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Top Ten People America Wants To Kick In the Balls

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Poop Man Bob, Oct 27, 2002.

  1. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18

    10. Fred Durst [​IMG]

    The man is currently the lead singer of the overwhelmingly popular hip-hop/rock group Limp Bizkit. His in your face wigger lyrics and attitude started a movement that is bringing true rock to its knees. Having a hardcore mismatched fan base from Gangster rap lovin' snoochies to suburban-Mtv-teenybopper-ghetto-superstars will ensure this asshole and his band longevity and profit.

    9. David Arquette [​IMG]

    The splendidly talented Rosanna Arquette would be spinning in her grave if she weren't still alive at seeing the bastardized roles her brother plays time and again. A disgrace to the Arquette name, the one redeeming feature of this loathsome leviathan is he managed to bag Courtney Cox. Unfortunately that makes America bitter and jealous propelling hatred for Davey to a far greater plane then could have been achieved by simply paying 8 bucks to see Ready to Rumble.

    8. George W. Bush [​IMG]

    He's daddies little boy, a presidential puppet of big business and the conservative right wing sector. The man with a silver spoon in his mouth bigger then the state he failed to govern properly. Less then stellar marks in school combined with failed business dealings and Dubya's liberal use of alcohol and cocaine are all overlooked because he's oh so sorry and so damned charismatic. Groomed from birth to give the wealthiest 1% of the tax bracket half the expected surplus, this rich failure of a man is long overdue for a kick to the scrotum. Many ballots to boot Bush in the balls came from the African American community of Dade and Broward counties with the usual addition "at least this vote will count."

    7. Jaleel White [​IMG]

    Since 1989, Jaleel played the nerd you loved to hate, Steve Urkel on the syndicated television series Family Matters. While many survey participants simply stated they hate Urkel, the Murderize.com staff decided Jaleel White would need to take the blame for his character. With tremendously irritating catch phrases including but not limited too, "Did I do that?" and "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Jaleel carved himself an annoying niche that would last 9 seasons and haunt him for the rest of his life.

    6. Hilary Clinton [​IMG]

    When Murderize.com conducted this poll, we assumed that only males would be nominated. After all it is "Who would you like to kick in the balls" is it not? But a lofty number of readers selected Hilary Clinton and who are we to argue with the teeming masses? Everything about this woman from her 1st Lady proactive women's groups, plastic fucking lifestyle, her pretentious book, It Takes a Village, and now her governance and possible presidential bid in 2004 makes America sick. I am proud that the Murderize.com readers saw past here mere testicular deficiency and elected to kick her smack in the nuts.

    5. Vince McMahon [​IMG]

    With the fledgling XFL and wildly successful WWF, McMahon has built a billion dollar empire with shrewd business tactics and cunning. This businessman is like any other except for his eccentric appearances on his own platforms. Zealous wrestling fans responded in droves to this poll asserting the true McMahon is a pompous dickweed, claiming he cost The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin the WWF title. Most polled just scrawled on a piece of paper Rock rules and Austin 3:16. So we took that as a vote for McMahon.

    4. O.J. Simpson [​IMG]

    He killed his wife. He killed a witness. He fled the scene. O.J.'s trial has shown that mounting conventional and DNA evidence doesn't matter if you have millions to spend on manipulative lawyers. Claiming racial prejudice and police conspiracy which places doubt in the confounded juror's minds. The man got away with murder and flaunts it in America's collective face. His radically violent behavior with the recent road rage incident to past indiscretions proves he is mentally unbalanced and cannot control his anger.

    3. Bill Gates [​IMG]

    Every poor/middle class man hates rich people. They live better then us, eat better then us, and pork much hotter women. It's hard for average Joe SweatSock to comprehend that a gangly dweeb is far and away more successful then he is, or will ever be. The reasons for hating the richest man in the world are two fold. First there is the technology aspect such as the Microsoft monopoly, nagging windows glitches, and software dominance. The second reason America essentially hates Bill Gates is because he is a skinny, 4-eyes, billionaire whom they want to beat the shit out of but know they can't.

    2. Hugh Grant [​IMG]

    British star of the stage and screen that plays the same bungling character in every role he has ever done. A hopeless romantic that playfully falters over his words with a whimsical English accent that always stumbles into love. This wretched hack couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag, whatever the fuck that means. Sweet Jesus under no circumstances watch a Hugh Grant movie. Torture thy name is Mickey Blue Eyes… and possibly Notting Hill. On a side note Murderize.com will dispel a popular rumor for Grant's exploits with transsexuals have led to many insinuations of homosexuality, but he is really just English.

    1. Regis Philbin [​IMG]

    From his newly released book, his awful morning show and hit game show "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?" Philbin never ceases to be an incredulous condescending asshole. His book which is entitled, Who Wants To Be Me? has sparked a firestorm of antipathy from the general populous who are finally tired of his egomaniacal conduct.

    Several men just missed the top ten. Notable runners up include musical talent such as Ricky Martin, several members of the Backstreet Boys and N'sync. Comedians such as Carrot Top and Pauly Shore as well as actors Ben Afleck and Charlton Heston topped the list. A few notable women include Joan Rivers and Kathie Lee. John Rocker swept the sports category. Other noteworthy political runner-ups include Al Gore for stretching out the election and Alan Greenspan because apparently some people lost money in the stock market and blame him. The broadcasting genius behind the fox network with such hit shows as Titus, Malcom In the Middle and That 70's Show, Rupert Murdock picked up a heavy load of groin punting tallies as well.
  2. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    This thread just goijdsflkjaeoijt
  3. evilistic

    evilistic Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 22, 2001 Messages: 3,554 Likes Received: 0
    bush.urkel.and gates
  4. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 11,276 Likes Received: 71
    All of the above... and then some.
  5. jah

    jah Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 30, 2001 Messages: 2,705 Likes Received: 2
  6. zen

    zen New Jack

    Joined: Sep 20, 2001 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
    this is true.


    Joined: May 21, 2002 Messages: 834 Likes Received: 0
    + all the above
  8. ~KRYLON2~

    ~KRYLON2~ 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 13, 2001 Messages: 10,475 Likes Received: 203
  9. 8==D~~

    8==D~~ Guest

    you forgot lucy from i love lucy..that lady neeeeeeds to be shot.
  10. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
    Urkel and CLinton are both dope. Dont front.
  11. socrates

    socrates Guest

  12. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

    i'd like to add...



    this bitch

    these two gays

    this ugly muther-fucker


    these mutherfuckers. (LFO)

    ps. dont kick urkel, i'd rather kick screech.
  13. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 11,276 Likes Received: 71
    I hate the following:

    "Yo, I'm a homo-fag"

    "I am so hip becuase I sing about cool people"

    "I think I'm ghetto, but I'm really not."

    "I'm not [i]really[/i] a judge.

    "I can't see shit."
  14. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

  15. sneak

    sneak Guest

    word rage, u beat me to adding p damn-im-a-dick diddy