"We Don't Do That In This House"

When i was younger, you'd dig spending the night at a friends house or just kicking it there for the afternoon.

But with the good, you take the bad.

I always hated dealing with the lame ass rules some parents would lay down on you when you went about business as if you were at your own home.

1. "We don't waste food here." this little number would most frequently be dropped when you'd spend the night and either dinner or breakfast would put the F in funk. I usually would slop the food into a nearby potted plant.

2. "We don't use sugar here." I had one normal friend with bugged out hippie parents that would not allow sugar in the house. The mom once made us Carub chip cookies with some weird soy sweetner. Disgusting. I snuck him some sugar in a ziplock bag one time for his cereal.

3. "We don't swear in this house." sure, you don't say fuck or any of the other big five in front of grown up but words like "Darn" or "Jerk"? I was once asked to just say "fiddlesticks" (?)

Eventually I was banned from playing with one kid for using the word "hell"

4. "Time for bed!" yeah....at seven in the fucking evening. What?

5. "Now we say grace." my family never did that grace thing before meals. When other families did it, I got really creeped out. I closed my eyes and thought about Star Wars or Gi-Joe.

Share some of your stories concerning conflicting values and/or lame ass rules of other childhood households

When i was younger had a friend whos mom might have had some kind of claustrophobia because everytime i went to their house id forget that they never closed their doors. So id close the door from the living room to the dining room and his mom would start to go apeshit "NO CLOSED DOORS!" "NO CLOSED DOOOOOOOOORS!" Jesus what this bitch's problem was i never knew, My friend said that anytime she pissed him off, he go and close every door in the house and she damn near have a nervous breakdown. Only time they closed their doors was at night and the dad had to do it because she refused to close them.

That bitch needed some serious sitdown time with Dr. Phil or something.

When i saw "Next Friday" and they had that one mexican guy going "No more locked doors, no more locked doors" That was fucking funny because it reminded me so much of how that bitch used to be.

It got me wondering, maybe she spent time in the pen.

my friends mom was a meth head and had locks on the fridge and she would drive her car all the way up to the front doorstep. and would freak out if you didn't lock the doors.

i used to hate staying the night at people's houses. shit, i'd chill til 3 in the morning, but when it came to sleeping, i got the fuck up outta there.

anyway, the times i did try to stay over this one friend's house, we'd never do anything. this nigga had a super nintendo, a sega genesis, a big screen tv, deluxe board games with gold and silver pieces, wrestling toys, and a pool. he'd g me up like, "yeah man, we're gonna do this, this, and this! it's gonna be phat!" we'd just sit around while his alcoholic father watched nascar and shouted at his kids using some incoherent drunk language and his mother chain-smoked, aggravating her emphysema. we'd have to be in bed by like 8 or 9, and you had to practically whisper when talking. the only good thing about going there is i saw my first set of tits when his sister told her brothers to close their eyes while she changed her shirt. they did, i didn't.

Originally posted by destroya@May 13 2005, 07:33 PM

they did, i didn't.

Quoted post

:haha:

my freinds mom raised up her shirt and showed me her new bra once, she bought me a 40 one time, i'm not sure if she knew it was for me though.

dude, hve you guys ever been to some kids house and it smells really wierd?

oh yeah. my freind's grandma's apartment always had this smell, it wasn't a bad smell, but weird, like soap and something burning. a time or two, the cigarettes i got from him tasted like his house smelled.

YO DAWG WE USED TO SHOOT BURNERS AND SHIT AND THIS DUDES PARENTS WERE LIKE DON'T SHOOT THAT SHIT AND I WAS LIKE FUCK YOU I'M FROM THE STREETS AND SHIT MAN I DIDN'T HAVE A CHILDHOOD

My friend told me once that when he would visit his friends house they would make him wash his hands before he looked at photos.

This one girls parents i knew were a bit too supportive of her graf...Writers would be in and out of her house and her parents would call them by what they wrote a lot of the times, I'm not kidding her dad would go bombing around the block sometimes and be like "put me up" It was always fun at her house. Last i heard she was around the world hitting cleans.

oh shit thats crazy

Damn Lens, your buddies parents sound like Ned and Maud Flanders. :yuck:

Originally posted by fatbastard@May 14 2005, 05:35 AM

My friend told me once that when he would visit his friends house they would make him wash his hands before he looked at photos.

 

This one girls parents i knew were a bit too supportive of her graf...Writers would be in and out of her house and her parents would call them by what they wrote a lot of the times, I'm not kidding her dad would go bombing around the block sometimes and be like "put me up" It was always fun at her house. Last i heard she was around the world hitting cleans.

Quoted post

If that's true that's hillarious! :haha:

What's the girl write?

I never really went to kids houses if their parents were wack like that..so i cant remember any BUT i do remember my best friends house and their crazy family antics.

this kids couldent NOT get in a fight with them...anything could and would be faught about...and after a while of screaming at each other..one of the fols would look at me and say "I THINK ITS TIME FOR CRAMPS TO GO HOME" cuz for some reason they didnt want to say it "directly" to me..it was funny..

after a while of chilling there when a fight would start up..i would wait five min...then show my self to the door if it didnt let up.

one time i remember...the dudes pops asked him to roll up a sleeping bag...my boy wasnt having it..shit went down..crying..punching screaming..just one big ass fit..and the dad sitting there asking "WHY are you doing this?? its just a fucking sleeping bag!"

his mom made me some hot coco and we watched and laughed till he poped the F bomb and i had to leave.

good times

Originally posted by CRAMPS@May 14 2005, 08:16 AM

I never really went to kids houses if their parents were wack like that..so i cant remember any BUT i do remember my best friends house and their crazy family antics.

