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Why do clocks run clockwise?

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Smart, Dec 4, 2001.

  1. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2000
    Messages:
    17,017

    Why do clocks run clockwise?

    Discussion started by Smart - Dec 4, 2001

    What is a fart and why does it smell?

    Ever pull someone's finger and hear a weird noise come out of his or her butt?

    Ever sit in a tub of water and see bubbles come out of your hiney?

    This strange noise and vibrating sensation that came from your butt is most likely caused by a fart.

    A fart is a combination of gases (nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane, and hydrogen sulfide) that travels from a person's stomach to their anus. When a person swallows too much air or eats foods that the human digestive system cannot digest easily gas becomes trapped in his/her stomach. The only way for this excess gas to exit the body is through the anus.

    The gas that makes your farts stink is the hydrogen sulfide gas. This gas contains sulfur which causes farts to have a smelly odor. The more sulfur rich your diet, the more your farts will stink. Some foods that cause really smelly farts include: beans, cabbage, cheese, soda, and eggs.

    A scientific name for a fart is flatus or flatulence.

    The word fart is just one of many different terms used to describe the release of gasses from the human body. Other popular names for farts or farting include: gassers, stinkers, air biscuits, bombers, barking spiders, rotten eggs, and wet ones. You can pass gas, break wind, blast, beef, poof, rip one, let one fly, step on a duck, and cut the cheese.

    Farts can be stinky, wet, loud, or silent but deadly. Pee-eeew!!!

    Did you know?
    On the average, a healthy person farts 16 times a day.
    Hey guys, don't be fooled by girls who tell you that they never fart. Everyone farts, including girls. In fact, females fart just as much as males.
    Many animals fart too. Cats, dogs, and cows. Elephants fart the most.
    People fart the most in their sleep.
    Farts that contain a large amount of methane & hydrogen can be flammable.
     
    Smart - Rank: Dirty Dozen Crew - Messages:
    17,017
    - Joined:
    Apr 14, 2000
  2. BROWNer

    BROWNer Guest

    BROWNer - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    ..some people put a flame between their legs when they fart,
    this is called, among other things, a 'blue angel'...
    not a good idea if you're hairy:eek:
     
  3. dr. frink one

    dr. frink one 12oz Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2001
    Messages:
    3,638

    dr. frink one - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    Where does fart gas come from?

    The gas in our intestines comes from several sources: air we swallow, gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, gas
    produced by chemical reactions in our guts, and gas produced by bacteria living in our guts.


    What is fart gas made of?

    The composition of fart gas is highly variable.
    Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the
    intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between
    stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial
    action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.
    But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our anal opening depend on several factors: what we ate,
    how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.
    The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of boring, inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to
    be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.
    A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of
    oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen.
    Encyclopaedia Britannica offers the intriguing statement that some people's farts contain no methane. The reason for this is
    apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the anomaly is due to
    environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.


    What makes farts stink?

    The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds
    contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich
    your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will
    stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large
    amounts of not particularly stinky farts.


    Why do farts make noise?

    The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. Sounds depend on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the
    tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus.


    Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?

    (Question submitted by many, many people!)

    Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been
    absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and more
    odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body
    temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not
    always!) mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm.
    Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a
    byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky
    bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD (Silent-But-Deadly), often in amounts too small to
    produce a good sound, but excelling in stench.

    How much gas does a normal person pass per day?

    On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily
    farts.
    Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily
    numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your
    farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you
    eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell.


    How does a fart travel to the anus?

    (Question submitted by Sigfrido H.)

    One may wonder why fart gas travels downward toward the anus when gas has a lower density than liquids and solids,
    and should therefore travel upwards.
    The intestine squeezes its contents toward the anus in a series of contractions, a process called peristalsis. The process is
    stimulated by eating, which is why we often need to poop and fart right after a meal. Peristalsis creates a zone of high
    pressure, forcing all intestinal contents, gas included, to move towards a region of lower pressure, which is toward the anus.
    Gas is more mobile than other components, and small bubbles coalesce to from larger bubbles en route to the exit. When
    peristalsis is not active, gas bubbles may begin to percolate upwards again, but they won't get very far due to the
    complicated and convoluted shape of the intestine. Furthermore, the anus is neither up nor down when a person is lying
    down.

