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Winston Churchill's Wit

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Canadiano, Aug 21, 2002.

  1. Canadiano

    Canadiano Guest

    So apparently he would drink a lot and sleep in the parliamentary meetings. One day, the guy next to him wakes him up and tells him that his "sentry post is open" (fly is down). Churchill says,
    "Well, is the sentry alert and standing at attention? Or is he sleeping on the sandbags."

    Another time, he is at a party of some sort, and a woman comes to Sir Winston and tells him that he is drunk in a bitchy manner. Says Churchill,
    "I'm drunk, and you're ugly. Tomorrow, I'll be sober, and you will still be ugly."

    told to me by a friend, who heard these from his boss.
  2. nomadawhat

    nomadawhat Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 24, 2001 Messages: 5,001 Likes Received: 2
    haha. I likes.
  3. NATO

    NATO Guest

    i remember hearing some woman said to him "if you were my husband i would put poison in your tea" he replied "if you were my wife i'd drink it"
  4. Canadiano

    Canadiano Guest

    ^^ that's a classic.:lol:
  5. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    "Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash."

  6. dahighlifdhl

    dahighlifdhl Senior Member

    Joined: May 4, 2002 Messages: 1,430 Likes Received: 0
  7. d-town_bomber

    d-town_bomber Veteran Member

    Joined: May 20, 2001 Messages: 7,032 Likes Received: 2
  8. zen

    zen New Jack

    Joined: Sep 20, 2001 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
  9. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    that guy was a classic drunk....

    the way to make the perfect martini according to winston churchill: "fill your glass with gin and glance at a bottle of vermouth across the room"

    i can think of a few bartenders who could use that advice....sorry fucks
  10. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    I think it's a good idea to at least touch the vermooth bottle to the shaker.
    It makes a nice 'kling' sound and announces to the room that it's ready to rock.
  11. sneak

    sneak Guest

    ahahahahahaha the best one yet...
  12. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    hahha, well vermouth is a given....the point is to keep it dry though, very, very dry....

    these assholes on this 3 to 1 ratio garbage are clueless....
  13. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    oh and zesto....you do know a martini is stirred, not shaken dont you??;)
  14. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    yes... shaking bruises the liquor.

    BUT... the average 'shaker' is also a strainer, which is essential to a nice martini.
    the ice is on my wrist, not in my drink!

    I like a bit of a dirty matrini some times,
    but if the fucker just pours in olive brine
    from the bottle, I'll be sending it back.
  15. optimodub

    optimodub Junior Member

    Joined: Mar 5, 2002 Messages: 249 Likes Received: 0
    i never realised what a witty old chap sir winston was...apart from liking a drink or 10, he suffered from depression, which he called his 'black dog', when he was bad he would think about throwing himself under trains and shit like that, but fuck that, he did a pretty good job for a depressive alcoholic...hmmm, maybe a good biography to read, want to hear more of his wit