You Guys Hear About the Smurfs?

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http://www.washingtontimes.com/world/20051...20340-8744r.htm

UNICEF ad drops bomb on Smurfs

By David Rennie

LONDON DAILY TELEGRAPH

October 10, 2005

BRUSSELS -- UNICEF's first adult-only episode of "The Smurfs," in which the blue-skinned cartoon characters' village is annihilated by warplanes, has terrified young children.

The short but chilling film is to be broadcast on national television this week as a campaign advertisement for a fundraising drive by the U.N. children's agency.

The animation was approved by the family of the Smurfs' late creator, "Peyo."

Belgian television viewers were given a preview of the 25-second film last week, when it was shown on the evening news.

The reactions ranged from approval to shock and, in the case of small children who saw the episode by accident, wailing terror.

UNICEF and the family company, IMPS, which controls all rights to the Smurfs, have stipulated that it is not to be broadcast before 9 p.m., when it is hoped that children will be in bed.

The short film pulls no punches.

It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand in hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom-shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.

The Smurfs scatter and run in vain from the whistling bombs, before being felled by blast waves and fiery explosions. The final scene shows a scorched and tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurfs.

The final frame bears the message: "Don't let war affect the lives of children."

It is intended as part of a fundraising drive by UNICEF's Belgian arm to raise more than $100,000 for the rehabilitation of former child soldiers in Burundi.

Philippe Henon, a spokesman for UNICEF Belgium, said his agency had set out to shock, after concluding that traditional images of suffering in Third World war zones had lost their power to move television viewers.

"We have never done something like this before, but we've learned over the years that the reaction to the more normal type of campaign is very limited," he said.

Belgium prides itself on being the home of some of the world's most famous cartoon characters -- from Tintin to Lucky Luke and the Smurfs, known to the Dutch-speaking half of the country as "Smurfen" and as "Schtroumpfs" to Belgium's French speakers.

The advertising agency behind the campaign, Publicis, decided the best way to convey the impact of war on children was to tap into the earliest, happiest memories of Belgian television viewers. They chose the Smurfs, who first appeared in a Belgian comic in 1958.

Julie Lamoureux, account director at Publicis for the campaign, said the agency's original plans were toned down.

"We wanted something that was real war -- Smurfs losing arms, or a Smurf losing a head, but they said no."

The film has won tentative approval from the official Smurf fan club. "I think it will wake up some people. It is so un-Smurf-like. It might get people to think," a club spokesman said.

"That crying baby really goes to your bones," said Hendrik Coysman, managing director of IMPS.

what exactly is unicef? they make fun of it quite a bit in joe dirt, seriously? is it just a charity type thinggy?

I think it's French but I believe the English translation is the United Nations Children's Fund....

^Yeah. They distribute little fold-out boxes 'round halloween for kids to collect money for unicef from people...knew more than a few kids who took it upon themselves to keep that money..

i find that hilarious. but i'm a bad person, so yeah...

Originally posted by La Cosa Nostra@Oct 14 2005, 12:38 PM

knew more than a few kids who took it upon themselves to keep that money..

Quoted post

That's horrible.

Crybabies...

not as bad as papa smurf getting his ass licked.

Originally posted by MaKeItHaPpEn@Oct 14 2005, 09:12 PM

not as bad as papa smurf getting his ass licked.

Quoted post

????

Originally posted by Dr. Dazzle+Oct 14 2005, 03:11 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Dr. Dazzle - Oct 14 2005, 03:11 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-La Cosa Nostra@Oct 14 2005, 12:38 PM

knew more than a few kids who took it upon themselves to keep that money..

Quoted post

That's horrible.

[/b]

no kidding, but nobody else was giving these kids more than a dollar or two every other day

It's time to tell the truth about Smurfs.

You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and

ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and

good and bad times.

 

"But," people ask, "do Smurfs have..... you know,...... *sex*?"

The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES!

And why shouldn't they? They're people, too.

 

What *most* people don't know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the

reason is because Smurfs only have sex once a year.

 

Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you'd be blue, too.

