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Vice Magazine - Talk Soup

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by --zeSto--, Sep 10, 2002.

  1. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    oh boy....

    Quicktime clip from Talk Soup.

    Watched the clip? Saw the girl?
    well she's the same girl from myChinese Takeout thread.

    so anyone read the new issue?
    I'm going to get the shoes on the inside back cover.
  2. R123N

    R123N New Jack

    Joined: Mar 25, 2001 Messages: 16 Likes Received: 0
    pesimistic peapod

    thats a good magazine its not easy to come by one of those for me......
    ...bored0m.... maybe i wouldnt be so board if i got one.......
  3. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

  4. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2002 Messages: 2,901 Likes Received: 1
    my friend zach let me borrow some of his Vice magazines and they're seriously some of the funniest, best written magazines i have ever seen. good times.
  5. sneak

    sneak Guest

    i have a horrible feeling that i cant get that mag over here, id like to tho...
  6. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    stolen... but great !

    Death top the Nerds

    GoddamMit, nerds. What have you done? You’ve ruined everything. We tried to give you a hand. We reached out into the creek that runs through the high school and we pulled your drenched pants out of the water. We picked your glasses out of the garbage and handed them back to you. We even listened to your bullshit about outer space, and what do you fucking do? You fucking nerds. You shit on us.

    From controlling the economy with Bill Gates to controlling our entertainment with Lara Croft, we gave you the world and you fucking rubbed it between your never-been-wedgied asscheeks and threw it right back in our face.

    I guess we thought it was subversive. We liked the idea of pissing off the jocks by inviting you to parties, but we should have known it wouldn’t work (P.S. when you drank too much and yelled “I love Liz!” and ran out and then came back three hours later all covered in puke we were like, “What would he do if he ever fucking got Liz, anyway? Lay on her and cry?”).

    Back in the good old days, when making your lives hell was an art form, our forefathers carefully lifted your underwear out of the back of your pants and tried to get the waistband over your head without ripping anything. Back then you knew your place. That generation of nerds grew up to build the XM-1 tank — the most invincible tank on earth — and they were happy with that.

    We decided to be nicer and gave you kudos with things like Square Pegs, then Revenge of the Nerds, then Weird Science, then Sixteen Candles, then Freaks and Geeks, and we got you into Hollywood and you fucking make movies about video games with huge-breasted übervixens?

    And how’s this for a true fact?

    A. Nerds (Craig McCracken et all) made The Powerpuff Girls movie.

    B. Nerds are so intimidated by girls (even baby girls) that they thought it would make perfect sense to have the heroines destroy cities and rip the bleeding heads off of monsters the whole time.

    C. The result? A whole theater of five-year-old girls bawling their eyes out in fear.

    Well guess what, nerds? Fuck you. Fuck fucking you. We are going to tape your buns together so tight that we’ll get muscles doing it. We are going to rip your underwear off so hard … we’re going to rip it right off and whip it down the street. And your glasses. They’re going to basically become powder. We are going to pop all your zits and eat the pus. You thought the ’50s were bad? This is going to be some psycho shit. You just try to come to school with shotguns. We’ll be hiding on the ceilings all commando-style and then PAM! just come down on you and … fucking ... eat your face right off. You’re going to be watching us eat it with your bugged-out skeleton eyeballs and your exposed teeth and you’re going to be all, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!”

    You are so dead.


    Nerds (above) by Spencer Sweeney courtesy of Gavin Brown.
  7. deterrent

    deterrent Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 20, 2004 Messages: 5,181 Likes Received: 43
    wholy fuck niggers this new issue is a lot nice:

    Johnny Cash's knife
    Drawing of 50 cent deemed racist
    Bouncing Souls new album review
    Stories of accedents!!!
    Cover: Dog made of flowers!!!!!

    Heck nawh, ef da flippin es yeaaaha.
  8. Sparoism

    Sparoism Guest

    They're still around? (God, it's nice to NOT be in the know. You move out of the Mission and then BAM! instant has been/never was status. I was voted out because I could not affect the "Romulan Haircut"...I'm sure the hipsters sleep easier at night in my absence, provided they aren't loaded to the gills on cheap blow.)

    Is it still free? Is Jim Goad still the occasional guest columnist?

    Does anyone besides me not care about Vice? Jim Goad was the only writer I'd read, then it went straight into the recycling bin, unless someone snagged it first.

    Here...if you are not easily offended (shit...you're on 12 oz. Strike that last remark.) and have a sense of humor (the previously struck remark applies conditionally to certain individuals), then you need to go here. Now. Stop reading this, and just point...your...browser....HERE.

    You're welcome.

    PHILLY IS WILD Junior Member

    Joined: May 8, 2005 Messages: 147 Likes Received: 0

    ok nigga we get it, your good with similies, damn, reading this dude is like listening to lloyd banks.
  10. dumy

    dumy Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 5,056 Likes Received: 0
    haha..that was funny..

  11. Sparoism

    Sparoism Guest

    Who's Lloyd Banks? I'll assume he's rich and handsome and that was meant to be a compliment.

    Thank you.

    PHILLY IS WILD Junior Member

    Joined: May 8, 2005 Messages: 147 Likes Received: 0
    nah actually he is a corny rapper that uses punchlines every other line...but its all good, i just find these editorials bitching about some dumbshit that doesnt really matter more annoying than funny, but to each his own
  13. Sparoism

    Sparoism Guest

    Vice had its moment in the sun, but when they turned into a "lifestyle" magazine for hipsters, they lost me.

    Too bad, some of the writing (David Cross, Sarah Silverman) is really good. I'm sure a lot of is simply scanned for ironic content by its target audience, who then go on to pay $500 for a pair of worn out jeans without absorbing the message behind the irony.

    But, you're right...to each their own.

    (I am actually a HORRIBLE rapper, and I can't dance. I can DJ, though, so maybe I'm not hopelessly caucasian.)
  14. dumy

    dumy Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 5,056 Likes Received: 0
    yeah, its not as bad if you take all the printed material as sarcastic..then it's actually funny..BUT ONLY IF YOU DO THAT..
  15. sarahyoulose

    sarahyoulose Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 30, 2003 Messages: 1,043 Likes Received: 3
    I love vice
    sometimes they produce mediocre issues, but some of them are just GOLDEN

    i think i laugh out loud every time i read that magazine in a public place