    How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else's nose?

    (Question submitted by SteF)

    Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the
    molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse
    (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within
    a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.
    Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a
    car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long
    period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

    Why is there a 13 to 20 second delay between farting and the time it starts to smell?

    (Question submitted by B_read)

    Actually, the fart stinks immediately upon emergence, but it takes several seconds for the odor to travel to the farter's
    nostrils. If farts could travel at the speed of sound, we would smell them almost instantly, at the same time we hear them.

    Is it true that some people never fart?

    No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death.


    Do even movie stars fart?

    (Question submitted by Mermaid2006)

    Yes, of course. So do grandmothers, priests, kings, presidents, opera singers, beauty queens, and nuns. Even Yoda farts.

    Do men fart more than women?

    (Submitted by Bigdude)

    No, women fart just as much as men. It's just that most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large
    variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender.
    I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas
    per fart than men do.

    Do men's farts smell worse than women's farts?

    Based on what I have experienced of women's farts, all I can say is that I hope not.

    At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart?

    (Submitted by David)

    A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder,"
    and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household.

    Why are beans so notorious for making people fart?

    Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. When these sugars reach our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a
    big feast, and make lots of gas!
    Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell peppers, cabbage, milk, and raisins.
    A friend of mine had a dog who was exceptionally fond of apples and turnips. The dog would eat these things and then
    get prodigious gas. A dog's digestive system is not equipped to handle such vegetable matter, so the dog's bacteria worked
    overtime to produce remarkable flatulence.


    What things other than diet can make a person fart more than usual?

    People who swallow a lot of air fart more than people who don't. This can be cured somewhat by chewing with your
    mouth closed. Nervous people with fast moving bowels will fart more because less air is absorbed out of the intestines.
    Some disease conditions can cause excess flatulence. And going up in an airplane or other low-pressure environment can
    cause the gas inside you to expand and emerge as flatulence.


    Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end?

    No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric
    gas content and more bacterial gas content than burps.


    Is it harmful to hold in farts?

    There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad
    for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There
    was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts.
    Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison
    you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a
    stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a
    person holds in farts too much.

    How long would it be possible to not fart?

    (Question submitted by Ineed69too)

    As I understand it, a captive fart can escape as soon as the person relaxes. This means that a lot of people who
    assiduously refrain from farting during the day do so at great length as soon as they fall asleep. Having been on a great
    many overnight field trips, long bus trips, and trans-Pacific flights, I can personally vouch for the fact that lots of people do
    fart voluminously as they doze off. So the answer to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you can
    stay awake!

    Do all people fart in their sleep?

    (Question submitted by MrBlack)

    I have not made a scientific study of this, but I don't think all people fart in their sleep. I think mainly those who refuse to
    fart when they're awake do so when dozing off. For other people, toilet training takes such a strong hold that they let
    nothing pass their sphincters in sleep. For these people, the gas accumlates in the night and they vent it upon awakening.

    Where do farts go when you hold them in?

    How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has
    disappeared when you are ready for it?
    I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into the
    bloodstream? What happens to it?
    The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and
    comes out later.
    It is reassuring to know that such farts aren't really lost, just delayed.

    How can one cover up a fart?

    (Question submitted by Mouseweed)

    There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught
    without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind
    must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill.
    As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to
    you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that
    they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may
    believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart.
    CJT addresses the problem of farting loudly in a public restroom as follows: "My solution: use a handful of loose toilet
    paper, cover your butt hole and it will muffle the farting; my friends and I call it the 'Buff Muff'!"
    Depending upon the company, another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand
    accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others to outdo that one if they think they can.

    Is it really possible to ignite farts?

    The answer to that is yes! However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the
    flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch on fire. A survey done by Fartcloud (the
    site, alas! is no more) indicates that about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of
    flatulence is a hazardous practice. However, if you want to try it, and you don't have a friend to light your fart for you, you
    might find it easier to accomplish the job using the Fartlighter.
    There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during
    surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon.

    Why is possible to burn farts?

