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This Is EXACTLY Why I Am Single

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Fuck Ya'll, Apr 28, 2004.

  1. Fuck Ya'll

    Fuck Ya'll Member

    Joined: Nov 24, 2003 Messages: 601 Likes Received: 0
    10 minutes ago I get a call from this guy that's had a crush on me for a while. Keep in mind he went to jail for 3 months for beating up his own brother so he's not all there.

    Me: Hello?
    Him: Hey! Why didn't you come to my party Saturday night?
    Me: I was on the other side of town. I stayed out late so I crashed at my friend's house.
    Him: Who's your friend?
    Me: This girl
    Him: Oh. What did you guys do?
    Me: We went swimming and she made me lunch.
    Him: Did she kiss you?
    Me: Um, NO.
    Him: Cause you said she made you lunch and you guys went swimming and stuff huuuh huhhh (dumb laughter).
    Me: Yeah, I gotta go.

    Oh yeah, and did I tell you guys about the guy with the prostetic leg?

    Fuck Ya'll/Hello Dry Spell
     
  2. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    no, tell us about fake leg guy now.


    Mr. ABC/available for lovin anytime anywhere
     
  3. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 23, 2002 Messages: 22,277 Likes Received: 117
  4. PalestineOne

    PalestineOne Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 25, 2004 Messages: 1,177 Likes Received: 0
    so why dont you lower your standards?
     
  5. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    Hahahahaha....

    Dr. Dazzle/on call 24 hours a day.....
     
  6. High Priest

    High Priest Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 1, 2002 Messages: 4,928 Likes Received: 3
    So your single..why?
     
  7. Ski Mask

    Ski Mask 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 11,114 Likes Received: 209
    what the hell are you talking about? that guy sounds like a keeper!
     
  8. TheoHuxtable

    TheoHuxtable Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 5, 2004 Messages: 2,113 Likes Received: 1
    So I take for the past few months you've been using these for your extra-curricular activities?

    [​IMG]
     
  9. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 23, 2002 Messages: 22,277 Likes Received: 117
    What the fuck is up with the one that looks like a turbo plunger (second from the right.)

    And the god damn hydra toilet brush one next to it?
     
  10. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    yeah, tell us about the fake leg guy.
     
  11. Fuck Ya'll

    Fuck Ya'll Member

    Joined: Nov 24, 2003 Messages: 601 Likes Received: 0
    Once upon a time, there was this really cute guy that sat next to me in class. Keep in mind everyone at my school looks like a fucking nerd, so this guy stuck out like a sore thumb. He was tall with wavy brown hair, and had super sexy arms.

    As time went by, he started to flirt with me in class, and eventually gave me his number. As I spoke to him on the phone, I learned that he doesn't really know how to act around women. He liked me, but he took way too long to make a move. But I gave him a chance because he was kinda young.

    One day he gave me a ride home from school, and I noticed he had a handicap parking pass hanging from his rearview mirror. Before I even questioned it he said "I got this pass from my friend. You can have my other one if you want". I didn't think anything of it, until one night on the phone he said "My leg is fake". I thought he was kidding because he said it so bluntly.

    Then in class, I noticed he held his pen like a kindergardener. Why? Because not only is he missing a leg, he's also missing some fingers. Knowing that I knew the "real" him got him all weirded out, so he started to hold back. By the time he decided to actually do something about me, I already had a change of heart.

    Even with all these missing body parts (hopefully his penis wasn't missing), I still stuck around cause he was actually a really dope guy. But it wasn't his leg, or his hands that bothered me... it was his insecurities and the fact that he couldn't face his problems with me like a man.

    In conclusion, I'm really not as superficial as I come off.
     
  12. Mr. Whoppie

    Mr. Whoppie New Jack

    Joined: Mar 16, 2003 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
  13. Fuck Ya'll

    Fuck Ya'll Member

    Joined: Nov 24, 2003 Messages: 601 Likes Received: 0
     
  14. GLIK$

    GLIK$ Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 23, 2002 Messages: 22,277 Likes Received: 117
    if thats a porno, i need to see it.
     
  15. PalestineOne

    PalestineOne Senior Member

    Joined: Mar 25, 2004 Messages: 1,177 Likes Received: 0
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