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Vagina Saliva Oner: my friend.

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Poop Man Bob, Apr 23, 2004.

  1. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    [​IMG]

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    So this is the beginning of a potentially multi-threaded introduction to my friends. This is Vagina Saliva Oner. I've been good friends with him for over 12 years now. I have a ton of great stories about him, but I wanted to share a particular one which came to mind this evening:
    • A little over a year ago, Vag Sal and my woman's roommate were interested in one another. She's a cute and cool girl, so I said he should go for it. They pursue one another a bit and are mutually interested, which we think is cool. We all decide to go out one night to see if things might heat up at all (this night actually). VSO gets realllllly drunk, then high, then drunk, then high again. So he's fucked up.

      We four (my woman, her roommate, VSO, and I) head back to his house, where we sit around for a bit playing Excitebike and Super Dodgeball. VSO and roomie go upstairs; my woman goes into their dirty ass bathroom because she's feeling sick. This bathroom (pictured here) is fucking filthy: toilet's been cleaned maybe once, tub's the same, bathroom's covered in 3 dudes' pubes. My woman proceeds to lay on the floor and attempts to puke in the toilet .. and when she realizes just how dirty the it, she pukes in the sink. It's complete with chunks that refuse to go down the drain, so I'm forced to stuff them down. Mm.

      I go to the bottom of the stairs and holler to tell them I'm taking my woman home. They come to the top of the stairs, so I ask the roomie whether I'd like to take her home .. or if she'd like to stay. She says that she'll wait until VSO sobers up, then she'll have him drive her home ... which means she'll be spending the night, as VSO probably couldn't drive for 18 hours. I say cool and leave.

      The next morning the woman and I get woken up by a call from the roomie. Turns out she didn't end up spending the night. Turns out she walked home at 3 am. Turns out: VSO and roomie were making out, and roomie had a short skirt on which VSO kept attempting to get into/off. He made his way back up the skirt a few times and was denied entry repeadtedly. She said :"VSO, we're not having sex." VSO said: "It's cool .. it's cool."

      As he says this he takes off his shirt, claiming it's hot. More making out. Then he takes off his pants. She remind him they're not having sex. He tells her "it's cool" once again. He then takes off his underwear. She says nothing, considering she's still completely clothed. He then grabs a condom, and, despite her reminding him that he's not getting any, he puts it on. He then proceeds to pass out. So, he's passed out, naked, with a condom on, with a girl sitting next to him fully clothed. She gets up and walks home.

      About an hour later, we get a call from him, wondering what the fuck happened. He said he woke up with an unused condom on, and was slightly confused.


      I related this story to a mutual friend tonight, who told me that the same thing happened to one of her friends and VSO, only he didn't get naked. But he did keep reaching for a condom despite her refusal of vagina. You can't blame the man for trying, though.
     
  2. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    VIDEO - VSO breakdancing at a Halloween party.


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    http://fattydave.homestead.com/files/DaveDannyTims.jpg'>

    [img]http://fattydave.homestead.com/files/ExciteBike.jpg'>

    [img]http://fattydave.homestead.com/files/MeowKitty.jpg'>

    [img]http://fattydave.homestead.com/files/DannyStrongestManAlive.jpg'>

    [img]http://fattydave.homestead.com/files/Graveyard4Danny.jpg'>

    [img]http://fattydave.homestead.com/files/20031101_025.jpg'>

    [img]http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/1003/fatdave/Picture_034.jpg'>

    [img]http://fattydave.homestead.com/files/3Homies.JPG'>

    [img]http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/1003/fatdave/Picture_027.jpg'>

    [img]http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/1003/fatdave/Picture_015.jpg'>

    [img]http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/1003/fatdave/Picture_006.jpg'>

    [img]http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/1003/fatdave/Picture_005.jpg'>

    [img]http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/1003/fatdave/01-19-04_043.jpg'>
    [/center]​
     
  3. duh-rye-won

    duh-rye-won Member

    Joined: Aug 8, 2001 Messages: 580 Likes Received: 2
    VSOhh shit!

    excitebike was totally sweet.
     
  4. Mr.

    Mr. New Jack

    Joined: Aug 16, 2003 Messages: 76 Likes Received: 0
    hanging out with males isn't as cool.
     
  5. Pfffffffffft

    Pfffffffffft Moderator Crew

    Joined: Feb 16, 2004 Messages: 15,344 Likes Received: 671
    poop man bob and vagina saliva oner

    hell yeah....
    quality knee slappin shit right here!!

    hopefully there will be a pt.2:lol:
     
  6. krie

    krie Guest

    I love how your friend taped two beers to his hands so he wont drop them :lol:
     
  7. duh-rye-won

    duh-rye-won Member

    Joined: Aug 8, 2001 Messages: 580 Likes Received: 2
    i believe it's known as "Edward 40 Hands".
     
  8. 26SidedCube

    26SidedCube Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 18, 2003 Messages: 6,590 Likes Received: 9
    I've been that guy. Hell, I am that guy.
     
  9. http://www.newcamp.net/hector/images/12oz/thumb.gif'> [/center]


    I'm fucking dying of laughter here... awesome story. That dude looks out of control hilarious, if we ever get to hang out again in your area, it is imperative that he be present.

    Oh, and sick thread idea!​
     
  10. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2002 Messages: 7,042 Likes Received: 2
    ha-ha....fucking awesome.

    "it's cool...it's cool"...

    reminds me of...oh nevermind...
     
  11. ubejinxed

    ubejinxed Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 7,543 Likes Received: 3
    this is really funny, i wish i had some fun friends to relate stories of.... but alas i only know a group of sticks in the mud
     
  12. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    next: The Fat Guy, who appears in many of your pictures
     
  13. Pinup

    Pinup Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 13, 2003 Messages: 2,208 Likes Received: 0
    haha, i too have noticed him.

    PMB, consider this a double request for Chubby Bike Kid Oner.;)
     
  14. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    Bump for the video I added to the beginning of the second post.
     
  15. yoink

    yoink Elite Member

    Joined: May 27, 2002 Messages: 3,428 Likes Received: 0
    haha I remember that from a while ago!

    *I love the end when he moonwalks/robots out of there!
     
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