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Women's top ten sexual complaints

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Poop Man Bob, Oct 9, 2002.

  1. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18

    Women's Top Ten Sexual Complaints
    By Patty Lamberti

    We polled a group of women about what irks them most in the bedroom. Here are their biggest sexual grievances and how you can avoid committing such mistakes:


    [*]After he climaxes, it's over.
    Just because you're satisfied doesn't mean she is. Keep stimulating her until she's also satisfied.

    [*]Foreplay? What foreplay?
    Think of a woman as a crockpot that needs to be warmed up. You may be ready to go from the beginning, but she's not. If she moves your hands to a specific area of her body, take that as a clue that you should concentrate on that area. Chances are that when you think she's ready, she's not. Keep going at it.

    [*]We only kiss before sex.
    Women feel like the romance is gone when you only kiss her as a prelude to sex. When she least expects it -- as you watch TV or do laundry -- lay a big one on her. And don't try to get anything else.

    [*]He seems hesitant to perform oral sex on me.
    If she gets the impression that you think oral sex is gross, she won't loosen up and enjoy herself. She might also be hesitant to return the favor. Even if performing oral sex on a woman isn't your favorite thing to do, do it. Remember, it can be made more pleasurable by using whipped cream or chocolate syrup.

    [*]He can't find my G Spot.
    It's not a myth. Take some time to explore her body. Ask her over and over if you've found it.

    [*]We're in the mood for sex at different times of the day.
    She may like to have sex at night. You may like it in the morning. Sometimes you have to compromise and do it when you're not 100% in the mood. We bet you'll get into the mood pretty quickly.

    [*]He sticks his tongue in my ear to turn me on.
    What movie made you think this was appealing? Sure, a gentle tongue lap dance on the earlobe can be nice. But don't slosh around in the ear canal. Women have q-tips for that, thank you.

    [*]All dirty talk, all the time.
    Sure, women know you like to talk dirty. And we know how to do the job right. But that doesn't mean that every time we hit the sheets, we want to talk dirty. Sometimes a woman needs quiet sex. Or sex that only involves groans.

    [*]He orgasms too quickly.
    She doesn't care about your size nearly as much as you think. What she cares about is your ability to keep going. If you feel that you may orgasm, stop what you're doing and concentrate on her.

    [*]We always do it the same old way.
    Women need variety. Have sex in new places. And most importantly, learn some new positions. Check out an illustrated guide to the Kama Sutra.

  2. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    This thread just got devidfjsalkdsjflkads
  3. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
  4. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,135 Likes Received: 82
    hahahahah that's funny....

    "this thread just got al';sdjfl;kasdjf;lask"
  5. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,135 Likes Received: 82
    You know why women always take longer to climax than men???

    Who cares..... hahahahahaha, oh goodness.

    Patented 2 reply in a row Technology
  6. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202
    oh. I thought women like assholes.
  7. SukiSukiNow

    SukiSukiNow Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 15, 2001 Messages: 11,303 Likes Received: 702
    can' guys trim once in a while?
  8. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    boogie hands is not guilty on all counts....

    god im such a sex machine...
  9. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,135 Likes Received: 82
  10. fr8lover

    fr8lover Guest

  11. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

    i guess i got nothing to worry about then.

  12. I Luv Roo

    I Luv Roo Member

    Joined: Aug 20, 2001 Messages: 733 Likes Received: 0
    I don't know about the chocolate or whip cream idea... it could cause health complications. what do you think, girls?
  13. socrates

    socrates Guest

  14. griffin your face

    griffin your face Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 5, 2001 Messages: 1,289 Likes Received: 0
    If it's gonna be dirty, it shouldn't be with food. That's for god damn sure.
  15. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 14, 2000 Messages: 17,017 Likes Received: 177
    I went out with a girl that used to do this to me, not all the time, only when she was really hot to trot, but... I'd just be happily sucking tit and all of a sudden she's licking my brain, and it's all loud... I didn't find it all that keen...