Wonderful products found on the internet

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Everything you need to create a mold and an exact replica of your penis is included in this handy kit.

Just mix up a batch of molding material, get your emotions in motion, stick it in a cup, and voila, you have a dick mold.

Mix and pour the rubber in, let stand, and remove a perfect copy of your best feature.

The instructions offer the option of molding your scrotum separately--for a larger, more satisfying version of yourself--and instruct you in the fine art of attaching your scrotum to your penis in a pleasing manner.

It all sounds very surreal but, trust us, it’s very satisfying! Think of the shock on your lover's face when you give them your own penis dildo!

Ideal For Those Long Distance Relationships!!!!

What can you find?

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how to make crack:

1-2 grams coke

4 tablespoons baking soda

Some bottled water

Take a cookie sheet and sprinkle a light covering of coke on the bottom. No more than 1 - 1/2 tablespoons. Now, take 1 tablespoons or so of Baking Soda, and sprinkle it on top. Add 2 teaspoons of water evenly. Cook at 300 deg. for 15 min. Sprinkle Pot if you want to really do it up on top.

Add rest of coke evenly, and 2 more tablespoons of baking soda evenly.

Bake at 300 for 25-30 min.

Let sit OVERNIGHT.

Put in freezer 15-20 minutes, or until hard.

Crack off small peices and enjoy! (Water pipes are best)

:lol:

you are one bored muther-fucker.

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NEW INVENTION ALLOWS HUMANS TO LIVE FOREVER

(I guarantee that if you are not satisfied with the results brought by the Immortality Devices that you have purchased from me, you can refund your money back within 90 days starting from your purchasing date.)

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The hello kitty viborator. Sorry about the pic size.

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Don't need directions on how to make crack.

"Street Educated Mothafucka"

I think I'm going to get one of those sites where you take cam pics of yourself add a wish list and blog and slang some original "Pistol Dildo's" I bet all the chicks would scoop them up with the quickness.

NIGHTOWLS FUCKING BITCHES WORLDWIDE!

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Finding a partner for your necrophiliac activities is definitely the hardest part. You not only have to gain access to the corpse but you also have to find one which suits your tastes. Granted, some necrophiliacs would screw roadkill if given the chance but most of us are more discriminating. Your chances depend upon where you pick up your date. If you have access to a morgue it would definitely be your best bet as the corpses there are usually the freshest and have not yet been treated for burial. They may be a bit chilly because they've been lying in the meat locker for days but that really shouldn't make a big difference to the determined necrophiliac. Cemeteries are a bit harder to deal with as finding a screwable corpse is harder to do. However, if you know how to interpret signs this shouldn't be a problem. If a grave consists of a mound of fresh dirt and is covered with flowers, chances are that the stiff hasn't been laying here for too long. Rotting flowers on the mound usually hint to the state of the corpse as well. Some people are exclusively into 'porking the bone', i.e. sex with skeletons. In this case you can dig up almost any grave and hope that the inhabitant hasn't yet disintegrated into dust. Try to scope out a fairly secluded cemetery for your passions unless you like a sense of danger to go along with the sex. Having anyone catch you in the act is NOT fun, and if you're picked up by a cop chances are that you won't be able to screw anything but Bubba behind bars for the next few decades. People are generally not understanding of the necrophiliac lifestyle, so it will probably be a long time before we can come out of the closet.

Preparation

Depending upon where you are at this point you'll have either a little or a lot of work to do. The person in the morgue will obviously have to do little more than to open the locker, pull the corpse out and bang away. If you're one of the cemetery people you'll have more work to do. An experienced necrophiliac is always equipped with the bare essentials: a shovel, Vaseline and a box of rubbers. Why the shovel is needed should be obvious, but if the ground is hard then you might need more equipment to dig up your date. Vaseline is used to loosen the corpse up a bit. This makes it less likely for a body part to break off while you're having fun and it also prevents your mantool from becoming too irritated while screwing the dried out pussy. The BOX of condoms is used to play it safe; no necrophiliac should be without it. You never know which STDs your partner had during his/her lifetime, and believe me, it doesn't get any better after the person dies. You can put on more than one rubber for extra protection if it is warranted, but screwing a corpse without protection is just plain stupid unless you want to be the next date for a necrophiliac. If you're in a cemetery try to drag the corpse out of the grave and behind a bush or to another secluded place. Pumping away in the grave may seem more convenient, but it's a severe disadvantage to you if you need to take off in a hurry. Sometimes the corpse is too fragile to be moved; in that case make it fast. Or just break off the head, hand or lower torso and take it with you for added convenience.

Note from the pixel fairy: This is where i must warn you! Vaseline dissolves latex, meaning it will eat through your or dead-boy's condom. Use KY Jelly or anything else that's not oil-based.

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So now you've got a stiff lying seductively in front of you, but you have no idea how to start. How you proceed from this point onward really depends upon what kind of person you are. The corpse will last longer if you treat it gently and with care, but if you prefer to go all out you'll probably receive greater satisfaction. There are many differences between screwing a live and a dead person which one needs to be aware of. Firstly, a corpse will never tell you to get off of it if you're being a bit rough and it will never complain no matter what kinky sexual practices you use it for. Screwing a corpse is also much more predictable because you can raise an arm, leg or whatever and it will still be in that position when you reach for it again. Take the arms and gently lock them in an embrace behind your back, or spread the legs to make sex a bit easier. If you want a great blowjob then lubricate your partner's mouth, lock it to your preferred width, insert and go for it. Although there's no tongue stimulation it's still worthwhile, and it's also safer than conventional sex. Corpses can also be recycled if treated properly. If you're a proficient embalmer you can keep a corpse for over five years if it has been properly embalmed. That's free sex whenever you want it! You naturally don't want to be too rough with an embalmed corpse though as they are more fragile. One final advantage of screwing corpses is that they are always in abundance. Based upon your sexual preferences you can designate a cemetery or a morgue as your territory and always find fresh partners to screw. Plus you don't have to resort to cheesy pickup lines or spend all your money in order to get a date. necrophiliac is a passion which is cheaply satisfied

Originally posted by Dyptheria

 

Everything you need to create a mold and an exact replica of your penis is included in this handy kit.

 

hahhahaha, man this cracked me up when i read it.

oh shit...i wish i didnt read that corpe fucking thing. that freaked me out .ugh...just awful...and im doing shrooms today...:o

Originally posted by Dyptheria

The BOX of condoms is used to play it safe; no necrophiliac should be without it. You never know which STDs your partner had during his/her lifetime, and believe me, it doesn't get any better after the person dies.

The guy in the first picture is a shame to necrophiliacs worldwide. Tsk tsk.

but how does the jesus potato feel about necrophilia?

i for one, am not down.

He says there's no need for necrophilia when you can raise the dead.

what on earth was i thinking....

i really should have known that.

those necrophilia pictures = horrendously disturbing.