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this STORY is for DEE and DEVILUSH


Guest -sudz-

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Guest -sudz-

wow shit, i'm late for school. this can't be happening!!! my perfect record tarnished forever. just like my pants, damn grade 2 grass stains. wait, why cant i see? have i opened my eyes? yes. yes i think i have. woohoo i'm blind, it's that a jim-dandy. wait, no it's not, this sucks. all well, this shouldnt matter, i can still eat some cereal right? yeah, cereal should bring back my vision. hrrrmmmmmmm...... i think thats milk. hopefully. all well. ok, spoon, that feels like a spoon. why wont it go in my mouth??!!! grrrrr what has happened to me?! not puberty, i'm not ready for this. wait, my head feels fluff and soft, and has eyes, and is drueling on me. WICKED! my pillow has over night grown apendages and has started to slowly eat my body, waiting for me to slowly die of malnutrition at which point it will fianally eat the rest of me because by then i will be thin enough to fit in his mouth. i dont want this to happen, wheres that knife? i think this is a fork, it'll do. this pillow is smarter than i though, that fork went right into my head. maybe this meat cleaver will make a differance. ouch, nope.well now. i'm bleeding alot. getting sleepy..... our friend Bob then fell to the ground, smashing his head off the corner on the table, causing even more blood to pulse out of him, onto the ground. since his parents were both unemployed they slept in and missed this whole event, and did not hear he pleas for help, they were muffled by the pillow. by this point it was down to his waist, and by the time his parents woke up to find this mess he was done for. all they found was a sweaty bloody pillow, laying on the floor in an extremely large puddle of blood and brain goo. they cried, and then went to the insurance agency and are living large. they were vampires.

 

THE END.

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Guest -sudz-

k, i have this one illustrated, but i'm not gonna scan it in, its kinda long, so your lucky i'm typing it.

 

 

THE STAMP COLLECTING DUMMY

 

dedicated to my friend Julia.

 

 

"only one stamp left!?" they all exclaimed in a panic. yes, i replied, only one stamp left. i used the others to luir animals from their dwellings, only to ravage them until they were dead and motionless.i am a murderer, plain and simple. "oh my!" they shouted hapily at this revilation. wit this out of the way, what should be done with the last stamp. Moof thought we could send away for some cassette tapes we could all eat. we thought this was an excellent idea. the world stopped for 6 to eight weeks. we left home.it was a sad ocassion, the stamps were all gone, we soloumly ate the cassettes, which bled for some reason. probably to make this scene better. oh yeah, a ninja came from no where and totally killed everyone but me, and the mailman who wasnt there anyways. after the ninja went home i saw the envelope, its had 4 (four) more stamps on it. yes. how wonderous the postal service is, it didnt print over the stamps. i could still use them! the first thing i did was eat the mailman's face and kill more rabbits. i also brew black dots on my bellybutton. that was the best part. from there i went on hundreds of stamp collecting quest and brutally murdered thousands of rabbits from then on.[ i didnt even get in trouble.that's because i eat people's faces off, i am a badger and i get mad-crazy.

 

 

the end.

 

by reilly.

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Originally posted by -sudz-

oh yeah, a ninja came from no where and totally killed everyone but me, and the mailman who wasnt there anyways. after the ninja went home i saw the envelope, its had 4 (four) more stamps on it. yes. how wonderous the postal service is, it didnt print over the stamps. i could still use them! the first thing i did was eat the mailman's face and kill more rabbits...... i am a badger and i get mad-crazy.

 

:lol: i like this one better.

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Guest Pilau Hands

hahahahahahahahahahaha

 

comedic masterpieces

 

do you take requests? could you write something having to do with the word "harvest?" i am selfish! give me!

 

dlush knows whassup!

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  • 2 years later...

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