    Farts burn because they contain methane (usually) and hydrogen, both of which are flammable gases. (Hydrogen was the
    same gas that was used in the ill fated Hindenburg dirigible.)
    Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame.

    Is it possible to light a match with a fart?

    (Question submitted by Brocolli)

    No, even strike-anywhere matches have their limits, unless the fart has the consistency of sandpaper! Any fart that rough
    I would hesitate to call a fart. Also, farts have the same temperature as the body from which they emerge, and aren't hot
    enough to initiate combustion.

    Are there any books about farting?

    There are several! My favorite is the new book, Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart by Jim Dawson. This
    book provides an entertaining and thought-provoking history of the fart in literature, language and society. It is very
    informative and very funny!
    Ben Franklin's classic Fart Proudly is still in print.
    There is a collection of suggestive photographs called Who Farted Now? by St. Martin's Press. Most of the photos come
    from old movies and political shots.
    For children, we have the famous The Gas We Pass : The Story of Farts by Shinta Cho, and Amanda Mayer Stinchecum
    (Translator), and the Canadian picture book, Good Families Don't, by Alan Daniel and Robert N. Munsch, about a highly
    visible fart infesting a proper middle class family.



    Aside from the other good
    stuff in Kids Shenanigans, this
    book comes with a whoopie
    cushion!


    The Fart Guys are talented
    guys who bring us songs,
    skits and sound effects.
    Possibly the funniest CD
    you'll ever own.


    Here it is: Who Cut the
    Cheese? It's the best fart book
    out there.


    The Unspeakably Worst Fart
    Book is an illustrated guide to
    types of farts.


    Is it possible for a talented person to earn a living through flatulence?

    Few people earn their living directly via flatulence. But a friend of mine says that he saw a carnival act in which the
    performer whistled tunes with his farts, blew out candles on the opposite side of the stage, and sent flames all the way
    across the stage. A famous performer who earned his living this way was Le Petomane, who performed in France at the
    beginning of the 20th Century. However, my friend isn't old enough to have seen Le Petomane, so maybe he had a chance to
    see Mr. Methane. Mr. Methane lays claim to the distinction of being the world's only performing flatulist. Click here to
    listen to Mr. Methane, whose CD can be purchased at the FartMart.
    However, people may also earn a living through the prevention of flatulence (as do the manufacturers and sellers of
    Beano and other products), through the practice of medicine specializing in the treatment of flatulence and other
    gastrointestinal problems, by writing books about flatulence (see the question before this one), and through the production
    and sales of various fart gags such as whoopee cushions and farts in a can.
    Fartypants sells a fart filter and a number of other fart-related products.
    Ultratech Products, Inc., sells the Flatulence Filter, "an activated carbon air filter disguised as a seat cushion." (This link
    was discovered by Steve of Boulder, CO.)
    Maybe, if you're lucky, you'll be able to find a copy of Le Petomane's biography by searching at alibris by clicking on the
    link below. Last time I checked, they had two copies available!


    Search by Title : Le Petomane

    What other fart products are available?

    You can visit the FartMart to obtain an astounding number of wonderful fart products, including the famous Crepitation
    Contest CD, and several other recordings, Pull-My-Finger Fred (a doll that responds with farts and wisecracks), whoopie
    cushions and a variety of other fart-noise generating products (some of which are quite high tech), some products which
    produce a fart-like odor, prosthetic poop, fart sludge, and the famous Fart Machine.



    Why do dog and cat farts smell so bad?

    A carnivore's protein-rich diet produces relatively small amounts of intensely stinky gas because proteins contain lots of
    sulfur. A dog's or cat's farts are rarely audible, but the odor is overwhelming. I have asked biologists why dogs and cats
    generally fart silently, and their theories include: (1) the amount of gas produced is small, but potent, (2) the horizontal
    orientation of their gastrointestinal system puts less pressure on the anal opening, so the gas is expelled more slowly, (3)
    their anal sphincters don't close as tightly as humans' because it takes less force to hold in the contents of the colon -- again
    because of the horizontal orientation of the gastrointestinal system -- and a loose anus makes less sound, and, my favorite
    (4) dogs and cats don't feel embarrassed about farting, so their sphincters are more relaxed, leading to less noisy flatulence.
    Mike F. points out that many dog foods are soy-based, so on top of all the above factors, add beans and stand back!
    Large herbivorous animals such as cows, horses and elephants, on the other hand, produce vast quantities of relatively
    non-stinky fart gas. The farts of these animals are noisy and can go on for astoundingly long periods of time. Cows in
    particular are productive, in part because they swallow huge amounts of air. They need oxygen in their guts for the various
    protozoa employed there as digestive aids.


