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You have to read this personal ad:

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by <KEY3>, Oct 19, 2004.

  1. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    ---- I found this on Craigslist and the only reason why I lookd is because it's in my hood,
    right down to the intersection. And if I ever see this kid.... I think I will steal his bike.
    I mean really..... I wanted to send him an email to tell him to get the fuck out of my neighbourhood.
    Whiny little dork. you can reach him here: [email protected] if you hate him too.

    It reads like a fucking 'checklist' of being an indie sceenster.
    Damn some people try WAY to hard to fit it. PGW to the extreme!

    Read and laugh...


    Right now, I'm sitting in my room listening to obscure indie rock. Two minutes ago, I was on a streetcar ride back from a VICE magazine party that was disgustingly cliche, but infinitely entertaining. The theme was 'Miami Vice', and you can imagine what that meant: uber-hip hipsters sporting designer clothing from the 80s, not to mention their contemporary mullets and white plastic sunglasses. I stuck out like a sore thumb, which is surprising since I think of myself as the kind of person who can blend into most situations (neuroscience labs, indie coffee shops, et cetera). Why? Because I just work this way. I wear good shoes, good jeans, and sport a good haircut. These are sometimes invaluable traits, not to mention my oddly charming (and sometimes intimidating) ability to talk about a wide range of things.

    So what sorts of things do I do? What kind of person am I?

    I study philosophy and psychology at the University of *******.
    I edit some undergraduate philosophy journals.
    I work in a psycholinguistics laboratory as a researcher.
    Yesterday, I quit my job as a barback at a trendy nightclub.
    I've been to the heart of the Sahara desert, via Morocco.
    I did the cheezy backpacking thing around Europe.
    I ride a fixed-gear track bike almost everywhere.
    I will be buying a motorcycle in the upcoming weeks.
    I play weekly shows in *******.
    I've released two CDs. One got a really bad review in **** Magazine; the other reviews have been reasonably positive.
    I once studied music performance at U of ****.
    I've worked on a cruise ship.
    I *love* analog synthesizers.
    I intend to do post-graduate work in philosophy. I'm in no rush to do this, however.

    Excuse the factual nature of my list-like description but there's more to come... (People like to know these things, right?)

    My vices:

    - I like Avril.
    - I can NEVER say 'no' to espresso.
    - Sometimes my ambivalence is debilitating.
    - I encourage people to do things they wouldn't ordinarily do. I somehow just presuppose that my friends have the same sort of obsession with novelty, like I do.
    - I'm usually not so cheery in the mornings. Sorry.

    My appearance:

    I'm 5'8", primarily Caucasian (although my father is from Chile), slim, and have somewhat-long brown indie-hair. Sometimes I wear dark-rimmed glasses, sometimes I wear contacts. Style? Think 'unassuming art-oriented nerd meets *****local scene**'...

    I've got a picture or two, if you really want to see what I look like.

    What I'm looking for:

    Someone around my own age to encourage me to do things I wouldn't ordinarily do.
    Someone to listen to music with at very high volumes.
    Someone to bike around the city with.
    Someone who shares my affinity for espresso.
    Someone who occasionally likes touching toes and reading either high-browed magazines or Archie comics (I have both at my apartment).
    Someone who isn't obsessed with MSN.
    Someone who looks forward to good sex with someone they delight in.

    As for appearance, I'm actually quite flexible. That being said, the women I've been with seem to share a certain 'look': artsy, cute, thin-to-average build.

    The CD I'm listening to is now on its last track. I figure that this is probably a good cue to cut this email short.

    Let's meet up. At worst, you'll get a good coffee out of it; I know some great places. But maybe if I'm lucky, you'll take me somewhere I've never been before.
  2. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
  3. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 22, 2003 Messages: 13,989 Likes Received: 313
  4. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,506 Likes Received: 450
    hahahahha when he said "i cant say no to espresso i thought of zoolander..

    "you know what will cheer you up? ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPACCINOS!"
  5. test pattern

    test pattern Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 21, 2002 Messages: 3,975 Likes Received: 0
  6. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202
    Do I have to join this site to date him? He sounds dreamy, and I'll trek down there for a free espresso.
  7. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,506 Likes Received: 450
    please DO NOT start this shit.

  8. 2 blaazed

    2 blaazed New Jack

    Joined: Jun 28, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 3
  9. justaname

    justaname Member

    Joined: May 18, 2003 Messages: 807 Likes Received: 23
    young promising e-athlete
  10. rental

    rental Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 1, 2001 Messages: 7,641 Likes Received: 2
    fuck. i will kill you.
  11. ledzep

    ledzep Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 21, 2002 Messages: 146 Likes Received: 1
  12. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 22, 2003 Messages: 13,989 Likes Received: 313
    damn, if he dont have the girls clammering already, i dont know what will get them, damn
  13. Herbivore

    Herbivore Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 12, 2004 Messages: 1,431 Likes Received: 1
    i hope he remains lonely for the rest of his pathetic, pretentious life.
    i'm mad at anyone who would want to interact with him after reading that.
  14. Crimsøn

    Crimsøn Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 18, 2003 Messages: 2,120 Likes Received: 1
    I'm still behind on this one... :confused:

    ...pretty funny little ad though.
  15. SinGunChaser

    SinGunChaser New Jack

    Joined: Oct 19, 2004 Messages: 41 Likes Received: 0
    "Right now, I'm sitting in my room listening to obscure indie rock"

    That's funny.