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Ways Not to Die

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by cracked ass, Jun 3, 2001.

  1. cracked ass

    cracked ass Guest

    Ways Not to Die

    Discussion started by cracked ass - Jun 3, 2001

    Over dinner with a few heads recently the topic of how you do NOT want to die came up. One person answered, then I jumped in with such relish that everyone changed their mind and didn't want to hear my input. I was like "This is one of those diabolical Chinese things" and suddenly they were all saying "I don't want to hear it."
    Anyway, they take you to this river right near the ocean, which rises and falls with the tides. They tie you to poles in the river so that you're maybe up to your waist at high tide. They cut a small slit in your belly, fish out a loop of intestine, and staple it to a large cork. As the tide goes out, the cork drifts out to sea, slowly unpacking your intestines. If you're lucky (and you're obviously not at this point) something large and carnivorous will be attracted to the smell of blood and feces.

    Anyway, that's not how I want to go.
     
  2. imported_SecretAgentX9 - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    damn cracked! that's pretty ill. death is a wierd thing for me to discuss, but i think an airplane is somehow gonna kill me one day.
     
  3. hipnos

    hipnos Guest

    hipnos - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    i don't think i'd like to slide naked, on my ass, down a huge razorblade.
     
  4. fr8lover

    fr8lover Guest

    fr8lover - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    thats fucking horrible.
     
  5. tow up from tha flow up !

    tow up from tha flow up ! 12oz Member

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    tow up from tha flow up ! - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    Another form of Chinese torture.. They would tie you down to the ground really tight and plant bamboo shoots underneith you, bamboo grows pointy, and can grow through almost anything (including human flesh) so they would make you eat and drink and keep you alive and healthy and the bamboo would eventually just grow right through you and puncture your insides until you bled to death or your liver leaked poisen through your body. I wouldn't like to die like that.

    ------------------
    PRUDE - If I had nuts, you'd be on 'em.
     
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  6. Jesus of Nazareth

    Jesus of Nazareth 12oz Senior Member

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    Jesus of Nazareth - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    Thsi is actually something I think about a lot....I have many, many more ways not to die, but I don't have the patience to record them for you guys.


    When I was younger (this probably led to my being the way I am) I went to this medival festival, and they had a "House of Torture". In this place they had dozens of Dark Age torture devices....one of them wass called something to the effect of "riding the bull"...it was a seat that had foot rests (which held your legs apart) sitiing on top of a steeply sloped set of rails. At the bottom of the little "hill", there was a very large, rather dull blade. So, when you slid down, it would split you from your groin all the way up to your xiphoid (the bottom point of your ribcage)...That is definitely not a way I'd like to go out.....

    There was another that involved your being placed in a large steel coffin. The lid weighed over a ton, and was held over you by a large vice. The weight of the lid would SLOWLY pull it farther and farther down on you, until you have been crushed to death. The process took around three days.

    In yet another display, the unfortunate individual is tied down to a table, and a open-bottomed cage full of rats is placed on his/her bare belly. Hot coals are then placed on top of the cage, from which the rats seek shelter by burrowing into the stomach of the captive.
     
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  7. Lush

    Lush 12oz Member

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    Lush - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    I was just about to come in with a rat one but Jesus there just beat me to it. One I was always rather freaked about was the one in nineteen eighty-four, when O'brien put that steel cage on Winston's face with the rats in it . eugh! it gave me shivers for days. But I must say Cracked, that's some incredibly sick shit. Where the hell did you ever hear about something like that? Damn!
     
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  8. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    WebsterUno - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    Cracked, youre one sick puppy. This topic reminds me of the Gravediggaz cut "SUICIDE". Cracked, you might like that album. Heres a sample:
    Six fucking devils stepped up playing brave God
    Had the fucking nerve to try and enta my grave yard
    I'm the Ryzarector, be my sacrafice
    Commit suicide and I'll bring you back to life
    The first was convinced
    Stuck a water hose in his mouth at full blast so his head can explode
    Second said hmmmm that's good but I can top it
    Put an ax up to his head and then he chopped it
    Blood shot out in every direction
    The rest didn't know what to do, I made suggestions
    Put a slug in your mug, overdose on a drug
    Wet your hair stick a knife in the plug
    Or be like Richard Pryor set your balls on fire
    Better yet go hang yourself with a barbed wire
    Three and Four fell deep into spell and
    Ran to the zoo, locked themselves in a lion's den
    Number Five said it ain't worth being alive
    Smoked a dust joint, mixed it with cynaide
    The only one to escape was number Six
    He went home
    Sat in the tub and slit his wrists
    Yeah, more graves to dig. Goodbye
    There's no need to cry...
    ... cause we all die


    …and I thought drowning was the worst way to die. sheesh. Anyone know any other good ones.
     
  9. ViOLaTeR

    ViOLaTeR 12oz Junior Member

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    ViOLaTeR - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    i hate the thought of being buried alive just me i guess
     
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  10. mr.e

    mr.e 12oz Senior Member

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    mr.e - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    drowning....man i just couldnt handle that...

    weird childhood experience with water i guess.
     
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  11. I_Lock_Kids_In_My_SELER - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    I do not want to die in a car crash. I don't want to drown or have a heart attack (or if I do die of a heart attack, I want to go out the way Big Pun did - die of a heart attack while recieving head.0
     
  12. platapie

    platapie Guest

    platapie - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    im thinking maybe falling in to a deep fryer would be pretty fucked.
     
  13. raildeviant

    raildeviant 12oz Member

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    raildeviant - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    burning alive in a twisted car wreck...i've seen it and it looked horrible....
    drowning as well....or any death that takes longer than a second....
     
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  14. ohnoone

    ohnoone 12oz Elite Member

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    ohnoone - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    i saw this thing in a torture museum once where they put you, more like cram you in the barrel with spikes sticking inside it, seal it up and roll you down a steep rocky incline, if the spikes dont kill you the fall will. so yea, none of that.
     
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  15. i eat poo

    i eat poo New Jack

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    i eat poo - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    Any slow death would suck.

    Theres a Chinese tourture method where they jam a hollow glass tube into your dickhole and leave you with this naked chick and when you get a boner your urethra tightens and breaks the glass tube.That would suck.
     
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