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Turbulence


WhiteOx

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Ive caught countless flights but lately ive been getting increasingly anxious on planes. About a week ago i had one of those really wierd, unusual dreams that seem otherworldly. In the dream I was looking out of a plane window during landing and the plane skidded on the runway and the wingtip hit some shit. in the same moment time slowed down and the plane exploded. for the rest of the dream i existed in a life after death state. It was fucking weird and i thought it was pretty cool the next day.

On Saturday night i flew back to Sydney from melbourne and from the begginning of the descent, for about 20 minutes, basically untill the moment the wheels touched the ground, the plane was shaking like a motherfucker. There was a combination of nervous/hysterical laughter and shrieking throughout the cabin. Even the flight attentdents were nervous. (i was sitting next to an off-duty one in literally the worse seat in the plane - the last row in the direct centre - so i could hear the others squealing behind me). i noted the exits were next to me so in the event of a crash in which, by some freak occurence, not everyone onboard was killed, i would (hopefully) be among the first out. also i was in melbourne because of a death and i reasoned it would be too cruel a joke to die coming back from a funeral

 

after we landed i heard the attendants agree it was the aproach turbulence they'd ever got. anyway, i never really thought i was going to die but it was pretty fucked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

anyway I then went to a small party (where this was) and got my drink on

ominouspyramid7xy.jpg

It Was a country and western party

 

girlies

asians.jpg

 

the gay sherrif and his studly deputies

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(i dont know why he wore that)

 

This gay decided the ignore the criteria. But he made the costume himself.

duffman.jpg

 

cheers!

cimg00483so.jpg

 

 

Some fools tried to crash the party and we smashed them, country style. but there are no photos of us enforcing the law, so that's it.

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Originally posted by WhiteOx@Sep 18 2005, 07:23 AM

girlies

asians.jpg

 

 

I see 4000 clones of these two nondescript asian girls every single day on campus, I swear.

 

 

 

 

 

Edit: Actually I lied, the ones here don't know English at all because they cheated on the TOEFL and wouldn't be caught dead talking or interacting with white people.

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^i also got to see the dudes missus get a good kicking from the bouncers, along with her pussy boyfriend (she decided to get in on the act too and chuck one at my housemate / fellow worker).

 

it took 3 bouncers and a copper to get cuffs on her and they both got charged with inciting a riot. and are now banned from ALL pubs, clubs, anywhere selling alcohol down where i am. all cos they wanted a drink, and wouldnt wait their turn..

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Originally posted by MrJackDaniels@Sep 18 2005, 09:32 AM

^i also got to see the dudes missus get a good kicking from the bouncers, along with her pussy boyfriend (she decided to get in on the act too and chuck one at my housemate / fellow worker).

 

it took 3 bouncers and a copper to get cuffs on her and they both got charged with inciting a riot. and are now banned from ALL pubs, clubs, anywhere selling alcohol down where i am. all cos they wanted a drink, and wouldnt wait their turn..

Serves 'em right. We get those here, too...they come into my old part of town, driving $80k cars, and think their platinum card is some kind of license to talk shit...

 

One time, I was walking with my ex-girlfriend, drunk as fuck per usual on a Friday night. Some bimbo with blond streaks in her hair and a Coach bag tried to shoulder past us while talking on her cell...I grabbed the cell from her, said, "Are you gonna apologize for being rude?" She started trying to flash on us, so I threw the cell across the street, and some locals in front of the bar started cheering. "Go get them to help you call the cops," I said. I am the Yuppie Conqueror.

 

san.francisco.lofts.jpg

 

This is what they are doing to the neighborhood.

 

[attachmentid=21607]

 

And this is how the neighborhood responded.

myep.jpg.1c1496fb670cfdb6105ec19390e22b24.jpg

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Originally posted by FRESH_FRANK+Sep 18 2005, 04:26 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (FRESH_FRANK - Sep 18 2005, 04:26 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-MrJackDaniels@Sep 18 2005, 01:44 PM

my saturday night sucked, i got glasses thrown at me at work by dickhead pissheads.

at least someone had fun...

 

I SAW SOME PRICK THROW A GLASS AT THE BAR STAFF LAST NIGHT TOO.

[/b]

 

so ? He probably got put off tap

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Hey, ive gone on loads of flights, and I too am getting increasingly nervous. Normally i just sleep though the whole thing, but it seems like in the news there's a plane crash every week. And for stupid shit, like theyll say they need help, or an emergency runway, and then just crash. That one in Canada, that landed too far into the runway, fuked up. Also, wernt a couple of pilots arrested a few weeks ago for being drunk? I need to get my own pilots license so if I crash i can just blame myself.

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i've had some crazy flight incidents.

sitting on a runway waiting for a plane to be repaired, for 3 hours

then being told no, we'd have to come back the next day

got a free hotel room out of it

but then had to reboard the same fucking plane and fly it across an ocean..

 

one time landing after a trans-atlantic

we hit the runway so hard there was avery very loud boom

and of course everyone felt it

the whole goddamn plane shuddered

ladies were shrieking and crying and shit

we hit the turn at the end of the runway and it felt like we went up on two wheels as we rounded the bend

we were still going so fast i could hear the tires squeeling on the landing gear

 

 

another trans atlantic i had the worst turbelence i'd ever experienced throughout the whole effing flight.

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ahhhh fucking yuppie mother fuckers.

 

One of thsoe assholes came to my work a few weeks ago in his mercedes and of course he was plastered as hell and decided that since he had more money than us working in the service industry he could just be a dickhead to us...didn't work out too well for him.

 

We have this thing that we can not allow alcohol containers to go outside. Said dickhead tries to take his beer outside with him and we try to be nice and tell him that he has to leave it in the store, if he is going out for a smoke we will keep it behind the counter for him. Of course he throws a HUGE fit because he can not take his beer outside with him threatening to have us shut down because is the chairman of blah blah blah neighborhood organization...yadda yadda yadda...So he tries to go outside while talking shit to one of my managers and of course my manager goes outside too and most of us fallow to see the fun that will ensue. (keep in mind we are allowed to fight customers as long as its not inside the store...what a great job) So guy is outside talking shit blah blah blah and we all join in on just making fun of his ass to the point where he slams his beer down on the ground, gets in his 350 SLK and speeds off. The whole time he is outside causing a scene one of the local cops that we give free food to so they look the other way when we "bend" the rules is watching this from his car down the block. He proceeds to go after the guy, pulls him over and takes his yuppie ass to jail for DUI.....fucker.

 

 

I have more stories of yuppies in my work getting served that I might share later.

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first time i was ever on a plane, some old man had a heart attack or some kind of medical emergency, for some reason this caused the captain to press the button that alerts the plane that the cabin has depressurised(sp?) and the oxygen masks will drop down. of course they didnt and i was left thinking there was no air left in the plane, so i did what i thought best and tried to rip the panel off the ceiling that contains the masks, almost getting me in a fist fight with an attendant. some germans sitting next to me went crazy and started screaming at me in german i assume to tell them what was going on, when the captain comes on the loudspeaker and apologises for that minor mishap and he didnt actually mean to tell the whole plane there was no air left.

in any case i dont really like flying any more.

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My saturday was spent in good company, although on sunday i experienced quite a bit of turbulence myself. I'm usually very relax when i fly, but the flight back home was on an express plane. That shit had me nervous, i've never been on a plane so narrow and small. I too was thrilled i was sitting next to an exit.

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