    Is it normal for dogs to like the smell of human farts?

    (Question submitted by ahmed7700)

    Yes, any odor that we find disgusting smells delicious to a dog. Dogs respond to the smell of farts, rotting fish, and
    carrion the same way we respond to the smell of bacon frying or cookies baking. A dog will often sniff the butt of the farter
    in order to inhale as much of the odor as possible.
    I have heard only one story about a dog being disconcerted by a fart. According to a friend, her brother once delivered a
    fart so evil that it made the dog sneeze, shake his head, and paw at his nose. That was either an unusual fart or an unusual
    dog.

    Do fish fart?

    According to our ichthyologist at the University of Guam, fish flatulence per se has not been studied, although people
    have investigated fish digestion. They find that although most fish have alkaline intestinal environments like our own,
    coral-eating fish have acidic intestinal contents. The acid serves to dissolve coral skeletal material. Coral has the same
    composition as Tums (calcium carbonate). One product of the reaction between acid and calcium carbonate is carbon dioxide
    gas. Therefore, it is logical to assume that coral-eating fish fart a lot.
    The other fish probably fart also, for the same reasons that we do.
    However, Mike Pulte, a great fish enthusiast, said that he has never seen a fish do it.
    I asked our ichthyologist if it were possible that fish gas would go into the swim bladder instead of out the anal opening.
    He said that modern fish have an air bladder that is independent of the gastrointestinal tract. The gas comes from enzymatic
    activity and not from the intestine. Older models of fish have their swim bladder connected to the gastrointestinal tract, but
    it is attached high up, closer to the mouth than to the other end, and these fish come to the surface and gulp air to fill the
    bladder. Therefore, we can assume that intestinal gas leaves the fish through the anal opening.
    We also pondered the possibility of fish making noise via flatulence, but apparently most fish noises are made through
    belching rather than farting.
    Lisa P., an aquarium enthusiast, reports that she has seen her fish fart: "I have four aquariums and many fish, and I have
    personally witnessed fish farting! My goldfish used to do it all the time! You'd see a little bubble come out of his anus and
    stay there, trapped in the mucus of a long string of poop. (Ugh!) And my opaline gourami does it too. Neither of these are
    coral-eating fish. I have only owned two coral-eating fish so far, but I have never seen either of them fart. It seems most
    likely to me that much of this gas comes from air swallowed during eating. Also, goldfish have a very simple digestive
    system and their food is absorbed inefficiently, so possibly the bacteria have more to feed on?"


    Do turtles fart?

    (Question submitted by coolBettyann)

    Yes, turtles do fart, and their farts smell incredibly bad, as do the farts of snakes. In fact, it is my opinion, based on
    personal experience with reptiles and not on any formal research, that many reptiles use farts as a weapon.
    Reptile farts smell so bad that sometimes you can tell that one is nearby in the woods, even on a windy day, before you
    can see the animal. One day I was hiking through the woods in Arkansas with a friend and I told my friend, "I smell a snake
    fart." A second later, the snake crawled across the path. Astounding but true!
    In an article published in the December 2000 issue of Discover, "the world's leading expert on snake sounds," Bruce Young
    of LaFayette College in Easton, Pennsylvania, affirmed that snakes do fart. The sonoran coral snake and the western
    hook-nosed snake fart with an audible popping sound when disturbed.

    Why do horse farts smell worse than people's farts?

    (Question submitted by jawsoccer48)

    I'm not sure that horse farts smell worse than our farts, but they do smell different. Horses have a different diet from us
    and different gut microbes, so their farts have a different composition. They also fart more voluminously than humans, and
    the volume of the gas can be overwhelming if one is unfortunate enough to be near a farting horse indoors.

