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Discussion in 'News' started by imported_b0b, Nov 11, 2004.

  1. imported_b0b

    imported_b0b Guest

    Seriously the rant is so good that even Seeking would have trouble matching it.



    Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

    And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

    Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

    No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

    Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

    All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

    The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

    Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

    But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

    Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

    And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off. "
  2. Nekro

    Nekro Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 19, 2003 Messages: 2,568 Likes Received: 1
    I've been meaning to say something like that for a while now.
  3. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 25, 2000 Messages: 32,278 Likes Received: 236
    wow, thats awesome.

    frankly though, i think i could top it. my last rant was intended to be absolutely ignorant and emotional. i was going for offensive not humerous. when i really get the gears turning though, i can crank out some gems. not to take anything away from this guy, he's got game for sure, but he's not much of a writer. if i get bored maybe i'll edited it for him. ha.

    seeks/hows that for arrogance?

  4. I heard his throws are pretty nice though.

    El Mamerro/I'll be here all week, folks. No seriously.
  5. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2002 Messages: 7,042 Likes Received: 2

    thing is...its just too easy to clown on those red states.
  6. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 25, 2000 Messages: 32,278 Likes Received: 236
    yeah, decent hand as well. it's a total awr/msk bite, but whatever. it looks good.

    seeks/i thought of the same thing as i wrote that.
  7. vptonbing

    vptonbing Member

    Joined: Apr 26, 2004 Messages: 690 Likes Received: 1
  8. vptonbing

    vptonbing Member

    Joined: Apr 26, 2004 Messages: 690 Likes Received: 1
    woops, that thumb should be facing up
  9. ledzep

    ledzep Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 21, 2002 Messages: 146 Likes Received: 1
  10. porque

    porque Senior Member

    Joined: May 5, 2002 Messages: 1,844 Likes Received: 0

    ...although i have to say that virginia throws a little curve in his critique...half of the founding fathers were from there...and so was james madison, who wrote the bill of rights...but the rest of them were all from mass and philly...and most of virginia sucks anyway...
  11. villain

    villain Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2002 Messages: 5,190 Likes Received: 2
    Actually I have a copy of the constitution right here:

    George Washington : President and deputy from Virginia

    New Hampshire:
    John Langdon
    Nicholas Gilman

    Nathaniel Gorham
    Rufus King

    Wm. Saml. Johnson
    Roger Sherman

    New York:
    Alexander Hamilton

    New Jersey:
    Wil: Livingston
    David Brearley
    Wm. Paterson
    Jona: Dayton

    B. Franklin
    Thomas Mifflin
    Robt Morris
    Geo. Clymer
    Thos. FitzSimons
    Jared Ingersoll
    James Wilson
    Gouv Morris

    Geo: Read
    Gunning Bedford jun
    John Dickinson
    Richard Bassett
    Iaco: Broom

    James McHenry
    Dan of St Thos. Jenifer
    Danl Carroll

    John Blair-
    James Madison, Jr.

    North Carolina:
    Wm. Blount
    Richd. Dobbs Spaight
    Hu Williamson

    South Carolina:
    J. Rutledge
    Charles Cotesworth
    Charles Pinckney
    Pierce Butler

    William Few
    Abr Baldwin

    Attest William Jackson Secretary

    It appears to me that Pennsylvania had the most delegates. And certainly our forefathers, including the ones from the south, would be rolling over in their graves if they knew we were turning into a theocracy. They friggen came here to get away from that shit and they wrote the constitution protecting us from that. (Also alot of the founding fathers did not like slavery too much either but it was too much to ask at the time for southerners to give it up).
    Also strange how George W. Bush reminds me of King George III. Maybe we need another revolution.
    Another strange thing is that, yes S. Carolina does have TWO Charles Pinckneys.... Guess they were already inbreeding! Ha, bad joke... my bad.
  12. KaBar2

    KaBar2 Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 27, 2003 Messages: 2,130 Likes Received: 66
    (yawn) Sounds like sour grapes to me. Think of us while you're shoveling snow, LOL. Anybody want to go shoot assault rifles? I'm in.
  13. bodice_ripper

    bodice_ripper Elite Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 3,195 Likes Received: 25
    sorry, but that was really fun. like hysterical.
  14. SWIMS

    SWIMS Member

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 296 Likes Received: 6
    hmmm. interesting. Ignorance to percieved decedence. The cycle never stops
  15. angelofdeath

    angelofdeath Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 15, 2002 Messages: 4,375 Likes Received: 79
    well i think your a good 10 hours from me, but i'll be seeing what i can do with my rem 700pss .308 w/leupold m3a 10x at 500 yards tomorrow.