 

this kids couldent NOT get in a fight with them...anything could and would be faught about...and after a while of screaming at each other..one of the fols would look at me and say  "I THINK ITS TIME FOR CRAMPS TO GO HOME" cuz for some reason they didnt want to say it "directly" to me..it was funny..

 

after a while of chilling there when a fight would start up..i would wait five min...then show my self to the door if it didnt let up.

 

 

one time i remember...the dudes pops asked him to roll up a sleeping bag...my boy wasnt having it..shit went down..crying..punching screaming..just one big ass fit..and the dad sitting there asking "WHY are you doing this?? its just a fucking sleeping bag!"

 

his mom made me some hot coco and we watched and laughed till he poped the F bomb and i had to leave.

 

good times

Quoted post

sounds like my house!

:shook: :shook: :shook:

I fucking hated that shit. My mom was always the 'cool mom' so when I would goto other houses I felt all weird because of all the gay ass rules.

The only cool experience was when my friends drunk ass sister who was 4 or 5 years older than me came home and blew my dick while my friend was taking a shower in like 5th grade. I don't think I even nutted.

my freinds dad asked me if wrote a few weeks ago completely out of the blue while eating dinner. shit was awkward.

Uhhh I think I was the one out of my friends with the weird family. That bothers me.... I cant thnk of anything my friends did.

However, my brother had a friend who was nuts growing up. Still is nuts, i see him all cracked out walking around my old neighborhood. Anyway, he lived with his grandma. My brother was drinking milk at their place once and she screamed at the kid "I TOLD YOU NOT TO GIVE YOUR FRiENDS OUR MILK!" and they also fed butter sticks to do the dog. Thats about the extent of that.

I think my house was the hell house, always screaming and fighting, my moms always in the kitchen watching gameshows and chain smoking and my dad fiddling around in the basement for hours with electronics.

all of my friends and all of our parents are like one big ass family

I dunno, as long as i can remember, i never had any friends with wierd familys, but i do remeber that all of my friends had familys that couldent cook to save thier lives, i remeber i was eating at a friends house and they were having tacos for dinner, so i figured hey i like tacos, thats when i found out not all tacos taste the same and not all tacos taste like tacos. :yuck:

i think the akward shit i hated dealing with was when id be chillin at a certain friends house,

and it becomes dinner time,..

so either you have to leave, or stay in another room.

they never fuckin asked me if i wanted to join them.

fuck that kid.

^^^I know how that goes too.

friend:"my mom says its time to eat, she says after dinner you can come back"

me:"man, i cant stay? it only takes a few minuets to eat right?

friend:"my mom says no, you can come back later"

me(yelling):"Fuck yall pussy eating peckerwoods!"

then, as i make my way to the door, his whole family is staring at me,

thats the last time i went to that house. everytime i think about it i laugh. goodtimesgoodtimes.

I can totally relate to the cooking deal, maybe it's because I'm spoiled since my parents are both chef's, but not one of my friend's parents could cook to save their lives. Actually no, there was this one kid Eric, his dad was a chef too so he always had bomb food at his house. But other than that it was like going from grade-A sirloin to Hamburger Helper...

My girlfriend's family have a dinner time ritual where they all go around the table and ask how each other's day was. Now maybe it's because my family have never really been big on communication, but I can't think of a more uncomfortable situation to be placed in. They all go on 10 minute rants about their days, then it gets to me and I stare at the floor and say "uh, yeah, um, I got out of bed and then I like, came over here....". They also say grace, which has always been super-awkward for me considering I've never been in a church my entire life....

my family is square as fuck. and they wonder why i never brought people over.

...one thing i can remember is eating at people's houses that hold hands and pray about how how thankful they are that they have a meal...i could understand if you're poor and you're not sure when you're going to eat again, but these fuckers had a pantry that was hella full...and holding peoples hands right before i eat just doesn't sit right...and i'm not a big fan of god either...

MY FRIEND USED TO SMOKE METH WITH HIS DAD WHEN HE WAS LIKE 16.

"TURN TURN DON'T LET IT BURN, SON."

THATS WHAT HE SAID.

Originally posted by Dr. Dazzle@May 14 2005, 01:43 PM

I can totally relate to the cooking deal, maybe it's because I'm spoiled since my parents are both chef's, but not one of my friend's parents could cook to save their lives.

Quoted post

Same thing here. Sucks going from great food to horrible food and not having the heart to tell their parents or your friend it sucks. I remember my friend used to hype his mom's cooking, I'd take his word for it, and it'd suck.

most of my friend's parents smoke a lot of pot, so rules and regulations never really were an issue.

my mom has got japanese food on lock, so i love eating at home when im around the way.

my dad is pretty boring, unless he's drunk or he's pissed off about something. then he just gets kinda crazy and weird.