    What kind of animal has the highest worldwide output of flatulence?

    Believe it or not, the animal that wins this honor is the humble termite. Because of their diet and digestive processes (with
    more than the usual microbial assistance), they produce as much methane as human industry. Termite farts are believed to
    be a major contributor towards global warming.


    Is it true that cow farts contribute to global warming?

    Recent research has shown that most methane produced by cows and sheep emerges from the mouth rather than the
    anus. So one could more accurately say that cow and sheep belches are contributing to global warming. New Zealand
    researchers are investigating methods of breeding methane-free sheep.

    Is there any kind of animal that doesn't fart?

    (Question submitted by Funsux)

    If we define a fart to be an anal escape of intestinal gas, then it follows that animals that lack intestines or an anus cannot
    fart. Most animals possess intestines and an anus, but there are some that don't. These include:
    Sponges: These organisms lack true tissues and organs. They have just a few types of cells organized into a bag with
    holes in it. Water flows into some holes and out other holes. Sponges are so different from other animals that some
    biologists think we shouldn't even call them animals.
    Cnidaria: This phylum includes the jellyfish, corals, sea anemones and hydra. Their tissues are organized into a bag with a
    mouth surrounded by stinging tentacles. Food enters the mouth and is digested inside the bag, after which the leftovers are
    expelled via the same opening. In effect, the same hole serves as both a mouth and an anus. Any gas expelled by a cnidarian
    would be more appropriately termed a belch rather than a fart, since the animal lacks intestines and separate anus.
    Pogonophoran worms: These remarkable animals, who dwell on the sea floor near active volcanic regions associated with
    mid-ocean ridges, possess no mouth, no stomach, no intestines, and no anus. Apparently they retain their svelte,
    worm-shaped figures by giving up on eating completely! They survive by means of a mutualistic relationship with
    chemosynthetic bacteria that live in their flesh. Anyway, these animals cannot possibly fart.

    A second category of animals that probably don't fart are animals that live very deep underwater. At high pressures, gas
    remains in solution rather than forming bubbles. So there is a good chance that all those clams, echinoderms, fish and other
    animals living near the seafloor don't fart because their farts stay in solution and never emerge as bubbles, even though the
    animals possess perfectly good intestines and anuses.

    Is it possible to leave a brown spot on your pants because of a fart, and if so, what causes
    it?

    Judging from what I see when I do the laundry, I'd say that the answer to the first question is definitely yes.
    As for the causes, we must remember that what we call "fart" and what we call "poop" are just end-members of a
    continuum. That is, we can have a pure fart, or a pure poop, or anything in-between, depending upon the admixture of the
    two.
    If a sample consists mostly of poop with only a small fart component, you get such things as jet-propelled bowel
    movements and spongy, floating fecal masses (you know, the ones that refuse to be flushed down the toilet -- they keep
    popping back up).
    If the sample consists mostly of fart with only a small poop component, you get what is known as "skid marks" or "fart
    art." These can also result from inadequate wiping, but the shape of the stain is different in the two cases. Inadequate
    wiping leads to elongate marks parallel to one's crack, usually with well-defined edges, whereas fart art is generally more
    circular and has an air-brushed look.
    Fart art is most likely to occur if (1) a person is suffering from diarrhea, (2) the person is trying too hard to fart, and (3) the
    person mistakenly perceives the pressure against his sphincter to be gas pressure rather than liquid pressure. Again, that
    last situation is most likely to occur if the person is afflicted with diarrhea.

    How can we tell when it's only gas needing to come out, rather than something more
    serious?

    (Question submitted by BSneed)

    Our ability to distinguish between the need to fart and the need to poop is something that we learn gradually in the
    process of toilet training and early childhood. With the tactile nerve endings in the rectal area, we can actually feel different
    sensations depending upon what is waiting by the exit. Of course, sometimes we are fooled, especially if the substance at
    hand is extremely fluid in nature, and that is when we have the unfortunate accident of venting a squirt of diarrhea rather
    than an innocent fart.

    What is the best position for farting?