 

Once a year, in the Smurf village, flags and banners fly happily

in the breeze, proclaiming that the day of the annual Smuckfest

has arrived. Birds sing and the Sun comes out to watch, despite

the weather Smurf's direst predictions.

 

I guess good ol' Mr. Sun is a voyeur.

 

In the middle of town, Papa Smurf gives a brief speech explaining

the origin of the Smuckfest; how Dr. C. Everett Koop came to the

village and warned all the Smurfs about AIDS. Papa Smurf knew that no one

made condoms small enough for a Smurf (even though everyone knows

that all male Smurfs are uniformly well-hung, for their size), so he

decreed that all Smurfs would only smuck one day a year.

 

"Smucking one day a year will help us identify any diseases we may

transmit to one another, and keep them from spreading to the animals

in the forest," declaimed Papa Smurf. "Besides, it will give

Smurfette a chance to rest."

 

Yes! Smurfette must rest. For, as everyone knows, Smurfette is the

only female Smurf in the village, and after a full day of having

vigorous, rabid sex with two hundred cunt-crazed little blue men,

she needs a break.

 

So, on the appointed day, Papa Smurf bids everyone throw their

inhibitions to the wind and immerse themselves in debauchery.

And, as is his privilege, Papa Smurf throws out the first throe.

 

At his signal, Smurfette unties the skintight blue band she must

use to suppress her natural bustiness, and her astounding tits

spring forth into the daylight. The Sun gleams lecherously on

the smooth, blue flesh, nipples crinkling in the light of day from

her soon-to-be-unbridled lust.

 

Then Smurfette shimmies out of her skirt and stands before the

crowd, naked as the day she was born, save the spike-heeled white boots

she has donned just for the occasion. Her long, blonde hair cascades

down her back and lasciviously outlines her buttocks, clinging like

a dirty old man's gaze to each curve and dimple.

 

Her cunt winks lewdly from behind the golden shield of pubic glory,

already glistening in mad anticipation of each and every raging

rod it would receive that day. And receive them gladly it would,

for hers is the indefatigable furburger, and she hungered for the

sauce blended in the heat of passion.

 

Smurfette turns to Papa Smurf and lifts her stupendous breasts

with their turgid nipples to his lips. He takes each one, in

turn, into his mouth, where his tongue dances the Fabulous Fandango

around the areolae, as Smurfette moans like a cat in heat.

 

Then, when poor Smurfette can take no more, Papa Smurf drops to

his bony little knees and sprinkles his magic deSmurfilating

dust on Smurfette's engorged cunt lips. Presto! The lovely

blonde braiding material falls from her, leaving her shaved smooth

as a hard-boiled egg.

 

"Oh, Papa Smurf!" she cries. "Encore!! Encore!!", as she writhes

in anticipation of the Fabulous Furless Fandango danced 'round her

pulsating pussy.

 

Papa Smurf does not disappoint the damsel in distress; he slides

his hands under her tight little blue ass and parts her moistness

with his thumbs. As the hot, funky juices begin to run down his

 

arms, he plunges tongue-first and tonsil-deep into her wiggling

womanhood. Smurfette gasps as the talented tongue begins to do

its magic, and her cunt clutches at it like a baby bird after a

worm.

 

Cradling his head to her crotch, Smurfette's hips begin to slowly

grind and twitch, for Papa Smurf's tongue has unerringly found her

S-spot, and Smurfette begins the slow, hot, agonizing rise to

ecstasy. "Oh, make me smurf, baby, make me smurf!", she pants,

each stroke of his tongue causing her to throb and clutch.

 

As Smurfette's moans and cries rise in pitch higher and higher,

the crowd gazes in amazement at the mighty mound of meat struggling

to escape from Papa Smurf's pants. This, then, is the legendary

Trouser Titan, bulging forth in a determined attempt to split

the barrier.

 

Just when Smurfette is certain that she will die from sheer

sensory overload, Papa Smurf flings off his Levis and frees

the Magnificent Heat-Seeking Moisture Missle from its cradle.

Maddened with blind lust, Smurfette hurls Papa Smurf to the

platform and leaps shrieking into the air, landing unerringly

on his Titanic Totem.

