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tonight provokes insanity

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by fizm, Jun 6, 2002.

  1. fizm

    fizm Member

    Joined: Apr 9, 2002 Messages: 573 Likes Received: 0
    you don't have to read this.

    i have slipped into psychosis again. i'm trying to cut my realizations of self-worthlessness down to less than 100 times per second. tonight was counterproductive in that sense. tonight's epiphanies: the majority of people i can have a true desire to be comfortable with and fond of, maybe even love, are those that have disliked me at some point. bullet in the vein. i am what the power rangers would refer to as a "loner."

    addendum: the beginning of my night is as follows. i go to take care of her smallest worries [because i owe her because i hurt her/because she mimicked a movie whether or not she admits it fully/because there is vast misunderstanding and because she perceives my actions and thoughts with optic reconnaisance. because when she gives a gift of emotion she leaves before i open it.] but i prove myself late, because i'm too early even though i'm late, because she's later than me. and then all six angels and demons in three girls walk through the door of my territory and i find i'm not allowed when i follow post-hesitation. all i wanted to do was find a travelling companion, to play like a song that reminded me of a plan i had to watch one walk along a shore then take the path of my ancestors to procreate with a lighter shade of the dim glow that defines happiness, and a smile. but indoors is the current plan, and it's falling apart like the only ones who would know any better have warned me. and i'm just trying to be nice. and i'm just trying to make up for what i owe. but i'm just trying to be male. and that's not nice no matter how i try to justify it. chances are i'll be inhibited by a temporary maladjustment in the form of powder and pale that only currently is known in third person to me.

    to present and future pretiends: shut the fuck up. i am in desperate need of finding an activity to distract me from my thoughts so i'm not forced to terminate my physical processes. such a cute little nurse that injects a bullet into the cold vein. and we all look away. activity is distraction is avoidance of reality is denial of reality is a lie.

    "you may notice certain things before you die. mail them to me should they cause your algebra to fail. cole and macey lost their eyes on the finer points. roll them up in coffee cake and dine. you're a lie."
  2. ASER1NE

    ASER1NE Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 15, 2001 Messages: 7,578 Likes Received: 3
    okay phew , i was almost gonna read that
  3. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    you sound like I did about a week ago. Things get better after a wlittle while trust me...The Zack knows and if you god bad things to say back I willg et AC Slater to shove you into your locker.
  4. platapie

    platapie Guest

    im going to get drunk tonight.:eek:
  5. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

  6. test pattern

    test pattern Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 21, 2002 Messages: 3,975 Likes Received: 0
    Hey, what is that from?

    It's really cool.
  7. BIG T

    BIG T Member

    Joined: Sep 20, 2000 Messages: 976 Likes Received: 2
    :lol: :lol: yeah you gotta love it when people give you the easy loop holes!!