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you know you're a dunk when...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by vinyl junkie, Oct 15, 2004.

  1. vinyl junkie

    vinyl junkie Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 17, 2002 Messages: 4,725 Likes Received: 0
    You freak out when you wake up in your own bed.
    You have threatened to murder and marry the same person in the span of a single happy hour.
    You watch Behind the Music and think “That’s really not that much alcohol.”
    You won’t rent an apartment that doesn’t have a bar and liquor store within two blocks.
    You shake the same person’s hand five times between last call and getting booted out.
    You have never taken a drink of a non-alcoholic beverage without thinking, “Man, a splash of booze would fix this right up.”
    You’ve apologized to people you don’t remember meeting for things you don’t remember doing in places you don’t remember going.
    Bartenders call you when you’ve been absent for more than two days.
    You wake up in a strange city not knowing how you got there, and the three other guys don’t know either.
    When buying floor tile, you press your face against it to see how comfortable it would be to sleep on.
    The word “rent” loses all meaning after your fifth drink.
    Whenever someone in a suit spills your well bourbon it magically transforms into top shelf scotch on the way to the floor.
    Your bartender never has to ask, “Do you want another?”
    You spend ninety percent of your paycheck on drinking and waste the rest.
    You fell down two flights of stairs and didn’t spill a drop.
    Your roommates say good morning to you and you haven’t been to bed yet.
    You refer to your mouth as your “booze hole.”
    You give directions with liquor stores and bars as the major landmarks, i.e., "You'll pass Argonaut's Liquors on the left and Scooter's on the right, then turn right on the street between the Satire Lounge and the Lion's Lair, then continue until you see the tree that looks like a huge martini glass."

    i've been guilty of all of hese, except the one about the tile (however i have decided which bathroom to vomit in based on which one would be better for passing out in) and the falling down two flights of stairs one (it was only one flight)


  2. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 22, 2003 Messages: 13,989 Likes Received: 313
    ive been drunk once, and boy what a night!
  3. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202
    I, too, am guilty for much of these, but for this particular one, I am the King of. I black out when I even take a sip of the whisky. It's got a strange power over me.

    There is a whiskey convention going on in my city soon. But it's a hundred dollar admission. Unfortunately, I have to spend my money on other, less important things.

    :crap: <---what a cool smiley!
  4. ledzep

    ledzep Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 21, 2002 Messages: 146 Likes Received: 1
    You know your drunk when...

    you keep on saying "Imm fookin' droonk".
  5. RoboThruster

    RoboThruster Member

    Joined: Jun 12, 2004 Messages: 313 Likes Received: 0
    you know your a drunk when...

    The bartender asks you if you want "the usual"
  6. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14

    that's also a good indicator of having an English accent
  7. ledzep

    ledzep Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 21, 2002 Messages: 146 Likes Received: 1
  8. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
    Surrounded by chicks.
  9. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 23, 2002 Messages: 22,277 Likes Received: 117
    and god knows you hate that.
  10. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,506 Likes Received: 450
    another good indicator is not only do you click on this thread, knowing full well what it will contain, but you contribute to it.

  11. InnerCityRebel

    InnerCityRebel Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 19, 2002 Messages: 8,297 Likes Received: 117
    when your own farts even make you leave the room.. :krunk: :spent: :yuck: :zombie:

    KING BLING Guest

    I like to come up with snappy sayings while drunk such as :

    One mans piss is another mans perfume


    I'm cooler than a cucumber in a polar bears paw <interchange with pussy depending on audience, I wasn't so kind>
  13. Fact: It's 6:55 AM, I just woke up, and I have a rum on the rocks in my hand.
  14. 26SidedCube

    26SidedCube Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 18, 2003 Messages: 6,590 Likes Received: 10
    The fucked up thing is if you did any of these on any other non-socially accepted drug it'd be considered disgusting and a tell-tale sign of being a shitty person.. but because alcohol's legal we've all rationalized ourselves in the deepest, darkest corner of Plato's cave where it's kosher to piss yourself and start fights with people you care about as long as it's under the guise of good times and big tittied blondes during the Superbowl.

    Ahhh.. America.
  15. nomadawhat

    nomadawhat Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 24, 2001 Messages: 5,001 Likes Received: 2
    ...when you wake up surrounded by del taco wrappers and there's a half eaten taco wedged under you.