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tonight I scared myself

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Zack Morris, Aug 23, 2001.

  1. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    tonight for the first time suicide was a rational thaught in my mind. though it was only for a split second that scared me in ways i have never been scared. I have had on going drama with a girl that I thaught was "perfect"...its a long stary...I caught myself holding a razor blade to my wrist and thinking this can all be over in a moment. then i realized the stupidity of this. I was so scared of what I may do to myself that I gathered all the sharp obejects or weapons and anything fo that nature from my bedroom, i put them in a bag and threw the bag to a rafter in my garage. i don't know why I am saying this o a bunch of strangers. I guess i am still a bit shook up. i have taken some tylenol pm to try and knock me out. i figure I can't hurt myself in my sleep. tomorrow morning things will be better. I can face a new day. I can try to make that day the most amazing day of my life. This may be a cry for a help, or maybe I am just looking for a kind word. maybe I am just craving attention. I don't know. but i ujst wanted to share this. I do want to sk anyone if they have gone through these types of things. or am I just wrong. it seems lately my life is one problem on top of the other. and when i think about it I really have nothing to live for other than finding something to live for...over nd out

    your friend,
    Zack Morris
  2. OGBforMumia

    OGBforMumia Member

    Joined: Sep 23, 2000 Messages: 710 Likes Received: 0
    you cant go. who is abe408 gonna be in the crew with...you know im not that cool.
    you're too cool of a dude to be going off and slicing your wrist with a razor blade. fuck girls they're not worth takin your life over. it was just one. there will be others.. be sure not to take a lot of tylenol pm.
    if you want to talk you know my screen name (chssoccerholigan, if you dont)

    stay up playa
  3. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 21,803 Likes Received: 41
    if you really wanted to die you wouldnt use a razor and your wrists. aorry bro, i know you didnt really want to do it. or else youd be dead. sorry im bitter, but im in a situation about 1000 times worse than yours, not with a girl (i have bad girl probs. too) but this problem deals with life and it is going to change me forever, it actually already has, and believe me ive thought of dying too many times, came close too, but i could never do it, and i know why i couldnt..... because deep down i didnt want to die. sorry to come off as a prick, but if you really wanted to die, youd be dead by now. take care, and keep your head up. there will always be another girl.

    [This message has been edited by T.T Boy (edited 08-23-2001).]
  4. jarryd

    jarryd Guest

    i know your probably not going to agree with me on this zack, but if the girl put you through that much pain, and brought you to THAT point -

    then i dont think shes worth it...

    no girl that seems "perfect" would do that to you, would make you think to do that, or do it...

    again, you probably dont wanna hear all this, and im just being a big hypocrite when i say all this... but one day you'll meet the girl, she wont put you through that, and she will bring alot of joy and pleasure into your life, and believe it or not, you'll forget about the girl your on right now... believe me....
  5. LUKY

    LUKY Member

    Joined: Sep 22, 2000 Messages: 459 Likes Received: 0
    yeah, razor blades are played out man, dont kill your shit.
  6. K[O]MEGA

    K[O]MEGA Guest

    kick the bitch to da curb and smoke a fucking blunt ...

    fuck that shit..people fucking worry to much...
    you were fine before you met her... youll b fine when you forget her..

    when you were a kid you hardly ever think stuff out..you lost something you cry ..then forget..you wanted something you cried then forget..and so on..and now that your older you think more....fuk that..no worries..
    as much as it may hurt..

    i think missing out on whats to come will hurt more in the long run..what if you become a millionare..
    what if's..
    think posotive..negativity is for people who think to much..

    hope you read this ..instead of juss passing it through..peace

    kOmega..burning tree's!


    i know how ya feel man. i've done a few rounds w/ depression and its a pretty opressive force to be reconed with. my advice, catch "a rub n a tug" then go bombing. channel that negative energy into pure vandalism...
  8. DoPe DiSh

    DoPe DiSh Junior Member

    Joined: Jun 21, 2001 Messages: 105 Likes Received: 0
    Yo Hun, Don't play a role in this Bitch's soap opera. Life is a fuckin rollercoaster. Just hold on tight and don't "Let Go". Remember, your not alone, all of us go through these emotions and experiences at some point in our lives.
  9. tow up from tha flow up !

    tow up from tha flow up ! Member

    Joined: May 31, 2001 Messages: 878 Likes Received: 1
    awwwwe... zack if you kill yourself, who's kelly gonna go to senior prom with? AC Slater? riiiiight.....

    No, I'm just kidding. Dude, I've met you in person. You are one hellova guy. You're smart, nice, cute.. people like you. You're still young, and you still have a lot to learn about girlies. Problems seem to all come at once, but if you stick it through, things change... and when they do, then you've learned a buttload of useful information. Remember when we used to post on the shit talker and my ex boyfriend started making posts about me being a buelemic slut or something? now that shit sucked pretty fucking bad concidering i was madly in love with him before we broke up. but honestly, 1 month later, the thought didn't even phase me, and I learned a lot about who I should and who I should not love.. you know? Just hang in there. You're on the right track.

    PRUDE - If I had nuts, you'd be on 'em.
  10. To see the point from a different view,
    Here's mine.
    I had a weird habit,i scanned dead insects.
    First i killed them,trying not to mess them up a lot and then i scanned them.
    One night i killed a fly,and after i scanned her a couple of times i decided i wanted a picture of her face.I placed the fly on a little white cardboard box with her ass down and the face looking up,i sticked a needle at the center of her body and glued the end on the cardboard.The fly was almost ready for the scan,but i had to glue her ass to so i would be sure she wouldnt fall off when upsidedown.Then i thought that glue could work as some kind of varnish if the fly had a layer of glue all over her.It was 5 in the morning and i was completely concetrated like being in a koma.When the first drop of glue fell on the flys head she started moving her proboscis(bad word i know)
    She was still alive and i was above her torturing her like some fuckin nazi doctor.
    Not only i was scared and terrified but i was really sick of my self in all ways.
    That incident got me in to thinking for days.
    About many things from da vincis anatomy sketches to kafka's novels and from damien hirst to medicine.But most of all on what could be a reason to attempt certain actions like life taking in everyway.
  11. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    i slept on it..i feel alot better now...i never really wanted to do it..i just got scared that I might..there were a few split seconds where I thaught about as if that ws a ratinal thing to do and I just got shook...i'm ok now. plus i was up in time this morning to fix a cup of coffee and sit and watch the price is right. that made me happy. i think I should go down to the max and see if I can find screecha nd jessie. see what they are up to.

    til I change my mind..STRAIGHT EDGE!!!!!