Replied Oct 16, 2004

    ...when you wake up surrounded by del taco wrappers and there's a half eaten taco wedged under you.
     
    nomadawhat - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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