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Vagina Saliva Oner: my friend.


Poop Man Bob

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So this is the beginning of a potentially multi-threaded introduction to my friends. This is Vagina Saliva Oner. I've been good friends with him for over 12 years now. I have a ton of great stories about him, but I wanted to share a particular one which came to mind this evening:

  • A little over a year ago, Vag Sal and my woman's roommate were interested in one another. She's a cute and cool girl, so I said he should go for it. They pursue one another a bit and are mutually interested, which we think is cool. We all decide to go out one night to see if things might heat up at all (
this night actually). VSO gets realllllly drunk, then high, then drunk, then high again. So he's fucked up.
 
We four (my woman, her roommate, VSO, and I) head back to his house, where we sit around for a bit playing Excitebike and Super Dodgeball. VSO and roomie go upstairs; my woman goes into their dirty ass bathroom because she's feeling sick. This bathroom (pictured here) is fucking filthy: toilet's been cleaned maybe once, tub's the same, bathroom's covered in 3 dudes' pubes. My woman proceeds to lay on the floor and attempts to puke in the toilet .. and when she realizes just how dirty the it, she pukes in the sink. It's complete with chunks that refuse to go down the drain, so I'm forced to stuff them down. Mm.
 
I go to the bottom of the stairs and holler to tell them I'm taking my woman home. They come to the top of the stairs, so I ask the roomie whether I'd like to take her home .. or if she'd like to stay. She says that she'll wait until VSO sobers up, then she'll have him drive her home ... which means she'll be spending the night, as VSO probably couldn't drive for 18 hours. I say cool and leave.
 
The next morning the woman and I get woken up by a call from the roomie. Turns out she didn't end up spending the night. Turns out she walked home at 3 am. Turns out: VSO and roomie were making out, and roomie had a short skirt on which VSO kept attempting to get into/off. He made his way back up the skirt a few times and was denied entry repeadtedly. She said :"VSO, we're not having sex." VSO said: "It's cool .. it's cool."
 
As he says this he takes off his shirt, claiming it's hot. More making out. Then he takes off his pants. She remind him they're not having sex. He tells her "it's cool" once again. He then takes off his underwear. She says nothing, considering she's still completely clothed. He then grabs a condom, and, despite her reminding him that he's not getting any, he puts it on. He then proceeds to pass out. So, he's passed out, naked, with a condom on, with a girl sitting next to him fully clothed. She gets up and walks home.
 
About an hour later, we get a call from him, wondering what the fuck happened. He said he woke up with an unused condom on, and was slightly confused.
 
 
I related this story to a mutual friend tonight, who told me that the same thing happened to one of her friends and VSO, only he didn't get naked. But he did keep reaching for a condom despite her refusal of vagina. You can't blame the man for trying, though.

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Originally posted by Poop Man Bob


  •  
    The next morning the woman and I get woken up by a call from the roomie. Turns out she didn't end up spending the night. Turns out she walked home at 3 am. Turns out: VSO and roomie were making out, and roomie had a short skirt on which VSO kept attempting to get into/off. He made his way back up the skirt a few times and was denied entry repeadtedly. She said :"VSO, we're not having sex." VSO said: "It's cool .. it's cool."
     
    As he says this he takes off his shirt, claiming it's hot. More making out. Then he takes off his pants. She remind him they're not having sex. He tells her "it's cool" once again. He then takes off his underwear. She says nothing, considering she's still completely clothed. He then grabs a condom, and, despite her reminding him that he's not getting any, he puts it on. He then proceeds to pass out. So, he's passed out, naked, with a condom on, with a girl sitting next to him fully clothed. She gets up and walks home.
     

 

I've been that guy. Hell, I am that guy.

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Originally posted by Poop Man Bob

As he says this he takes off his shirt, claiming it's hot. More making out. Then he takes off his pants. She remind him they're not having sex. He tells her "it's cool" once again. He then takes off his underwear. She says nothing, considering she's still completely clothed. He then grabs a condom, and, despite her reminding him that he's not getting any, he puts it on. He then proceeds to pass out. So, he's passed out, naked, with a condom on, with a girl sitting next to him fully clothed. She gets up and walks home.

 

Fratriffic. :rolleyes:

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let me just say.....

 

PoopManBoobs is always uping the quality.

I know that's easy to say, and hard to live up to,

so I'll just say instead....

 

PMB-4-PREZ

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