    (Question submitted by Dylan)

    That depends on what you are trying to achieve.
    Years and years ago, I read a novel (can't remember which) that had a character in it who was plagued with intestinal gas
    pain. The character would coax farts out by getting down on all fours with her butt in the air, pressing her thighs against her
    belly. So perhaps this is the best position for farting if you are having difficulty getting them to come out.

    stolen from facts on farts
     
    dr. frink one - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
    3,638
    - Joined:
    Jun 7, 2001
  4. bug

    bug Guest

    bug - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    i read the first half form smart's post, then two paragraphs from dr frink and suddenly realized that i don't wanna know these things about farts. it would just "normalize" farts to me making me even less sociable. nope, don't want a reasonable explaination about farts, i'll just stick with the popular perception on this one. call me a conformist...
     
  5. imported_Tesseract - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    Great Post:D
    All i have to say is that the silent ones are the lethal ones,
    Like people
     
  6. bumdigger

    bumdigger Guest

    bumdigger - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    the scoop on poop!

    What is poop made of?
    About 3/4 of your average turd is made of water. Of course, this value is highly variable - the water content of diarrhea is much higher, and the amount of water in poop that has been retained (voluntarily or otherwise) is lower. Water is absorbed out of fecal material as it passes through the intestine, so the longer a turd resides inside before emerging, the drier it will be.
    Of the remaining portion of the turd, about 1/3 is composed of dead bacteria. These microcorpses come from the intestinal garden of microorganisms that assist us in the digestion of our food. Another 1/3 of the turd mass is made of stuff that we find indigestible, like cellulose, for instance. This indigestible material is called "fiber," and is useful in getting the turd to move along through the intestine, perhaps because it provides traction. The remaining portion of the turd is a mixture of fats such as cholesterol, inorganic salts like phosphates, live bacteria, dead cells and mucus from the lining of the intestine, and protein.
    Why does poop stink?
    Poop stinks as a result of the products of bacterial action. Bacteria produce smelly, sulfur- or nitrogen-rich organic compounds such as indole, skatole, and mercaptans, and the inorganic gas hydrogen sulfide. These are the same compounds that give farts their odor.
    Why is poop brown?
    The color comes mainly from bilirubin, a pigment that arises from the breakdown of red blood cells in the liver and bone marrow. The actual metabolic pathway of bilirubin and its byproducts in the body is very complicated, so we will simply say that a lot of it ends up in the intestine, where it is further modified by bacterial action. But the color itself comes from iron. Iron in hemoglobin in red blood cells gives blood its red color, and iron in the waste product bilirubin gives rise to its brown color.
    What other colors of poop are possible?
    Poop is mostly shades of brown or yellow, but other colors can arise under certain circumstances. For example, someone with a bleeding ulcer might have tarry black poop from the presence of partially digested blood. Bleeding in the intestine, from an anal fissure or split, for example, can stain the poop red. Bloody poop can also be a sign of colon cancer, so you should get it checked out by a doctor if you see blood in your stool. Some illnesses in babies gives them green or even blue-green poop. But another source of blue poop in children is more innocent: it can come from eating a concentrated source of blue food coloring such as ice cream. Intense red food coloring can produce bright red poop. Sometimes brightly colored foods pass through the gut almost unchanged, and the turd may be speckled with bright red fragments such as pimentos, or bright yellow kernels of corn.
    Poop can also be stained red if you eat beets, according to Ellen.
    One can experience white poop after consuming a barium milkshake for the purposes of getting an x-ray of the upper gastrointestinal tract.
    What is the cause of yellow poop?
    According to Michael F., one cause of this is Gilbert's Syndrome. "I have a benign condition known as Gilbert's Syndrome. It affects quite a few people, males mostly, in their teens+. It is a deficiency in the liver where red blood cells are broken down. I was informed when this was diagnosed that the broken down blood cells is what gives poop a lot of its color. People with Gilbert's Syndrome don't process as many blood cells - or not as fast - and their poop tends to be pale brown or yellow from the lower quantity of discarded red blood cell matter. This is especially true if there is less matter in your intestines (i.e., on a diet - as I have noticed) to remove the excess blood cells. Very frightening until you determine what is causing it. Gilbert's is a totally benign thing that doesn't harm anyone, although when a person is sick they can turn yellowish as if jaundiced, but it is not jaundice."
    Another cause of yellow poop is a giardia infection. Giardia are tiny Protozoan parasites that can invade the intestines and result in severe yellow diarrhea. It is a dangerous and contagious affliction that doctors are obligated to report to the Center for Disease Control.
    What is the cause of green poop?
    (Question submitted by ap, CrAzYMiC98 and several others)
    I have consulted with a doctor, a physiologist and a microbiologist on this question, and the following summarizes their answers:
    Healthy people can have green poop if they eat a diet rich in leafy green vegetables, or if they consume large quantities of food coloring (in ice cream, cake frosting etc.).
    Green poop can also be caused by excess iron in the diet, from dietary supplements, for example. If the body does not absorb all the iron consumed, the iron may stain the poop green, the color of iron (II) salts. Ordinarily, the green color may be masked by the normal brown poop color, but if digestion is thrown off by illness so that bilirubin is less concentrated in the intestine, the green color may become apparent. This can happen when a person is afflicted with diarrhea.
    Green poop in sick babies may come from iron in baby formula not being properly absorbed, or by green pigments in bile salts (again, green from iron).