 

Suddenly filled, Smurfette's cunt explodes in a monster orgasm,

the force of which propels her screaming into the air again and

again, each time plummeting her onto the Potent Purple Pecker and

triggering another climax.

 

Before Smurfette can achieve orbit, Papa Smurf grab her legs and

pulls her to the ground. Swiftly, he stands, pulling her to her

knees. Gasping in awe, Smurfette gets a head-on view of his

hard-on, glistening in the light like a war staff.

 

The sight of this shining stud is too much for Smurfette, who

immediately grabs both of Papa smurf's bulging balls in her hands

and pulls him to her waiting mouth. With preternatural skill and

primeval hunger, Smurfette devours the monster cock, licking and

sucking like a starving child with an ice cream cone.

 

His ass knotting like a sailor's anchor rope, Papa Smurf pounds

into Smurfette's mouth with furious strokes. As he reaches his

blazing climax, he forces Smurfette to take all thirteen and 7/8ths

inches of blue tube steak and fires round after pulsing round

of blue goo down her ravenous throat.

 

"Hurray!!", shouts the crowd. "Now it's OUR turn!!"

 

Suddenly the town square erupts with scenes of azure carnality,

as 200 tiny blue asses appear in the sunlight. 200 raging

cocks swarm toward Smurfette's waiting and ever-willing cunt,

ready to make her scream for mercy as they scream for more. 400

bouncing balls follow each other toward the nearest available

orifice, making Smurfette wish there were more of her.

 

Those lucky enough to find access to Smurfette's fabulous form

begin their crazed humping, as others find their schlongs being

stroked as fast as she can grab. Those whose time will come later

are coming now, as their friends clutch lustily at their forbidden

fruits, flinging frothy fuck-foam far and wide.

 

Up the ass! Down the throat! Backhand, forehand, underhand, in

the armpit or behind the knee, the Smurfs erupt in a display of

orgasmic prowess to shame the most devoted student of the Kama

Sutra. Soon the street become hazardous to navigate (and navigate

one must), as the square gets deeper and deeper in the collective

come.

 

Hour after hour, the orgy rampages on.

 

Gradually, as night falls, the screams of orgasmic ecstasy turn

to the moans and sighs of deep contentment, with the occasional

whimper from an over-enthusiastic sodomite. Soon all is quiet,

as Smurf helps Smurf back to Home and Preparation H. Tubes of

Chap-Stick are quickly distributed to soothe aching lips, and

aloe gel is applied (as are lips, if it is too stimulating) to

the citizen's members to ease the burning.

 

As the exhausted (and completely sated) Smurfs lie in sexual

stupor, gentle rains come (not them, too!) to wash away all traces

of the fleshfest that was.

 

And you wondered why Smurfs are always in such a good mood...

 

(THE END)

thats what ya call left wing, dudes gettin sappy because smurfs get killed.

Originally posted by MaKeItHaPpEn@Oct 14 2005, 04:12 PM

not as bad as papa smurf getting his ass licked.

Quoted post

...yeah lick my ass bitch.

Where the hell did that come from, that little jingle has been stuck in my head ever since i heard it.

It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand in hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom-shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.

The Smurfs scatter and run in vain from the whistling bombs, before being felled by blast waves and fiery explosions. The final scene shows a scorched and tattered Baby Smurf sobbing inconsolably, surrounded by prone Smurfs.

We wanted something that was real war -- Smurfs losing arms, or a Smurf losing a head, but they said no."

that's hilarious. i would love to see a clip of this advertisement

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2681621

It's not THAT bad...

But, Biggus Dickus...That's BAAAAAAAD. In a good way.

http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/strife.html

Yea lick my ass bitch.

Oh, I expected that video to be way more shocking. It was actually kind of funny, in a fucked up sort of way. Little kids are pussies.

Originally posted by onesecondple@Oct 14 2005, 06:38 PM

what exactly is unicef? they make fun of it quite a bit in joe dirt, seriously? is it just a charity type thinggy?

Quoted post

Must be a real nice bubble you live in.

Combining fear tactics, shock advertising and nostalgia (the smurfs are something almost every adult grew up on)

Best form social/awarness marketing ever.