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WHY IS JADAKISS AS HARD AS IT GETS?

 

NAH BUT SERIOUSLY...

 

WHY WONT YOU DRIVE ME TO VA?

WHY CANT I GET A JOB DOING NOTHING?

WHY AM I NOT AS SATISFIED AS I THOUGHT I WOULD BE AT FINALLY FINDING OUT WHO THIS JACK MCTOY FAG IS? (BECAUSE HE'S A TOY! THATS WHY! HAHA!)

WHY CANT I JUST PUNCH NIGGAS WITHOUT CATCHING A CASE?

WHYYYYYYY

 

 

MERO

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poopman, this is your job

 

hahahahaaaaaa...

 

why does my job pay so little when what i do is so 'important' ?

 

why do my parents keep buggin me to have a kid?

 

why am i still at work?

 

later beyotches. :kissa:

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Originally posted by eights@May 10 2005, 04:56 PM

no matter how many times I wipe my arse, if I scratch it - why is there still poop on my finger?

 

The Endorsement: Tucks wipes



By Barry Sonnenfeld

 

"Five years ago, Sweetie (the wife) introduced me to Tucks hemorrhoid pads. She changed my life. Growing up, I watched the unfortunate commercial: a close-up of a flaming match being put out by a Tucks medicated pad, whatever that was. It made me sad. It made me feel unclean. And you know what? I was.

 

"You know how when you're done with a plate of ribs or a fine three-pound lobster, you're desperately looking forward to wiping your hands with a moist towelette? Well, Tucks are moist towelettes for your ass. Take an entire roll of toilet paper. Keep wiping until the paper is as clean as when it came off the roll. Not a speck of fecal matter? Okay. Now take a single Tucks, place it across your three middle fingers, and wipe. The amount of sadness on the pad will make you faint.

 

"The marketing problem for Tucks all these years is that they're sold as a hemorrhoidal aid instead of a profound mood enhancer. Tucks are like a romp through a field of daisies for your butt. Every year, I give Will Smith a case of Tucks for his birthday, since he's uncomfortable going down to his local Costco and picking up a pallet of them. Tucks changed Will Smith's life.

 

"Tucks not only come in containers of 100 pads, which I keep in every bathroom in my house, they also come individually wrapped as "Tucks Take Alongs," which I carry in my wallet. They are like an instant portable bidet.

 

"And they can be used as a bribe. Although I was originally invited to the annual Vanity Fair Oscar party because of my fine work as a director, what gets me invited back is that I never fail to find editor Graydon Carter and discreetly place a Tucks in his hand. Tucks changed my life. Maybe they changed his life. They can change your life, too."

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