    Why is bird poop white?
    (Question submitted by Sarah Beth)
    Unlike mammals, birds don't urinate. Their kidneys extract nitrogenous wastes from the bloodstream, but instead of excreting it as urea dissolved in urine as we do, they excrete it in the form of uric acid. Uric acid has a very low solubility in water, so it emerges as a white paste. This material, as well as the output of the intestines, emerges from the bird's cloaca. The cloaca is a multi-purpose hole for birds: their wastes come out of it, they have sex by putting their cloacas together, and females lay eggs out of it.

    Why do dogs (and other animals) eat poop?
    Many animals eat poop on a regular basis. These include rabbits, rodents, gorillas, many insects such as dung beetles and flies, and yes, dogs. (Keep that in mind the next time a dog wants to lick you!) Herbivores such as rabbits and rodents eat their own poop because their diet of plants is hard to digest efficiently, and they have to make two passes at it to get everything out of the meal. This is equivalent to a cow chewing its cud, only cows are able to re-eat their food without having to poop it out first. Another reason why animals eat poop is that poop contains vitamins produced by their intestinal bacteria. The animal is unable to absorb the vitamins through the intestinal wall, but can get at them by eating the poop. Another reason that animals such as dogs and flies eat poop is that poop contains a certain amount of protein. Dogs are particularly fond of cat poop because cat poop is high in protein. I had a friend with a dog and a cat, and he never had to clean the kitty litter. The dog took care of it.

    Are there people who eat poop?
    Yes, we all have, at one point or another. One of the main ways that diseases and parasites spread is through the consumption of food and water contaminated with feces. This happens because people don't wash their hands carefully after pooping or changing a diaper or scratching their butt. It can also happen through careless disposal of diapers. Our microbiologist here on Guam says that one dirty diaper in Tumon Bay can send the bacteria count through the ceiling.
    But of course, what you want to know is, are there people who eat poop on purpose? Again, the answer is yes. In rare instances, people with severe developmental and psychological disorders practice pica, the consumption of non-food items, including coprophagy, the ingestion of feces. The behavior may also be observed among very young toddlers. Coprophagy is also listed as an unusual sexual practice in the encyclopedia of that name. Some people who practice sexual coprophagy say that only a lover's poop is good to eat; all other poop (including their own) makes them gag.
    I have personally known only one person who ate poop on purpose, and she only did it once, when she was about four years old. She says she was curious about what it tasted like. When asked what poop does taste like, she replies, "About like you'd expect."
    By the way, for all of you who are wondering, the author of this page does NOT eat poop.

    Can you get sick from eating poop?
    (Question submitted by Wendell)
    Yes, you can definitely get sick from eating poop, even in minute quantities! Although urine emerges sterile from the body (unless the person has an infection), poop emerges loaded with bacteria and sometimes other life forms. Many diseases, including food poisoning, cholera and typhus, are spread by fecal contamination. Many parasites, such as the notorious tapeworm, can be spread through deliberate or accidental ingestion of poop.
    There are some parasites, such as pinworms, who depend on people eating their own poop to keep the population up. Pinworms are small nematodes that live in the colon. The females emerge from the anus at night to lay their eggs. Their activity makes the anal area itch. The person scratches the itch (often doing so in his sleep), procuring a small amount of fecal matter and eggs under his fingernails, and then puts his fingers in his mouth. Once the eggs are consumed, the person is infected with a new generation of pinworms.
    I have read that almost everyone has pinworms. Luckily, pinworms don't do much harm. You only notice them if you have a lot of pinworms! If you want to find out if you do indeed have them, get someone to gently touch around your anal area with Scotch tape while you are sleeping. The worms will stick to the tape and you'll be able to see them.

    What causes diarrhea?
    (Question submitted by Travis)
    Diarrhea is caused by irritation in the intestines, resulting in the bowel passing its contents too fast for the water to be absorbed. There can be several causes, including infection by bacteria or viruses, irritation caused by unfamiliar foods, food allergies, chronic illnesses such as inflammatory bowel disease, lactose intolerance, medications, and nervousness. If it's a persistant problem, don't mess around - see a doctor.

    Do most people wipe their left-over poop standing up or while sitting on the pot, and are there gender differences?
    (Question submitted by ICEMAN)
    This isn't really scientific, but I did a quick survey, and everyone asked (including both males and females) said that they wipe sitting down. (Marko wrote to ask, "Am I the only person who wipes standing up? Surely not...") There was even a reason provided: that sitting down spreads the cheeks apart and makes access easier. This survey was done on Guam, and Guam is technically part of the United States, and most people here probably use American toilet habits. However, if you travel a bit, you will discover that people deal with left-over poop in different ways in other parts of the world.
    In Europe, for example, that water fountain in the bathroom isn't for drinking. It's a bidet for hosing off after using the toilet.
    In Southeast Asia, you don't sit on the toilet at all. The toilet is a low, porcelain-lined trench, and the user squats over it. Next to the toilet is a bin of water. You scoop water out of the bin with your left hand and use that to cleanse yourself. You aren't supposed to use your left hand for any other purpose.

    How come when you eat corn, no matter how much you chew it, you poop it out in whole kernals?
    (Question submitted by Timzx)
    Corn poop is one of the greatest mysteries in life. I grew up pondering the same question. This is what I think is happening:
    When we chew corn, the outer coating slips off the inner kernal. This outer yellow coating is almost entirely cellulose, and is indigestible. It passes through the gut untouched, and emerges looking like a whole kernal, although it is mostly just the outer skin. The inside of the kernal is starchy and digestible, and that is the part that we succeed in chewing up.
     
  7. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris 12oz Veteran Member

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    Zack Morris - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    that put a smile and a half on my face...fart art and air biscuits.
     
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  8. sectorTVA

    sectorTVA 12oz Senior Member

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    sectorTVA - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    word, i used to live on guam...ive been to tumon bay and ive been to UOG, university of guam...i had no idea they were involved in the study of flatulence and fecal matter....
     
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  9. wakassOATH

    wakassOATH Guest

    wakassOATH - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    hehehe i farted 3 times while reading that
     
  10. GorbortOrman

    GorbortOrman Guest

    GorbortOrman - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    my most loudest and brutal farts are when im still in bed and waking up, i'll pass some nasty gas... rockin science!
     
  11. BIG T

    BIG T 12oz Member

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    BIG T - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    PULL MY FINGER!!! :D :D :D
     
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  12. Rhubarb

    Rhubarb Guest

    Rhubarb - Replied Dec 4, 2001

    i wish i could bump this with a fart noise.
     
  13. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Smart - Replied Apr 15, 2003

    do you smell that?
     
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  14. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

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    Dick Quickwood - Replied Apr 15, 2003

    clocks turn clockwise because they are wise:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
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  15. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    willy.wonka - Replied Apr 15, 2003

    :lol:

    great thread.
    i put jiminy the cricket talking about the sence of smell to farts and figured that im actually tasting shit when i get a big wiff of it.